Captain Jack Sparrow Captain Jack Sparrow

G.R.O.S.S. communication thread.

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G.R.O.S.S. communication thread.

from Stardock Forums
Cringe in fear do gooders. The G.R.O.S.S. (Get Rid Of Slimy alienS) empire is now formed. In less than an hour we have jumped 95 other Pacifist Doo Gooder victim empires and lept into 40th out of 135 ranked.

We are an evil empire bent on controlling everything and showing all the other empires out there who's boss. US. Are you listening Euro-"Oh lets let everyone be a senator and give em a vote doo gooder democracy alliance?" We come for you.

For a limited time, (untill I decide otherwise) 5 Pure Evil games, (or just impressing me with your game evilness) submitted will get you a Senatorship. Later, being the evil empire pyramid scheme we are, it will take 10. Of course, being the evil empire we are, that gives you no benefits, no pay, but all the alien carnage you crave most.

Now we do realize that sometimes, you just have to fake being good. You sometimes just have to infiltrate that pacifist party. We understand. But we aren't a kinder gentler empire and don't let their pacifism go to your head. And just sometimes, you gotta let the Aliens live (where else would you find slaves for the heavy metal lava mines?)

In the future, we shall update each other in the empire via this thread, brag of our conquests, drink blood wine, and generally just poke fun (creatively and humorously) at those players whom we find to be too goody goodyish.

Our mottos.

G.R.O.S.S. Where being good is merely a temporary strategy.

Just win baby.

Here's your ration of skin you do gooder wimp Drengin slime. Now get back to work

EBZeroMatrix you have been made a senator.

I repeat. Cringe in fear, we come for you.





100,911 views 3,706 replies
Reply #2651 from Stardock Forums Top
EBZ, good to see you again!

Hope you're coming back...
Reply #2652 from Stardock Forums Top
Killa - my story was disturbing? Well, we are pirates, and that's the nicest piracy I could think of. Hell, they didn't even make anyone walk the plank. Lots of pirate crews would just kill everyone to get rid of witnesses. But when you're as strong as GROSS is, you don't worry about witnesses...
End of quote


We have made several walk the plank. However, it was complained to be in our meta stories as "Generic" We promptly made him walk the plank in our next story. Besides, Keelhauling is more torturous and fun. Especially when sailing over shallows and a coral reef.
Sins of a Solar Empire: Rebellion
Reply #2653 from Stardock Forums Top
Do people still talk about the GCCG? Hell yeah, I'm thinking of a way to work the ancient artifact known as The Crank into my next pirate story!


We have made several walk the plank. However, it was complained to be in our meta stories as "Generic" We promptly made him walk the plank in our next story. Besides, Keelhauling is more torturous and fun. Especially when sailing over shallows and a coral reef.
End of quote


Ah, the ancient dragon of evil that is GROSS rears its ugly head. Yep, we've still got it.

Of course, the problem is, people who just want to be evil for the sake of evil might go off and join the evil empire, so I felt it was important to not only show some callous violence, but also show the warm and fuzzy side of a pirate's outlook on life. This is especially appropriate, considering how many of the posse are, in fact, warm and fuzzy animals.

Hehe, I'll make a Director's Cut of my stories with extra comments :-p
Reply #2654 from Stardock Forums Top
Just paid my taxes and noticed 12 GROSS members in the EVIL Top 25. We should rename that the Galactic Most Wanted List.

Great to see Jaws is back from his vacation. I got 3 weeks left until mine... still debated whether or not to take Ashlyn or leave her with the POSSE (and my in-laws).

EBZ- Thanks for popping in! Looks like you're become the admiral of the crank if you spend another 20 minutes for a new game....


