"Those had to be some of the lamest movies ever. The first one was passable in a check your brain at the door sort of way. The rest were lame even by that standard."

That's why I said "eww"

Now, let's get back on topic, to alcohol-related fatalities.

After a brief refit, the Doom is back in action. I don't know how the upgraded engines are going to perform under extremes, but the chase is on again. You can join our crew, another empire, or no side at all, just have fun whatever you do. But the free-spirited pirates of GROSS will sail from star to star, like islands in the vast sea of space, looking for our next target to plunder.

The MWC, complacent and sure they'd lost the survey ship of doom lowers their shields. They also fail to see the little shuttlecraft approaching off their starboard stern from that asteroid field.

NOW GERAKKIN NOW FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EEEEEEEEEEKABOOOOOOOOOOOOOM. Direct hit to the bridge. Direct hit to the engines. the entire crew flies through the air as the force of the phaser blast cuts through their unshielded ships The MWC flagship is adrift allowing the two daring heroes free access to the hold.

No Gunner not the Strohs!!! Not the Pabst!!! Get the Michelob. The Michelob!!! Now get all those microbrews. Yeah that's it. Woooohoooooo. And the shuttlecraft runs back to the Survey ship of doom laden with Beer. The Rest of the G.R.O.S.S. ers wave as the survey ship of doom cruises past.


Beer for all!!!!! Arrrrgh mateys. Yet another successful beer raid!!!!!!! Drink up.

Fortunately for the MWC, there's a crew sitting in a silo who just got their orders...



idle

~SDC~

Fortunately for the MWC, there's a crew sitting in a silo who just got their orders...


We beamed your Oly, Schafer, and White Cans with Beer written on the side of the can right down to em for ya. Twas the least we could do seeing as we took all the good stuff. Said it was from MWC top brass. They were shouting things like "HOW DARE THEY SEND US THIS CHEAP SHEET." "I'm not going on a dumb mission for Stroh's." "Where's the Mich?" as we cruised out of range.

The space scanner display looks awfully crowded these days. Not only are there a handful of armadas and quite a few smaller battle fleets massing in their assembly areas, but then there are those single small ships zipping wildly through the space lanes, seemingly paying no heed to pre-existing traffic.

Sailing through this mess of cosmic confusion is the Doom, once a small survey ship, but now a behemoth. Countless anomolies and scores of battles later, along with a lot of welding, have turned this once small craft into something even capital ships dread. Proudly beaming out its identity signal, the electronic Jolly Roger lets fleet and loner alike know that the Doom and the pirates of GROSS are coming.

So join our crew, hide with the other fleets, or just stay out of the way. Whatever the choice may be, have fun doing it.

Dear Most Always Yearning Havoc Elite Members of G.R.O.S.S. (or is it GROSS MAYHEM?),

I am seeking a position in your Evil Empire so that I may further the cause of Evil. To such ends, I humbly request a brief summary of your Evil Empire's status. Specifically, I am interested in your most recent short/long term projects and goals, relations with other major powers, and approximate stock of alcoholic refreshments. I do recognize the suspicious nature of my request, but I assure you this not a do-gooder's attempt to infiltrate. This is only a request for general, unclassified information. Also, my brief record should provide you with a moderate degree of assurance.

As for my motivations, I have come from the MOO3 debacle with a seething rage in my heart and malevolence coursing through my veins. I must do EVIL and banish good from existence! However, my services are not free. Nor am I a mercenary who simply works for the highest bidder. I have to be convinced that my dirty deeds will provide their full potential towards the ultimate goal of Evil's triumph! (although cases of beer are a close substitute) My question is, in short, is your empire Evil enough?

Kit:

There really is no good or evil in this game. Only power. He who has it, wins. We see the aliens for what they truly are. Slugs to be salted. Go for all the alien carnage you can muster. But in the end, any victory is better than any defeat.
From my perspective your choices are only two. Join G.R.O.S.S or be G.R.O.S.S. roadkill.

Anyone who hates moo is fine by me.

