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Who Decides?

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Who Decides?

from JoeUser Forums
You are having a heated argument with an acquaintance, a disagreement of sorts, suddenly party A says "hey you hurt my feelings" Party B' Says no I did not!

I always thought it was up to the party that had his feelings hurt to decide if they were hurt or not.

How can anyone say "I did not hurt your feelings" when Party A made it very clear indeed they were hurt.

Who's decision is it to decide about hurt feelings? The one that claims there feelings were hurt or insulted or the other party in this case party B who is NOT INSIDE Party A head, who does not feel what Party A felt?

When someone tells me I hurt them I might not understand why they are hurt or insulted, but then again I am not in that persons head and I do not have a clue how that person feels except for what they tell me. I apologize even if I do not understand what's the big deal, It must have been a big deal or else why would Party A say he was hurt or insulted?

If asked to apologize you can do one of two things, apologize if you think the other person is worth keeping around, or not apologize even knowing you might have this person annoyed enough to kick you to the curb. It all seems very black and white to me. What say you folks?
3,729 views 30 replies
Reply #26 from JoeUser Forums Top
#26 by Gideon MacLeish
Sat, June 03, 2006 0:17 PM


Thank you for reopening your blog and extending the olive branch. It shows a lot of character on your part.


thank you , sometimes I just need a cooling off period.
Reply #27 from JoeUser Forums Top
#31 by little-whip
Sat, June 03, 2006 1:40 PM


in yer own weird and perverted ways


there is nothing weird and perverted about me, unless you count my penchant for pink thong panties with black mesh nylons anchored by a stunning little garter belt.
Siege of Centauri
Reply #28 from JoeUser Forums Top
there is nothing weird and perverted about me, unless you count my penchant for pink thong panties with black mesh nylons anchored by a stunning little garter belt.


we need an emoticon for "TMI"!
Reply #29 from JoeUser Forums Top
Reply By: Gideon MacLeishPosted: Saturday, June 03, 2006there is nothing weird and perverted about me, unless you count my penchant for pink thong panties with black mesh nylons anchored by a stunning little garter belt. we need an emoticon for "TMI"!


I bet that mental picture will disturb your sleep for weeks. heh heh heh
Reply #30 from JoeUser Forums Top
Often times it's a matter of expecations or a misunderstanding that leads to the feelings being hurt.


Very insightful adventure-dude!
true words.

It is not up to me to decide how they should or should not feel.


also insightful, and also true. I've been taught that people choose how they feel, which no one has brought up here, probably because it would be too much like throwing fuel on the fire!!

I read this blog when it first came out, before all the comments and I left it alone as it didn't make sense to me as I didn't know what had happened.
I thought ( wrongly) that maybe it was kinda like a philosophical article.

THEN I read Gid's article and knew what was going on, sort of.

I came back here at 1:30 a.m. this morning cause I can't sleep and find this again!
AND it hit me right between the eyes!
CAUSE my sis and me had a falling out a couple of years ago, then again a year and a half ago. It SEEMS I screw up somehow, with her, on a regular basis.....

This blog article allowed me to see that while I hadn't done anything wrong, and she swears "I hurt her feeelings" ( to which I apologized) she didn't and hasn't forgiven me. No matter I apologized. I did my part. She hasn't.

Sorry I went into so much detail, it's just that seeing this really helped alot!!

It made it possible to understand things better. AND I'm really glad you guys made up! Gots to be some place where we can all get along, in spite of relatives........
Nuf said