Captain Jack Sparrow Captain Jack Sparrow

G.R.O.S.S. communication thread.

G.R.O.S.S. communication thread.

Cringe in fear do gooders. The G.R.O.S.S. (Get Rid Of Slimy alienS) empire is now formed. In less than an hour we have jumped 95 other Pacifist Doo Gooder victim empires and lept into 40th out of 135 ranked.

We are an evil empire bent on controlling everything and showing all the other empires out there who's boss. US. Are you listening Euro-"Oh lets let everyone be a senator and give em a vote doo gooder democracy alliance?" We come for you.

For a limited time, (untill I decide otherwise) 5 Pure Evil games, (or just impressing me with your game evilness) submitted will get you a Senatorship. Later, being the evil empire pyramid scheme we are, it will take 10. Of course, being the evil empire we are, that gives you no benefits, no pay, but all the alien carnage you crave most.

Now we do realize that sometimes, you just have to fake being good. You sometimes just have to infiltrate that pacifist party. We understand. But we aren't a kinder gentler empire and don't let their pacifism go to your head. And just sometimes, you gotta let the Aliens live (where else would you find slaves for the heavy metal lava mines?)

In the future, we shall update each other in the empire via this thread, brag of our conquests, drink blood wine, and generally just poke fun (creatively and humorously) at those players whom we find to be too goody goodyish.

Our mottos.

G.R.O.S.S. Where being good is merely a temporary strategy.

Just win baby.

Here's your ration of skin you do gooder wimp Drengin slime. Now get back to work

EBZeroMatrix you have been made a senator.

I repeat. Cringe in fear, we come for you.





100,383 views 3,706 replies
Reply #2726 Top
The Sad truth about Golf:
End of quote


Hmm, interesting! Have you ever seen the Robin Williams sketch( full of obscenities) about a Scotsman inventing golf and explaining it to a friend in a bar? It is absolutely maginificent!!
Reply #2728 Top
Well boys. Nose to the old Grindstone again. Monday Morning... Yuk. Washer gets fixed today then it's off to work...

Carry on Mates. Finest crew in the metaverse.
Reply #2729 Top
To Hell and Back again Part 3
Cybil, The Geektrix, and the Wannabe evil empire Revealed.
(parts 1 and 2 are on the south seas thread)

Bakka and Rainbird had just drawn their weapons as had Pontius and Wombat.

Rainbird made a quick lunge right at Pontius. Pontius ducked to the side and away meanwhile bringing his cutlass across his body in one motion Clipping Rainbirds left wing. She spiraled down. "You haven't gotten me yet.. Suddenly, a long snake slithered out of the now motionless rainbird. Hissss. You aren't fassssssst enough to stop me, she hissssed.

Meanwhile. Bakka made a circular loop and dive right at Wombat's backside. But wombie was too quick. Whump whump. The light sabre's crashed together.

The fight raged on. The snake trying to strike Pontius only to get the cutlass everytime. Hisss Pontius, you have to use the Cutlass for defense and so can't strike me. All I need is to get through once and you're history.

Suddenly Poof. Who should appear but Harry Potter. Stupefy!!! Wham!!! The new Rainbird snake gets thrown against the wall.

"Back to where you came from you Slytherin." Yelled Harry.

I'm not slytherin said the snake. That's s l i t h e r i n.

Oh yea and I'm in house G r y p h o n D o o R too punk. Zzzzzzzzt. The snake was transported back to its ship.

"Why thanks little Harry," Said Pontius. Everything ok with cousin Hagrid? (It turns out Hagrid was another of Dr. Quinn's experiments gone awry) Fine fine. Well on your way. I think that snake won't be buggin us any more.

Meanwhile. Wombat and Bakka were furiously involved in combat. Lunge, Parry. Thrust, Reposte. Finally wombat took his light sabre, did a double flip forward and slashed through one of Bakka's wings. He lay on the ground flopping.

So!!! It appears you lost even in bat form there Bakka. But I'm sure Dr. Quinn will mend you up fine and send you on your way. Minus your ransom fee of course. Unless of course you elect to join the crew. Should you be unable to pay your fee, Dr. Quinn I'm sure has a few useful experiments she might need to perform. Pontius knocks Bakka out and leaves him on the planet below. With bakka he leaves the following note Take the Red Pill, and Free your mind. Take the blue pill, and stay behind.

