Banned for open mouth kissing and or resuscitation. 

Banned for over exaggerating tumultuously. 

Banned for what do lawyers wear to court?   Lawsuits    haha

(just heard it on ellen:))

Banned for litigation...  cos lawyers wearing a lawsuit to court could be held in contempt.... so they're probably better off in a blouse and mini-skirt

banned because not all lawyers should wear a blouse and mini-skirt

banned because all lawyers should go commando

Banned for preaching to the choir... tho the dry cleaning bill would be a lot less if only they'd wear their birthday suits instead.

EDIT:  @ AdmiralRevan

Oh, and banned for jumping the queue... somebody once told me admirals be fechen notorious for it

banned for being too slow

...old man 

banned for berating an old man

banned for not letting me have a little fun

banned for bringing up the giant sea spider

banned beca-

EEEEE SPIDER 

Banned for arachnophobia.

banned for phobiaphobia

Banned for fear of plurality.

Banned for phobia of phobias.  That could become annoying.

Banned for contemplating on annoyance.

banned for contemplating and not taking action

Banned for shooting first, and asking questions later.

Banned for not giving it another thought.  And a night in shining armour is always welcome. 

Banned for shining armours.

banned for not shining my shoes

Banned for  water spots.

Banned for underwater pocket billiards... I much prefer underwater hide and seek at low tide, whereby her delighted squeals, you can tell that my eel's found somewhere pleasant to hide.

Banned for slippery and long.