Captain Jack Sparrow Captain Jack Sparrow

G.R.O.S.S. communication thread.

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G.R.O.S.S. communication thread.

from Stardock Forums
Cringe in fear do gooders. The G.R.O.S.S. (Get Rid Of Slimy alienS) empire is now formed. In less than an hour we have jumped 95 other Pacifist Doo Gooder victim empires and lept into 40th out of 135 ranked.

We are an evil empire bent on controlling everything and showing all the other empires out there who's boss. US. Are you listening Euro-"Oh lets let everyone be a senator and give em a vote doo gooder democracy alliance?" We come for you.

For a limited time, (untill I decide otherwise) 5 Pure Evil games, (or just impressing me with your game evilness) submitted will get you a Senatorship. Later, being the evil empire pyramid scheme we are, it will take 10. Of course, being the evil empire we are, that gives you no benefits, no pay, but all the alien carnage you crave most.

Now we do realize that sometimes, you just have to fake being good. You sometimes just have to infiltrate that pacifist party. We understand. But we aren't a kinder gentler empire and don't let their pacifism go to your head. And just sometimes, you gotta let the Aliens live (where else would you find slaves for the heavy metal lava mines?)

In the future, we shall update each other in the empire via this thread, brag of our conquests, drink blood wine, and generally just poke fun (creatively and humorously) at those players whom we find to be too goody goodyish.

Our mottos.

G.R.O.S.S. Where being good is merely a temporary strategy.

Just win baby.

Here's your ration of skin you do gooder wimp Drengin slime. Now get back to work

EBZeroMatrix you have been made a senator.

I repeat. Cringe in fear, we come for you.





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Reply #1051 from Stardock Forums Top
Gerakken doing his best Jet Li impression as he somersaults backwards over a couch.
End of quote


Darn right! Besides, I probably knew they were coming before they did. Being the Spymaster has its advantages.

I have a worse fate for the owners of those bananas. We must counter them with an American secret weapon so dastardly that it cannot be withstood: The Banana Splits Show! Bonus points if someone slips the theme song of that show onto the ANZAC command ship. Once that song is in your head, it will not leave!
Reply #1052 from Stardock Forums Top
Na-na-na---na-na-na-na---na-na one banana, two banana, three banana, four...OH NO...AARRRGGGHHHH!!!!
Siege of Centauri
Reply #1053 from Stardock Forums Top

Wombat:
B1: "Are you thinking what I'm thinking, B2?"
B2: "Yeah. Waste 'em."


Uh you got this part wrong.

It should have read.
B1: Are you thinking what I'm thinking B2?
B2: I believe I am B1.
Both: It's waste em time!!!!

It's too bad you hired our spy bananas instead of the real ones.

Meanwhile, in the bowels of the aussie flagship, the garbage scow waltzing matilda, the real bananas in pajama's are undertaking a secret mission.


Comeon Teddies, lets just link their com system into this phonograh here.

Psst B2 are you thinking what I'm thinking?
I believe I am b1
It's plant the G.R.O.S.S. recording of the banana splits show time!!!

It's a good thing G.R.O.S.S. gave us all that yellow jelly and honeycakes. Unlike those cheap aussies that tried to give us kangaroo meat.

Na-na-na---na-na-na-na---na-na one banana, two banana, three banana, four ...OH NO...AARRRGGGHHHH!!!!


Oh the Aussie humanity.



Reply #1054 from Stardock Forums Top
Later, at the white council tower. The wizards are sitting in a circle, high on the halfling's leaf as usual.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking b1?
I believe I am B2.
It's steal the sacramental wine time.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking b1
I believe I am B2
It's get this stuff back to the survey ship of doom time.
The Banana's are almost off the wizard's grounds

Suddenly Booom!!!!! Oh the banana's have been turned to yellow jelly, one of em was booby trapped.

Uh are you thinking what I'm thinking B2
I believe I am B1
It's get your damn hand out of my splean time.
No it isn't. It's get your head out of my anus time!!
No. It's get your dang intestine off the floor and put it back where it belongs time.
No. It's pull my nose out of my epiglotis time.

The Teddies: No it isn't. It's finally the teddies take what's left of the wine time and throw off our banana oppressors!!! We planted the bomb you schmucks.(whistle) The wizards will soon discover your mangled bodies and use you as banana splits. While we will return this sacramental wine to G.R.O.S.S.

And so it ends for the banana's in pajamas, just as Ray predicted. But the Teddies return to G.R.O.S.S. Another successful booze raid complete.

Meanwhile, back at the tower. MMMM banana splits. Suddenly, yet another G.R.O.S.S. trick, the teddies have left a surprise for our wizard friends.

Na-na-na---na-na-na-na---na-na one banana, two banana, three banana, four ...OH NO...AARRRGGGHHHH!!!!







