Banned for Brain being neither scout nor dog. 

Banned because that nekkid brain could easily be from a genemod dog, and the hardware sensorium could be damned good at tracking.

banned for redneck pontification

banned for using a word I don't know

banned for admitting your ignorance

banned for remaining ignorant

Banned for bliss.

banned for

banned for telling the brain it's beef.

banned for chicken

banned for pork

Banned because you damned well know they ain't no setch thing as redneck papists. 

banned for looking at the wrong definition

Banned because deadpan humour is dayumed hard to git acrost on these new-fangled inter-tubes.

banned for deadpanning

banned for too beautiful a profile picture

banned for looking like you are yelling

Banned for looking like you are exploding.

banned by the exploding gas

banned for that must make for some long nights for your poor wife.

Banned because you look pretty gassy yourself. Large masses of stable, backlit gas seem like more of a threat to a bedmate than one big explosion.

Banned for Monday maintenance. 

Banned for Everything Else, especially because it seems to be Everywhere.

banned for yes, teh day of the week seems to matter little when it comes to shit arising.

Banned for not noticing that Off-topic has become Everything Else and is available at Elemental after a long absence.

Or, banned for stepping down into the solid stuff when we were on a gassy path. Shit arising? That sounds like a fringe faction of the Occupy Wall Street crowd.