I am Pharmacist of Borg... and I have just invented a pill for men with software issues.  One before bed will ensure they have the necessary hardware.

I am Insomniac of Borg... it wouldn't be so bad if it were 7of9 and an unruly implant keeping me up every night.

I am Kapitan Ernsk Metapopoplouski of Borg.......I am Kapitan Ernsk Metapoplou......Metapoplu......Metapop......oh pop this already, sheesh!

I am Jesse James of Borg... my wife is divorcing me because I got caught assimilating in a monster truck with my production assistant.

I am Tiger Woods of Borg... hey Jesse, wanna get together so we swap names and addresses from our little black books?

I am Lorena Bobbit of Borg... if you lil ol boys was married to me you'd be eunuchs by now.

OUCH!!!!!!!

I am Painful Lee of Borg.... OUCH, OUCH, OUCHHHHH, I just caught my implant in my zipper

That's why we lost power here the other night. You shorted your pecker.

I am Censor of Borg......************

Hehe... a short in my shorts with a short to my shortened short pecker.

I am Electrician of Borg.... it adds a new dimension to assimilation when you have a small current flowing to your implant.

I am Angus Young of Borg... I know, why do you think we're called AC, DC.

I am Ellen DeGeneres.... really?   And I've been living in a blackout all these years. 

I am Portia De Rossi... never mind, dear. I can get on of those strap on implants and become a double adapter.

I are Electricalcal Specialist Of Borg......um...Oh yeah... We are havin' a hard time with the....zzzzzzzzzzt!

I am Kirk Douglas of Borg.... being that I'm in my 90's now, maybe I could use a bit of electrical current to encourage a bit of life in the old implant.

I am Don Juan of Borg.... I'm such a good lover I don't need a electrical current in my implant to shock the ladies.

I am Tiger Woods of Borg.... I dunno about high voltage, but my implant has seen high usage in recent times.

I am Elin Woods of Borg..... my bank account is..... currently...high..    along with my revoltage.... of Tiger....

I am Milburn Drysdale of Borg.... hello Elin, if you transfer your fortune to my bank, I'll loan it to your ex-husband to build his new place at 33% p/a and we'll triple your money in no time.

I am Bernie Madoff of Borg... no, no, Elin, let me invest it for you in one of my ponzi schemes.

her financial adviser is Mrs Mac of Hey Hey I'm Borg.....and it's all going under the matress

I am Just Waking Up of Borg......where's my coffee!!!!!!

I am Pest Exterminator of Borg.... Hello Ms Elin, I am here to check your bed for bedbugs.

I am Bimbo of Borg..........er, where am i? who am i? and who r u?  

I am Stunned Mullet of Borg... hey Bimbo of Borg, funny thing, that, I'm constantly asking myself those questions as well.

I am Zsa Zsa Gaborg......         darling.... 

I am Gordon Ramsay of Borg......                 

I am taxman of Borg........     

I am Paul Hogan of Borg.......  

I'm Palin of Borg.... I taught Jafo all hiz gramm'r an' spellin' (like a momma grizzly)

I am Michael Palin of Borg.... I wouldn't mention grammar in front of Sarah if I were you.... she will think you are talking about your great grandma and ask a million questions on how she is.

This is my third try.

I am Very Frustrated Now of Borg......Damn mouse pad sucks big time!!!! I want it assimilated. Call El Destructo of Borg. Tell him I got a job for him. The usual fee of two turnips and a mole will be in the usual place.

I am El Destructo of Borg... I can fix your mousepad, but being that I'm using a bigger sledgehammer these days, my payment has increased to two molls and a turnip.

I am PoliceBorg Herkle McGurkle of Borg...That be highway robbery and we dunt even have a highway.

Put them in the usual place? You know...under the front porch next to the c****** c******

I am Mad Max of Borg.... of course we have highways, tho that John Denver feller has a lot to answer for, calling 'em Country Roads n' all.

Would that C**** C*****  be my curried cabbage patch or my stash of cactus cider?

There be's an empty...hic...jug or two or four...hic.

HI...I am...hic...In...Ineb...Inebri... Soused of Borgia................................................................................................................................................................................hic.