Reply #1055 from Stardock Forums Top
Back at the Survey ship of doom.
Pontius: Well done oh spymaster Gerakkin. Well done indeed. Say uh Teddies: Here's your payment in full. What happened to those banana's.

Teddies: Oh they had to split. Just give their share to us, we'll take care of it.

Sure thing. Take all the honeycakes and yellow jelly you want.

Reply #1056 from Stardock Forums Top
Say uh Gerakkin: Do we still have all those recordings of H.R. Puffinstuff and all those other Sid and Marty Kroft saturday kid shows? Perhaps our Aussie friends would like more torture eh?

That is when the Barney Carnage wears off.
Reply #1057 from Stardock Forums Top
Do we still have all those recordings of H.R. Puffinstuff and all those other Sid and Marty Kroft saturday kid shows?
End of quote


Gerakken once again suits up to carefully sorts through the hazardous storage bin. In the last trip, getting the Banana Splits Show almost caused an accidental musical infection. This time the boss wanted even more dastardly American children's shows to prove to those ANZACs who has the real mojo, the folks who invented network television or the imitators that came later.

The cargo was being slowly transferred into the secure carrying case. Each step was a labor in itself. Everything had to be checked and rechecked. The gloves on Gerakken's suit were getting too warm. Sirens started blaring, red strobe lights flashing. One of the shows was unstable! Gerakken briefly panicked, momentarily imagining the horrible damage that an uncontrolled release could do to his own crew. After composing himself again, Gerakken slammed the bin shut and safely locked the carrying case.

He gets on the comm channel to the bridge: "I got the HR Puff-n-Stuff and that is what matters. There is an unstable show inside the hazardous storage bin that needs to be looked at. I don't know which one it is. I just sealed the bin as soon as I heard the warnings. Time to call the waste crew to safely contain or dispose of the problem show still inside the bin. I am reporting to sick bay to make sure I am alright. Gerakken out."
Reply #1058 from Stardock Forums Top
Pontius decides to rid the ship of this hazardous waste himself.

TRAVELING ALONG THERE'S A SONG THAT WE'RE SINGING, CMON GET HAPPY....

OH CHIT NOT THAT ONE!!! (Places com badge on Partridge family box) TRANSPORTER ROOM LOCK ON TO MY COM BADGE, BEAM ME TO that MWC dreadnought off the starboard stern. Captain Pontius heads off to sickbay knowing that one more second could have been the end.


Meanwhile on the MWC ship.


Noooooooo!!! Not David Cassidy... Nooooooooooo You G.R.O.S.S. fiends will pay for this!!!! Ahhhhhhhhh make it stop make it stoppppppppppp.....

The European ships close in on the hapless Dreadnought, but are caught up in the broadcast.

"OOOOOO you have David Cassidy. Please play more!!!!!!!"
Reply #1059 from Stardock Forums Top
Those pesky Canadians. I figured they might be saving their games to submit on Canada Day. HEHE. Now that truly is evil. Almost worthy of us.

Wonder if the middies are saving their's for July 4.

Tis OK. We've been #1 all that time while they've been saving em.
Reply #1060 from Stardock Forums Top
Phew. We survived the Canadian Onslaught for now. How long we can hold out remains to be seen. Oh well. No matter, there will be tons of plundering to do anyway.

The MWC just doesn't get it. They claim to be The Good empire all the while allowing evil in their midst. We suffer no such hypocrisy. We evil pirates don't care about tactics.
Reply #1061 from Stardock Forums Top
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA.. Seems another empire wishes to be owned. The Republic just declared war on lil ole us.....It's the attack of the geek clones....OHHH NO!!!!!.
Reply #1063 from Stardock Forums Top
Keep talking my Central Intelligence agents are tracking each and every one of you, your decrepit pirate encripting technology is useless!
hmm, one moment.. [entering hold mode]

==|> G.R.O.S.S. quikcrakr 4.0 loaded
***##Cracking Communications System##***
-Sucessful-
"Juphust Refeeeeeed Thwis frum intelligencee, Sir"
"Letsss mee see it!"
...
"Sector 25A and 76F... USS Galileio reports ______"
-Signal Interfearance, attempting to clear-"phrequefts reenfoersssements inmedeedeatee, Corpuuural dispatch a blockqwuade, Vi dont want wenny thing to get vroo. And sphend ve phuper phapital phip______________________________

-signal lost-
<|== quikcrakr 4.0 unloaded

[exiting hold mode]

I have a very important meeting so I must end our conversation, goodbye.
Reply #1064 from Stardock Forums Top
Gerrakin. Activate that lil present we left behind in their flagship.

"Here's the story of a man named Brady."


AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOO ABANDON SHIP ABANDON SHIP.

The entire republic fleet officer corps flees their ships for their lives at the sound of yet another 70's tv show theme.