Cheers,
Cypher
Reply #2656 from Stardock Forums Top
Just paid my taxes and noticed 12 GROSS members in the EVIL Top 25.
End of quote


Your not doing too badly yourself on the main board, Cypher. A few more games and we will find you on the front page. :)
Reply #2657 from Stardock Forums Top
AND NOW, YOUR EVIL TOP 25 DOMINATION TEAM... THE G.R.O.S.S. Pirates. Forget that sissy wannabe evil empire. We dominate.

1. EBZeroMatrix
3. Staffa
4. Wild Wombat
5. Jaws
9. Pontius
11. Killa Koala
14. Kit Warrior
15. Stealth Frequency
19. Cypher Pax
20. Ice Mole
21. Landrew
24. Sixtoes.
Reply #2658 from Stardock Forums Top
Exalted Spymaster Gerakken,

Thanks for the encouragement. It seems like my slow but steady approach is working. I'm hoping to get to the main page, but many of people ahead of me are still playing, so my immediate goal is a conquest of the medium boards. Granted this is a modest goal since no one is particularly interested in the medium boards. But this drop bear knows the roles of drop bears, we're simply grunts in the bigger war.

I keep asking myself why I couldn't have been a glamourous animal like a shark, a pengiun, a wombat, a koala, or even a purple duck... but being the lowly grunt in GROSS POSSE is still a grand accomplishment.

Cheers,

Cypher

[Message Edited]
Reply #2659 from Stardock Forums Top
EVIL TOP 25 DOMINATION TEAM
End of quote


:CONGRAT: :CONGRAT:

(Some of us are nice pirates though - :notsure: )
Reply #2660 from Stardock Forums Top
Hmmm....people still talk about the GCCG and me
End of quote


Yeah, but dont read ALL the comments... ;) Great to hear from you and COME BACK SOON!

Cypher - how can a bundy drop bear NOT be glamorous? LOL
Reply #2662 from Stardock Forums Top
Jaws was heading back toward the Doom when he came upon a black box. In it was a notice encoded.

Your mission should you chose to accept it is to escort ambassador Pussy Galore Back to her home planet Suboceana. As you know Jaws, she is a shark from the order of Shark nymphs. Only one thing will satisfy her. And your job is to bring her back satisfied. This message will self destruct in 5 seconds.

OH BOY!!! NOW THAT'S MY KIND OF MISSION!!!! Said Jaws. Boom!!! OOps, now I have to shower thought Jaws. And he set about it at once.
Reply #2664 from Stardock Forums Top
Silhoutted naked woman swimming fades to


Dah dah dah dah, dah dah dah

The shark in the tuxedo is sitting at the gaming table across from the man with a white fluffy cat on his lap… The stunning female croupier leans over to retrieve the dice..

“Tiffany my dear, we’re showing a bit more cheek than usual aren’t we?” says Blofeld

he looks at the shark

“Such nice cheeks too – if only they were brains.”

The shark looks at the croupier and she seems to melt “your roll Mr ..?”

“Jaws”
“Oh bollocks, its just Jaws”

“So Blofeld single roll? Winner takes the spoils”

“Indeed Mr Jaws” is the languid reply

Blofeld nods to a guard and the sound of door locking can be heard. Jaws coolly swaps the dice for a set that “Q” supplied and rolls them.

“Snake’s eyes” says Blofeld

“Oh you can be so hurtful at times” replies Jaws, and gets up from his chair at the same time pressing a switch on his watch that explodes the dice giving him just enough time to dive through the window of the gaming room and into the waiting shuttle outside.

“CypherPax dear boy, how good of Pontius to send you”

“Now worries mate” said Cypher “I was in the area and Pontius told me to drop by.. want A Bundy”

“Shaken not stirred” replied Jaws automatically

“Anyway” said Cypher “I’m to deliver you to Pussy Galore’s suite apparently you are to escort back to her home planet”

“Indeed I am” mused Jaws “shouldn’t be too much of a problem handling Pussy until I get her back to Suboceana”

“Yeah well mate, there’s been a slight change of plan” said Cypher nervously

“And what’s that”

“She wants to go shopping”

"Where's the problem with that"

