Baldwin
from 
JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
why didn’t we know Baldwin
all those showers together washing
football off our asses and snapping towels
laughing and joking throwing shit at each
other
how was it we didn’t see your pain or
fear
you hit me so hard once I swallowed a molar
blood dripped out of my mouth staining the blue
of our jerseys to purple
I remember hitting my knees starry eyed
and thinking it was a good thing we played
on the same team
in the Lakewood game, like a thundering
giant thru the line, you broke both of their
quarterbacks in three plays
the newspaper called you “blue chip” and
speculated your worth in millions
but something happened after school
Nebraska wanted you, paid for you, you were
everything with a ribbon and bow
high school and draftable, but momma wanted
college
then I read how they found you, dead in some
motel on the strip, the headline said “dressed in silk panties”
documenting your queerness and everything else we
never wanted to know
they stole your history and pissed on ours
but how did we not know
the way you hit, being queer would become just
another way to say “big black 300lbs. of destruction”
anyway, that’s what I think every time I run my tongue
over that empty spot in the back of my mouth.
J. Masuda © 2004
all those showers together washing
football off our asses and snapping towels
laughing and joking throwing shit at each
other
how was it we didn’t see your pain or
fear
you hit me so hard once I swallowed a molar
blood dripped out of my mouth staining the blue
of our jerseys to purple
I remember hitting my knees starry eyed
and thinking it was a good thing we played
on the same team
in the Lakewood game, like a thundering
giant thru the line, you broke both of their
quarterbacks in three plays
the newspaper called you “blue chip” and
speculated your worth in millions
but something happened after school
Nebraska wanted you, paid for you, you were
everything with a ribbon and bow
high school and draftable, but momma wanted
college
then I read how they found you, dead in some
motel on the strip, the headline said “dressed in silk panties”
documenting your queerness and everything else we
never wanted to know
they stole your history and pissed on ours
but how did we not know
the way you hit, being queer would become just
another way to say “big black 300lbs. of destruction”
anyway, that’s what I think every time I run my tongue
over that empty spot in the back of my mouth.
J. Masuda © 2004