just a player...

Aren't we all?

Anyway, I'm sorta expecting a process server at my door any day now, with a summons to appear on several counts of mental cruelty: including bunghole defamation; inducing nightmares of penis pecking parrots & one eyed, one legged pirates.....the soiling of underwear at the sound of 'AAARRGGGHHH'......

  

I'll stand with you capt'n! And Pecky too!

just a player...

...minus the bling bling...

I'll stand with you capt'n! And Pecky too!

I thank ye fer that, 1st Mate Guy! Us'd better not stand too close ta that thar infamous bunghole, tho....cos one almighty "AAAARRRGGGHHH" 'll see us up ta our knees in it. An' I doubts it'll taste anyfink like Cadbury's.

Last time I were in court it were fer a Coronial Inquest, a rather morbid affair as I recall, so this 'un could be fun....tho I be afeared o' bein' held in contempt fer uncontrollable courtroom laughter.....ye knows wot I mean....like when ye releases a thunderous fart n' it echoes throughout tha church mid-sermon.

I'll stand with you capt'n! And Pecky too!

Best be throwin' me in with ye Capt'n and as Chaplain of this 'ere vessel I'll be sayin' a kind word that who ever be findin' a problem with this 'ere hijacked thread will be find'n a little 'appiness in there life

and as Chaplain of this 'ere vesse

I wants ye ta breathe a bit o fire n' brimstone inta blaggards who be tryin' ta scuttle this 'ere brig....tho a prayer fer them that's afeared of losin' tha decks 'neath thar feet wouldn' go astray, neither. They'll be needin' yer 'elp cos some fessed up ta me them cain't swim.

'ere now MasonM, thar be no need of lettin' that kind of rumor be gettin' started

'ere now MasonM, thar be no need of lettin' that kind of rumor be gettin' started

Right on, ta.....just cos some malcontented dissident with a chip on his shoulder and conspiracy theories coming out of his orifice happened to bring out the 'nutter' in one or two here, it's a bit unfair to tar everyone with the same brush.

Oh, and for those who may doubt my sanity and 'think' I'm a lunatic with a few sheep missing in the top paddock, I'll remove all doubt, speculation & conjecture. I am completely and utterly stark raving mad. And is it any wonder! History reveals some of my ancestors were padded cell dwellers and guinea pigs in the early development of the straight jacket, so it's purely genetic, congenital, hereditary and through no fault of my own. Well that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

long live Mad Starkers!

long live Mad Starkers!

HERE HERE!!!!!!!!

long live Mad Starkers!

That'd be Mad Cap'n starkers to you....

BTW, ta n' Skinhit, thanks for the support....if I'm gonna get sued for perpetuating 'Joe User = Joke User' and turning it into a real joke/a whole load of fun, it's great to know I got you guys on first and second base when I hit the home run fer tha team. The pitcher might think he's hot stuff with that deceptive curve ball ...but we are the champions...my friends...and well keep on fighting, 'til the end....cos we are the champions, we are the champions....of the (Joke User) world.

Oh, and I may have ommitted a couple of self inflicted things that MAY have contributed to my fragile state of mind.....

I married two sadistic ex-wives and remained with 'em far too long....then there was my years of addiction to magic mushroom soup....

years of addiction to magic mushroom soup....

Mad Brujo ese!

There's only one thing I'm addicted to - KK...

fuzzy.....how could you not be?

Mad Brujo ese!

Pobre cito

There's only one thing I'm addicted to - KK...

Sehlat or no sehlat, she be one horny alien n' I'll fight yer fer 'er.....'ow be 'e at toe wrestlin'????

Aarghh!!! Now I be in fer it.....Mrs starkers just see'd wot I n' 'er be gittin tha cat o' nine prepared fer ta teach I who (really) be tha boss.....

Shame that, if I were (really) in charge, I'd have that un as No1 in a bevy o' bawdy babes.

Thought I'd better see my doc to check why I'm lacking in the marbles department...

An MRI and a CT scan revealed I've a bit of RATHER TWISTED grey matter...probably the result of two ex-wives, rather than magic mushroom soup. Anyway, after a bit of psychoanalysis, the doc concluded that I'm a glutton for punishment and my third marriage nost likely exacerbated the condition....

Well I did a bit of research of my own and discovered in the Bible how a bloke can say "I divorce thee, I divorce thee' three times and its all over.....so now we're living in sin and I feel a whole lot better (more wicked too), and If I keep up with my meds I should be (relatively) okay....sort of.

Also, the doc did an IQ test on me....came back as only 180, so I did it again and answered everything twice to double my score/IQ.

came back as only 180, so I did it again and answered everything twice to double my score/IQ.

sheer genuis

180 was the brain cell count not IQ   

180 was the brain cell count not IQ

Thanks Fuzzy, I needed a dose of reality to bring my head back out of the clouds....

But in reality, the actual brain cell count was 179....so despite the unwelcomed remark regarding my grey matter deficiency, I can't afford to give you a piece of my mind.

Okay, so when's this "gonna be fun" party gonna begin? I put out the welcome mat, got a roll of red carpet and teed up a pyrotechnics mate to set off a few whizz, bang, pops for the occasion....but nothing, bugger all and nobody's turned up.

Shoot, I even hung streamers off the yardarm. balloons off tha mizzen n' figurehead and spruced up tha ol' tub wiv a dab o' paint.....and still nuffin!

Worse still, I got tha cook bitchin' in me ear ev'ry so often....she's spewin' cos nobody came and the luvverly cake she baked went stale.

Wait...watch...wonder