5 minutes later.

Come sensei, we must find a phonebooth.
Wombat Why what on earth for?
We are still in the Geektrix.
WTF?
The evil empire is nothing more than a tertiary adjunct of the matrix invented by agent Ray :Hot: to convince it's members one thing. that they are out, and they can actually do something. They are mistaken.

Interlude:

Meanwhile in rl.
Keanu tell us how much Mr. "Pontius there has ruined your finances by revealing the suspected twist in the Matrix 3?

"Why it's uncountable... Tears flow...I only ask for 500 million dollars. Is that too much?"

Cross examination. Isn't it true Mr. Reeves that you can't act a lick? And isn't it true that Matrix 3 flopped because you can't act a lick? I remind you you're under oath."

End Interlude, Back to the story.

Back on the doom.
Wombat: So are we out now?
Pontius: But of course.
Wombat: I just have one question? Did you know Rainbird was slitherin? How did you know she'd be a snake.
Pontius: I knew there was a yellow bellied snake in there somewhere, but I didn't know they were one in the same. Nor can we be sure that Rainbird is in fact slitherin now.
Wombat: But sensei, the transmorgifrier revealed...
Pontius: It can only reveal what you are, not who you are, nor can the Geektrix. Soon you will learn as I wombat, there's a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path.
Wombat: But what you're telling me is we still don't know?
Pontius: On the contrary, I am telling you they are different. Not the same. Even in the same person, two different sn's can take on two different personalities. Thus, regardless of whether they are one in the same, or in-laws, they act differently. But both are just as bad, as terrible, as deranged as each other.
Wombat: So what you're saying is this is one of those "There is no spoon" things?
No Wombat: I'm telling you this is a Cybil thing. For now, we'll just call Rainbird and Slitherin Cybil. That will suffice.
Wombat: But what of Bakka?
Pontius: He's already awake by now. He wasn't seriously hurt. I adjusted your light sabre frequency to knock him out at the first blow. You barely winged him. You'd have killed him had I not. If he takes the red pill I left him, His brain wave pattern will turn to this (red skull and crossbones) If not, he will wake up in his bed and believe whatever he wants to believe.



Note: Cybil was a movie here in the states about a multi-personalitied psycho. I don't know if our aussie bretherin will get the reference or not.
Reply #2730 Top
People are going to notice I am going to be a bit scarcer in the near future. I got a big project to finish up over the next couple of weeks, so I got to take one of those lovely working vacations where I isolate myself a bit to get crunching. I'll still be popping in, just nowhere near what folks are used to.
Reply #2731 Top
Good one Cap'n LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

(will wait with bated breath for response from Rainbird/Slitherin :SURPRISED: )
Reply #2734 Top
bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz

;)
Reply #2737 Top
Hey! That implies we're related...no, I don't think so!
End of quote


Rephrase Wombat, You can just call her Cybil


Pontius, I had another slant on 'To Hell and Back'. I can see great minds think alike
End of quote


HEHE post it.


Where is bpleshek lately? And I miss Kit
End of quote


Kit is busy with school. Dunno where bp is... Hope he comes back soon.
Reply #2740 Top
HEHE. Well I got the expansion. It's gr8. Frogboy mentioned that some of the top empires might be put in as minor civs or adjunct. However, most of our names couldn't pass copyright muster.

Perhaps we could think of a good pirate name to submit to him for consideration?
Reply #2744 Top
RuBiT, rUbIt . . . rubit.
End of quote


Huh? :notsure:

Good night everyone...
End of quote



Night John Boy
Reply #2747 Top
Does post #2750 count for anything?

Well, it's three quarters of the way to the next thousand, so this duck says yes.
Reply #2749 Top
Pontius, that was an INDECENT score for a tiny map. I am amazed you had the hutzpah to post it. 21,610 !