"she wants to go to Skowbo II"

dah dah dah dah, dah dah dah …………
Reply #2666 from Stardock Forums Top
Hehe, copy-paste that one back to our thread, why dontcha? This plot fits in perfectly with everything else going on there LOL LOL
Reply #2668 from Stardock Forums Top
Oh, I forgot to mention something -

Cypher: mate, your photo is on every bottle of Bundaberg Rum sold here. And 1 out of every 10 bottles of spirits sold in Australia is a Bundy (if you believe their webpage). You've got TV ads, corporate sponsorship... you're more famous than all of us put together. The only competition you've got as a cultural icon is Fatso The Fat-Arsed Wombat - The Battler's Prince! :)

[Message Edited]
Reply #2669 from Stardock Forums Top
Some of us are nice pirates though -
End of quote


But even the nicer ones who prefer less violent methods of persuasion do have their uses. :) Personally, I just love the tough evil crowd all around. They are great cover. There can be no goody-goody conspiracy without evil. Hey, it looks like neutrals have a purpose too with that reasoning. GROSS, not only large, but a place where power and influence takes on many forms. :HOT:
Reply #2670 from Stardock Forums Top
I'm closing on the top 25 evil at #33.

B
Reply #2671 from Stardock Forums Top
Bloody heck. This thread exploded.

Hurls: you've read all the books. I was a huge fan of Heinlein until he became senile. I was gonna plagiarise Shakespeare and pretend I wrote it, but that wouldn't work on this thread. Maybe on our rivals thread...

Maso small can be beaten, and I am no Ray. I can't handle gigantic maso though. I actually start with 50% diplomacy, and then purchase Diplomatic Translators with my techs from whoever builds it (hopefully a minor race)!

It goes a lot easier if the aliens have fewer star systems and/or planets. Too many and they get too strong too quickly. I tech whore to stay up with the aliens (so I even research unpopular techs so that I can trade for 4-5 different popular techs using just 1 tech). I then prepare to alpha strike the juiciest target, which may be the minor races (don't wait too long otherwise the aliens take them over!). I don't usually go to war until frigates are on line, or even until combat transports.

Strangely, I just build everything. I find the economy balances UNLESS 2 or more trading partners suddenly declare war and trade disappears. Before I alpha strike a civ I make sure I divert trade to other civs.

As soon as a new civ appears in the end game, I immediately declare war on it through the diplomacy screen (ie trade the war declaration to a major civ to get an increase in diplomacy with the major civ). I can then offer peace to the minor and demand reparations of their entire surplus for 50 months. Even if they get snuffed out, you still get the monthly payments.

Building military does increase one's score significantly. I found that out in an earlier game.

Quack: one can resubmit games ONCE. So you can submit under 1.05 and then keep the last personal save, and re-submit under 1.09.

Note: I haven't read some of the other tactics threads so I may have repeated old tactics here.

Reply #2672 from Stardock Forums Top
The Book of GROSS, page 108: The war with the Ring worshippers wore on, and both sides had dug in for a siege. The wily pirates took stock of both their character and tactics, essential prerequisites before planning a counteroffensive that would break the near stalemate conditions at the top of the Meta.
Reply #2673 from Stardock Forums Top
Poor zilla is starving. I'll see if I can get a ring worshiper to feed him. But for now, this'll have to do.

B
Reply #2674 from Stardock Forums Top
Threadzilla is female bp.



The Midwesterners thought they had their schools back under control. All references to pirates had been deleted. Everything was fine in cornbread land untill Idle bought little Idle a shortwave subspace radio.


Lil Idle: "this is Hard Harry broadcasting Pirates of the Carribean on mm 93 reminding you to eat your cereal with a fork, and wear your pirate shirts to class.
Reply #2675 from Stardock Forums Top
No wonder SHE used to nip at me when I patted her head and said good boy. And here I was thinking she just wanted more hobbits for breakfast.

B