Banned 'cause why you not see the candy vamp gobble up Twizzler forest. 

banned for not seeing the forest from the floor

Banned for seeing the end of the ocean...in your bathtub.

banned for stopping up the oceans

Banned for not stopping at the ocean and ploughing right in and why didn't yer get yer brakes checked?

Banned for "checking out my brakes" and that just goes to show that there IS a fettish for everything.

banned for a series of odd fetishes 

Banned for fetishes that involve rubber, tight leather under garments and handcuffs and why hasn't the repair shop returned my Dolly Parton blow-up doll, complete with titanium plated nipple rings and the soundtrack of The Best Little Whorehouse In Texas?

banned for using a slow repairman who apparently is taking his time to test out the product 

Banned for besmirching the name of my repair-woman, who got into blow-up doll repair to test-run various male models that pass through her shop and I always wondered why that place had a burning rubber smell about it.

Banned for burning rubber at both ends to make them meet. 

Banned for Gap Band IV references.

Banned for banding in technicolor.

Banned for comparing your sad attempts at Light-Brite art to technicolor.

Banned for not seeing the main menu in technicolor because you lost your monocle in the soup and ordered shrimp in mono-color instead.

banned for dropping the mic and hearing only in monolog 

Banned for delivering a monologue that was too long, too loud and generally off-topic in every sense of the word and why is there no accounting for taste at a wine and cheese festival in a monastery where the nuns will get none of that but some of the other?

Banned 'cause nuns mean none......none of this that and especially the other thing.

banned for mocking someone's strongly held religious beliefs 

Banned for not seeing past the end of your nose, where mighty and wondrous things occur, during the day and the middle of the night, and why do the birds chirp more freely when it's mating season and love is on the wing?

banned for inverse opinions that assume that some cannot see past the end of their nose

Banned for taking exception to hilarious comments regarding your snoze and whether or not you can see past the end of it even on a clear day, let alone during a 'pea souper' that grounds all air traffic and did you hear about the pilot who invented a plane with the cockpit up the back cos he'd never heard of planes reversing into mountains?

Banned for all those reasons I haven't thunk up yet.

banned for a poorly creative mind

Banned because the long and the short of it were never correctly measured, and thus the width and breadth were not considered as being important measurements, which is why Weight Watchers encourages its members to have Jenny Craig moments every morning before breakfast and why isn't porridge considered a fair means of weight loss?