War over. The G.R.O.S.S. empire triumph's again. Now go exterminate the Galactic spiders. You aren't ready for us.




Reply #1065 from Stardock Forums Top
This is such a tough, tough choice. Cut them loose because they are too little, or play with them a bit? Well, I'll raid their beer as much as anyone else's if they really want to play. :)
Reply #1067 from Stardock Forums Top
As i said in another thread: Sometimes it is better for someone to know his fate in order to make him suffer more. Looks like I will have to squeeze some more gaming time out of other things in order to throw some fire support in.
Reply #1068 from Stardock Forums Top
Heh, even better Gerrrrrrrrrakin.

I am off thursday, friday, saturday, and even sunday....heh, guess what that means?
Reply #1070 from Stardock Forums Top
Banana goo, talking teddies, and C-eh-N-eh-D-eh? A fella's gotta be on his toes to walk these decks.

My incremental approach is paying off nicely as far as strategies for GalCiv, but I've hit a snag. Seems the gear I brought with me don't take kindly to the larger maps. I'm gonna have to knock this tech-no-logic-at-all junk around. Maybe undo some Evil curses too. Hmmm...

Well I done got meself five victories and I'm feelin' super Evil! I'm a little peeved about that last one showin' up as merely chaotic. How many squids 'n bugs does a bloke gotta slaughta to be counted as a true sicko? :p

One more thing before I hit the sack - AAARRRGGGHHHhhh
Reply #1071 from Stardock Forums Top
Well I done got meself five victories and I'm feelin' super Evil! I'm a little peeved about that last one showin' up as merely chaotic. How many squids 'n bugs does a bloke gotta slaughta to be counted as a true sicko?

Actually none. You can be a true sicko by this games standards merely by slaughtering non-sentient worms on your planets, squashing both sides in bug wars. I mean really. What do you do with bugs. You exterminate them.

Welcome aboard Kit. A fine addition to the Survey ship of doom crew. And the measly lil Republic has declared war on us. LMAO guess they'll send Yoda, the equivalent of the killer rabbit in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Bwahahahahahahhahha.
Reply #1072 from Stardock Forums Top
The MWC hasn't submitted much lately. They are probably planninga mass submission on the 4th. Then again the pesky Canadians beat em to the idea!!!!!!!
We'll just keep a pluggin away at it no matter.
Reply #1073 from Stardock Forums Top
On the survey ship of Doom:

Sixtoes: "Pontius, sir. I've submitted yet another victory, but..."

Pontius: "But *what*, evil underling?"

Sixtoes: "It was a truly small sector of space, and I routed those Slimy alienS so quickly that I wasn't presented with enough opportunities to slaughter non-sentient worms, squash bugs and remind my people that they are, in fact, a RENEWABLE resource. Ummm... in fact... the powers-that-be determined that I was merely *NEUTRAL* in my morality. I therefore submit to your righteous discipline and will gladly perform any penance you suggest."

Pontius: "Hmmm... does the latrine need cleaning, Gerakken?"

Sixtoes: [looks around nervously... sweating]

Gerakken: "No, sir - and those blasted bananas are no longer a threat. I recommend that Fleet Captain Sixtoes be..."

Pontius: "Sent back to a slightly larger sector (Medium) where he's already proven himself quite capable. He should have PLENTY of opportunity to prove his evil nature once again. Good choice, Gerakken... You heard the man, Sixtoes - get your 'neutral' butt out there and dominate (especially if you see any Canadians or MWC). You've got a day off for the holiday, don't you?"

Sixtoes: "You don't GIVE days off, sir, remember? That's alright - I've got one coming to me... I'll report back when I've crushed them once again."

(edited to fix one typo - I'm crazy that way.)
[Message Edited]
Reply #1074 from Stardock Forums Top
The MWC hasn't submitted much lately
End of quote


Just because MWC seems to mean Middle Weight Champion these days, judging on how they have settled down to #5, doesn't mean we can count them out. Don't underestimate them.

But we're bigger than heavyweight, we're GROSS, a weight class all our own. Everyone wants a piece of us and we cannot disappoint them, can we? We got a Canadian ghost ship and a European Armada to hold at bay.
Reply #1075 from Stardock Forums Top
Sixtoes: "You don't GIVE days off, sir, remember? That's alright - I've got one coming to me... I'll report back when I've crushed them once again."

Oh thanks for reminding me. Gotta keep up the evil image. Can't have other empires thinking me good now can we. How bout we broadcast a loud GET BACK TO WORK SIXTOES on all frequencies to convince em of our evilness? Meanwhile, enjoy your day off.

P.S. The Goody goody G.R.O.S.S. punching bag of the week is none other than the emperor pontius who made the top 25 on the goody goody board. So I could hardly say anything about your neutrality. Especially since I am #1 on the neutral board. HEHE.