Banned for not painting on a few smiles for the camera... the bill for the cracked lens is in the mail.

They say beauty is only skin deep, but how deep does ugly go?

Banned for licking your fingers after dipping them in **********

banned for starring out

Banned for blowing your nose out of season.

Banned for offering him sandpaper instead of a Kleenex.

banned for being so rough about it

Banned for sandpaper in the morning.

Banned for avoiding it by 'going' at night... and no, it isn't hygenic to lick the bowl.

Banned for having a lovely bowl?

Banned for coconuts should have a Marx Brothers feel to them.

Banned for if a gal has a lovely pair o' coconuts, I wanna feel 'em first.... oh how I love the taste of coconut milk.

Banned for gettin on the list.

Banned for starting a list without filling out the proper requisition forms in triplicate and failing to submit them to the appropriate department prior to closing.

banned in a non bureaucratic way

Banned for walking the dog down the slippery slope.... and I still love the taste of coconut milk in the morning

banned for not enjoying the smell, if there is such a thing

Banned for wanting to add another to my list of morning smells.... like I haven't got enough to do already.

Banned for smelling crabgrass.

Banned for there's NO crabs on my lawn.... nor lobsters, but I wouldn't mind, given the price of seafood these days.

Banned for I smell a weed.   And I want some pizza. 

Banned for hallucinogenic practices in the morning hours before tea time.

(BTW...I edited the quote to fit my post).

banned for editing by way to proxy

Banned fer gettin' all horizontal like.... except fer that thar vertical bit in tha midships.

Who said ye could raise tha mizzen afore tha yardarm?

banned for odd talk and broadening your horizons 

Banned for odd numbers and pink sunsets.