So follow the trail of dead aliens and Just win baby. We have plenty of booze in the hold courtesy of all the other empires of course.

We sure are. Take any top 10 empire and break it down by alignment. From the GROSS members who have a score on record (28 to be exact), the breakdown is as follows:

Very good: 0
Chaotic good: 4
Neutral: 7
Chaotic evil: 16
Very evil: 1

That is a whopping 60.7% EVIL. I dare you to find such evilness in a top 10 empire.

But, I would urge one to look past Galciv game alignment, as it has its fatal flaws. A pure good player can use a terror star to nuke planets to oblivion or engage in countless unjustified wars and that is not evil. Whacking a few worms seems to be far more evil than annihilations at a diplomatic whim that cost billions of alien lives.

Over at GROSS, power and domination come first. We come first. And we get by in a game any which way we can, while having fun doing it, of course. So negotiate, beg, borrow, steal, conquer, assimilate. Just come out ahead in the end. If they ain't GROSS it don't matter, because we are not just big, we are GROSS.

Who said anything about game alignments?

About MOO, this is an extremely touchy issue with me. I still worship the original MOO as an icon of Evil. I make sacrifices to its alter on a regular basis. The Mrrshan continue to dutifully serve as my honor guard of Evil. Notice how they have been DIShonored in MOO3. Burn burn burn BURN BURN!!!

I have to go on a trip to attend my nephew's first birthday party. When I return I'm going to build up a little more experience with GalCiv and the Metaverse. I'll be in touch.

Gunner: Suspect this may be Space Gypsy reincarnated pulling our chain.

Why do I always get this? :notsure: Last time someone said I must be Yog Sloth. Sure, add more fuel to the fire. It's all good! ...if it's burning!

So what you're saying kit is you're an entirely new chain yanker?

Right. Wait... no! There are things I like to yank, but not chains. Well sometimes I do, but only in a sarcastic way. Which means I do yank chains from time to time. Except that when I do, I'm only kidding around, not being malicious. This time I was serious. Serious about my intent that is. I was still joking around some. Um... now I can’t even figure out what I’m trying to say.

Oh now I remember. I wanna join an empire and I’m trying to get a feel for the vibe of G.R.O.S.S. That’s all.

G.R.O.S.S. is the rootinest Tootinest empire of swashbucklers in the metaverse. Your play strategy is up to you. There is no good or evil in this game, only power. We aren't afraid to use it. Just win baby is our creed. That means some call us evil. So be it. They are just as evil. They, however, won't admit it. After we win, we shall be writing the history anyway so what they say is irrelevant anyway.

There are other empires that call us "Not evil enough" If that is your opinion, you're free to join one of them. They are all on page 6 and lower on the leaderboard of the metaverse and are also irrelevant. They'll be on the to squash list soon enough.

As to our relations with other empires.

Anzac and the white council like us. Guess they have finally learned their place.

The MWC thinks we are the biggest threat to the Universe (Even worse than the Drengin) Those Alien lovers don't know their place. And probably never will.

The fading Apolyton's and Euro's don't like us much and the lil Republic isn't big enough to care about yet.

The Canadians are never around here much to really get a bead on how they think on anything.

And the spiders well who can really know what a spider thinks.

That’s almost exactly what I was thinking. To communicate with the labels “good” or “evil”, an interstellar society must first arrive at a common definition. At a basic level, when we call an empire good, we wish to convey the idea that said empire minimizes the loss of life while promoting happiness. A more developed and farsighted idea is that said empire increases the number of lives experiencing joy while decreasing the number of lives experiencing dismay. This is equivalent to striving for efficiency in an economy of happiness. The greatest long run gains may require sacrifices (i.e. waxing a system or toasting a devious rival empire).

But what makes that other empire “evil”? Naturally, it would be the opposite. It decreases the number of lives experiencing joy while increasing the number of lives experiencing dismay. And yet we do not live in a static galaxy. Time passes and situations change. The economy of happiness must be taken in this context.

