The Moderateman Diet and stop smoking plan

All these plans to stop smoking. All the multitudes of ways to lose weight, HA! none of them really WORK. The moderateman plan to loss weight is GUARANTEED TO PEEL weight off and whats best about it you won't even notice the weight melting away!! What is best about this most excellent weight loss you get to quit smoking cigarettes at the same time with absolutely no craving for nicotine.

Here is how my programs works, yes I am giving away the secret of the program because success such as this must be shared with others in need at no cost.. not a single penny.

First somehow you must come down with a fatal or almost fatal case of viral pneumonia, then the trick is to make it to a hospital before you fall into a full blown coma, the coma MUST be extended for at least three weeks {21 days for the math challenged}. When I entered the hospital I weighed 245 pounds on Jan. 12, 2007 and smoked 2 packs of pall mall unfiltered cigarettes a day, when I left on the 6th of Feb. I was a sleek 198 pounds and had not smoked for 26 days with no trouble at all. Today is the beginning of my 3rd month of no smoking, and while I have gained a small amount of weight back, 206 is nothing when you compare it to 245 is it folks?

While this article has taken me 3 days to write due to extreme weakness on my part, I must say I have enjoyed doing this.

Remember to tell those to you love, that "YOU LOVE THEM TODAY" it might be your last chance to say those words.

Colleen said just before I went into a coma the last thing I said to her was " coll? I so love you my sweet baby" If I had died that would have been good words for her to have remembered as my last words to her.

Love to all,

 

Elie

 

PS IF ANYONE BOTHERS TO RESPOND TO THIS, I WILL BE RESPONDING BACK.. SLOWLY.. BUT RESPOND I WILL.

26,264 views 28 replies
Reply #1 Top

Where do I send my money to sign up for this plan!  WOW!  Didn't I see you on the infomertial at 3am the other day?

Welcome back again!

Reply #2 Top
Nice to see you writing again. The diet sounds amazing...but I don't think I'd want to see you go through it again.
Reply #3 Top
Do you have any tips on how to contract viral pneumonia? This sounds like the plan for me! I already quit smoking... but it could only help the cravings.

Glad you're back.
Reply #4 Top
Hi, Elie, my name is Don. Thought I'd introduce myself, since I've started posting and commenting more here since around the time you went into your coma. I've got more than a few demons in hibernation myself. Like you, I'm enjoying my daily reprieves. I have one disease, with many aspects. Addiction.

You can keep your cure, but it sure sounds like there is always some good to be had, even from the worst situations.
Reply #5 Top
(Citizen)Dr GuyMarch 13, 2007 12:53:11


Where do I send my money to sign up for this plan! WOW! Didn't I see you on the infomertial at 3am the other day?
Welcome back again!


no money doc, totally FREE..

ONE WELCOPME BACK WILL DO MY FRIEND.
Reply #6 Top
(Citizen)InBloomMarch 13, 2007 13:19:13


Nice to see you writing again. The diet sounds amazing...but I don't think I'd want to see you go through it again.


seems like forever since I posted rose, for now it takes more energy than I can spare for the most part. I am sure "my diet" was much harder on colleen than it was on me, after all I was not really "there"
Reply #7 Top
(Citizen)Sugar High ElfMarch 13, 2007 14:13:38


Do you have any tips on how to contract viral pneumonia


Find someone with the disease, take a straw shove it down there throat into the lungs and suck some fluid out? ewwwwwwwww that even grossed me out.

thank you for the welcome back SHE.
Reply #8 Top
(Citizen)DrDonaldMarch 13, 2007 14:18:58


Hi, Elie, my name is Don. Thought I'd introduce myself, since I've started posting and commenting more here since around the time you went into your coma. I've got more than a few demons in hibernation myself. Like you, I'm enjoying my daily reprieves. I have one disease, with many aspects. Addiction.


\nice to meet cha don, there are more than a few of us here in recovery from drugs and booze by the way, I look forward to reading you, for now it is all I can do to post s few inane comments.

Reply #9 Top
LOL, brilliant article.