Do you know why it is so extreme? From your other Tiny?
Reply #2750 Top
The Boss and Wombat were on their way to Wrigley's pleasure planet. They decided to take the new combat crafts slated for the Pegasus. Each Mongoose attack craft was well equiped for passengers as well. It had been 3 hours since they had departed the defiant. Watch this. Pontius flipped his stick right and did a barrel role. Then he performed an outside loop. These things are great Wombie.... Oh yeah great said mrs Pilot. Now keep this thing level and I might not lose my lunch. Mrs Wombie agreed. Suddenly, they entered a big black cloud.

Remember when I said I'd keep it level dear? Well I fear we won't stay level long.

It was as Pontius feared. It was an evil empire ambush. The Cybil, The Yellow bellied snake in the grass, The Skitzoid, The betrayer, The goofball, and the Maladjusted, antisocial, and Darn Mean were closing in from behind.

"WOMBIE FULL SPEED." Said Pontius. "Head for that planet in Sector 1,2." It's ransom, they'll have a tower there. Once there stay low and fast. We can't out run them. We're just gonna have to outfly em.

Just then a cackle came over the Radio. HAHAHHA I have you now Pontius!!! Oh and sorry my cute Wombat, you're dead too. I see you have the B.... that gave me a biological clock with you too. This will be a pleasure. It's all because of you Quack Rejected me.

Pontius: Oh and here I thought all this time Quack just didn't like transexual snakes when it's really all my fault. What was I thinking?

Rainbird: OOOOOOO you'll pay for that one Pontius..

Wombie: I got three on my tail Pontius. I cant shake em.

Pontius: Just like I showed you. Down to the deck. Low and fast. I'm hit!!! No damage. Wombie time to play a little chicken.

Wombie: I hear that, heading right toward you. Now we're going left right?

Pontius: Right.

The Attack craft move closer.

Wombie: Is that right as in left or right as in right?

Pontius: Oh man now you got me confused lets make up our mind.

The Attack craft move closer. The pursuers have stopped firing so as not to get caught in each other's crossfire.

Wombie: Right

Pontius. Is that right as in right or right as in you'll make up your mind?

Wombat WE'RE GOING RIGHT

Pontius: Righty tighty!!! Both bank right just missing by inches, 4 of the 6 pursuers crash.

Pontius: You still there Cybil or did we get you with that one? How'd you like that baby. We're gonna lay out you and all your friends right beside em.

Rainbird. Curse you Pontius. We still have two right on your tail.

Wham!!!! Pontius felt the weapons hit his upper engine.

Pontius "after we destroyed that Anzac ship you hate, you think you'd have a little gratitude wouldn't you Cybil?"

"Wombie to tower, get some guns up there and fast. Pontius is running right by your local over."

Pontius: Come on Cybil, don't stop now babes.. Bring it on. Bring it on.

Pontius led them right by the tower. Wham!!! Another one gone.

"You still there Cybil? It's just you and me now." And the Mongoose always beats the snake.

But only silence remained. But just as the remaining pursuer warped out, Pontius read its name plate. It was indeed the Cybil. She/He/it had survived and headed for Anzac space.

Wombat. Intel has her headed back to be a member of Anzac.

Pontius: Bluesteel would be a fool to trust her. She has been in the evil empire. Oh well, it's his problem. And that Ogre wife of his will keep him in line.


Later, on wrigley's pleasure planet a best of Ask Dr. Pontius was airing.

Trixie the Ogre was on the show.

It's Bluesteel Dr. Pontius. He's well not quite got time for me... It's almost as if he's compensating for something. . .

Pontius turned off the show.

Wombat: "So Blue's having trouble keeping up with the Ogre? Laughter erupts.

Pontius: Yeah seems she's really roughing him up. (more raccous laughter) You know life would be dull without the transmorgifrier wouldn't it Wombie?

Wombie: You said it boss. How come you've never tried it on yourself?

Pontius: Who says I haven't? (Big Evil Grin)

Wombie shuddered at this and decided to drop the subject. After all, he was here to relax.

Just then the wives showed up wanting to go sight seeing.

"Say what are those statues at your feet?

They then hid the horgons, which were indicators you wanted to be pleasured by members of the opposite sex.

"Oh these dears. Well there just some wood carvings someone put here for good luck We'll take em home as souveneers."