Some “good” empires seek to preserve the “natural” balance of the universe. Essentially they try to maintain a certain integrity that they believe is supported through diversity. To such ends they purposely blockade expansion through military, economic, and technological might. Their own citizens constantly strive to stay ahead of the other empires in order to maintain the galactic vise, yet their struggles are impeded by their own imperial masters. Citizens of the other empires are caught in a permanent state of inferiority. No matter how hard they try, their offspring will always be trapped. This “achievement” is called “peace”.

“Evil” empires expand until all is consumed. Nothing interferes with the ultimate goal of eliminating all threats. The citizens of these empires, no matter how many generations it takes, eventually reach a point when they can put down their unstable plasma drills and take off those heavy neurohelmets. They no longer live in fear because there are simply no more enemies. This “horrible” deed is called “atrocity”. And what about the citizens of the vanquished empires you ask. They have truly been blessed. They have served their purpose of providing the path to the “end of war”. Having delivered this great gift, they pass on to the state where there is no suffering. They do not exist.

Let’s go back to peace. What is it? Does the galaxy have peace when citizens are suffering in vain generation after generation? No? Then why are do-gooder empires called “good”? Does the galaxy have peace when citizens live without fear? Yes? Then why are bad empires called “evil”? THIS is the atrocity!

(N.B. Sometimes my conscience nags me so... YOUNG PLAYERS, don’t take me seriously. I’m only role-playing.)

And you gained this impression where, exactly? Our place as Masters of the Southern Hemisphere we claim by divine right...we shall uphold goodness in the Metaverse. Even those who have fallen for from grace shall be assimilated....

Oh and I suppose divine right also allowed us to trash your flagship the Garbage Scow Waltzing Matilda and take all your good booze as our own?

We will allow you to claim ownership of the Southern Hemisphere. Just have that Booze ready and in your hold when we want it or we be makin ye walk ye plank. Arrrrgh Matey.

Oh I see. Now Evil players are those who have fallen from grace. We’re tossing in Biblical undertones are we? Here me brother overlords! Let not the righteous words of the sheep molesters deceive you. Some will claim that, as a servant of Evil, I may attempt to fool you by speaking from holy texts. But this works both ways! The do-gooders have already been fooled! Their perception of realty has been completely infected. They have been “assimilated”! Evil overlords, march on with our immortal quest! We shall triumph and pee down into good’s grave!

Hey Space Wombat, even I get tired of the sheep jokes. What other stupid stereotypes are used for Aussies... Kiwis... Bananas... whoever? hee hee hee :notsure: Still not very original.

KitWarrior, if you think that sheep are a stupid sterotype, it may be that you have never visited Oz and NZ. Why, just last Friday, an American tourist from the mid-west was trampled on Sydney's main street (George Street) by a flash sheep stampede (as we call them). The police thought it may have been his cattle smell. You should watch the nature channels more often.

So you’re saying you DO find rear quarters of sheep to be “stimulating”? This is the extra step in the stereotype... or what I thought was an extra step, that other folks chuckle at. Disturbing.

Kit - you should get out more. Travel around the threads...you'l find a whole world of ANZAC flora and fauna has been set loose upon the Metaverse. And we do not molest out sheep...we REVERE them.....

Get out more? I'm thinkin' outdoors or back overseas when I read that. Do you really mean "travel around the threads" when you say "get out more"? Well, as I stated earlier, I have been taking the time to check out the rest of the Metaverse.

When I say the sheep jokes are a stereotype, I'm referring to the jokes nonANZAC folks make, like mine for example. From the other threads, I’ve seen how y’all have turned the tables by revering you livestock. What a dirty trick! Because I’ll puke if I read anything more about sheep, I’m prevented from making sheep jokes. How dastardly conceived! That 72.4% good rating is very deceptive.

After all the equal opportunity training I still do this. I’m such a buffoon! I should have typed... oh and I even misspelled hear!!! Why doesn’t somebody vaporize me with a polarized shockwave cannon?!?!

“Hear me sister and brother overlords!”

Maybe this is why I can't sleep tonight. There was something stewing in the back of my mind and this was it.