I quit smoking and lost weight because of pregnancy. That might be an alternate, safer plan, although not so realistic for male-type people.

*big, big, big, biiiiig hug*

And tell Colleen thank you for taking such good care of you for us, Elie.
Reply #10 Top
ModMan,

It's nice to come in JU, browse around and see your name under 'Recent Joeuser Articles'. It's good to see ya and good to see you're getting better.

Three months without a cigarette is super. Here's hoping you continue.

As for your diet, can you please try like Atkins next time? It will be better for all involved.

PS IF ANYONE BOTHERS TO RESPOND TO THIS, I WILL BE RESPONDING BACK.. SLOWLY.. BUT RESPOND I WILL.

Take your time responding. Believe me, everybody will understand if it takes you awhile.

We're just glad you're back.
Reply #11 Top
I decided to just skip the pneumonia and just quit the cancer sticks. And I like to eat and can pass tape so to heck with a crash diet like yours!

Glad you are doing better.
Reply #12 Top
Find someone with the disease, take a straw shove it down there throat into the lungs and suck some fluid out? ewwwwwwwww that even grossed me out.


Ok, yeah, I think I'll pass.
Reply #13 Top

So there's less of you to see, but what is left is smoke free and healthier?  Cool.

On the other hand, I wouldn't want to go through what you did, and am really glad you pulled through it ok.

Reply #14 Top
Hey MM...so glad you are back, if weaker and lighter.

Good on you for quitting....or should I say good on the coma? Heh.

Big hugs from Ohio.
Reply #15 Top
Elie, my friend, what a boost to my afternoon to see a blog from you--though I think I'll take a pass on the diet. It doesn't sound like my cup of tea at all. Hope you are getting stronger each day. Sending my love to both you and Colleen.
Reply #16 Top
Great to see you posting again my friend.
Reply #17 Top
LOL! You're back my funny, funny friend! I love this, so you and it's good to read you in rare form again! You take care and remember we love you! I don't smoke but I'll sign up, as long as I wake up too!   
Reply #18 Top
And here I've been working so hard at this weight watchers thing. It's working but it's slow. Or at least slower than I would like. I just want to unzip the fat suit and be a hottie again. I'll get there without the drastic measures you had to take...eventually.

Glad to see you back. (((hugs)))
Reply #19 Top

Reply By: Texas WahinePosted: Tuesday, March 13, 2007
, brilliant article.

I quit smoking and lost weight because of pregnancy. That might be an alternate, safer plan, although not so realistic for male-type people.

*big, big, big, biiiiig hug*

And tell Colleen thank you for taking such good care of you for us, Elie.

 

I thought this had just the right tone tex.. I just could not see the point of whining about the trials and tribulations of the crap I went through.

I passed on your kind words to colleen, she is truly the strongest and most amazing person.

Reply #20 Top

Reply By: uDigItTheMostPosted: Tuesday, March 13, 2007
ModMan,

It's nice to come in JU, browse around and see your name under 'Recent Joeuser Articles'. It's good to see ya and good to see you're getting better.

Three months without a cigarette is super. Here's hoping you continue.

Seems like the dr. was quite serious about me stopping, he just said point blank.. "you start smoking, with those lungs, you die, fast"

Reply #21 Top

Reply By: SSG GeezerPosted: Tuesday, March 13, 2007
I decided to just skip the pneumonia and just quit the cancer sticks. And I like to eat and can pass tape so to heck with a crash diet like yours!

Glad you are doing better.

your way sounds so much more sensible. better? yes.. well? not by a long shot..

Reply #22 Top
will get to other responces soon as I can, I hear nap time calling.
Reply #23 Top
Have an hour on me! Snark! Damn DST!
Reply #24 Top
i know this is a bit belated, as i've been tied up with life lately, but i wanted to welcome ya back, soldier (with a salute in your direction)...

take care,,,we'll argue later...
Reply #25 Top

Reply By: little-whipPosted: Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Find someone with the disease, take a straw shove it down there throat into the lungs and suck some fluid out?


Is that how you got it, Elie?

 

Nope I shoved a straw up someones butt into their lungs then sucked.