Pitches for new recruits

Recruitment add as envisioned by Veteran Obi Wan Kenobi :


JEDI REPUBLIC RECRUITMENT COMMERCIAL - TELEVISION FORMAT - PRELIMINARY

[[Opening voiceover]]

This public service announcement is brought to you by the Jedi Republic.

[[Opening music - Vader's "Imperial March." Opening shot - wide angle of a planet under attack by Drengin corvettes. Switch to closeup shot - Drengin mercenary is honing a Ginsu knife set as Midwestern farmers scream in background]]

The saga...is FAR from over!

[[Panoramic view - Hundreds of Yor ground force phalanxes march in perfect machine formation, mercilessly gunning down cutlass-wielding pirates]]

Threats to galactic stability and order are increasing since the fall of the Old Republic!

[[Switch to interior shot of a smoky, torch-lit, rough stone tower. Crack Altarian PSI-Troopers surround a lone, sweating, shivering wizard, who clutches his staff under their steely gazes. The sound of his knees knocking underneath his tattered robes is VERY noticeable]]

Dark forces are rampant, threatening to overrun us all!

[[Slow fade to black; music volume fades to absolute silence]]

The downtrodden of the Metaverse need a new ally to fight this evil...

[[Light slowly increases, revealing a closeup of Yoda's face, looking into the distance, in "wise old master" expression. Camera positioned LOW - under floor level if possible - so that he appears, well, almost 4 feet tall. Yoda slowly turns and looks down at camera, narrows eyes dangerously]]

"MY ally is the Force...And a POWERFUL ally it is!"

[[Roll audio of Star Wars overture, a.k.a. "Luke's Theme" - maximum volume. Fast cut to space battle with GalCiv Starfighters (modified to look suspiciously like X-Wings) peeling out of formation into a strafing run against an Arcean battleship]]

ENLIST today!

[[Cut to Qui-Gon, Dooku, etc. wielding lightsabers; chopping, slashing, and generally making a whopping big pile of scrap out of Yor death droids]]

FEEL the Force flowing through you!

[[Closeup of black gloved hand "choking" air; Torian marine in background levitating approx. 19" from floor, eyes bulging; DON'T show helmet on figure in foreground! This is a recruiting tape for Pete's sake]]

STRIKE a mighty blow against the destructive tide!

[[Back to space shot; Drengin Death St - no, TERROR STAR exploding. Use Dolby Surround on explosion SFX; crank up bass so that rumble rattles teeth of audience]]

BE A PART of the rising power for order and justice in the Metaverse!

[[Rapid "machine-gun" montage of images to raise adrenaline level of the viewer. Emphasis on lightsaber and space battles. Insert at least one image each of Leia in Jabba's Palace outfit and Amidala in skintight white outfit from Ep. II for cheesecake value. Also at least one pointless image of Artoo beeping and rocking from side-to-side; the kids always love that one]]

JOIN the Jedi Republic!

[[Music swells to climax of overture. Switch to widescreen. Jedi Knights in line-abreast formation in background, silhouetted, lightsabers ignited. Yoda positioned in the foreground, so that he looks taller/more imposing, in spotlight. Silhouette gives more visual impact for Knights and is NECESSARY to minimize disturbingly dark robes on a few members]]

[[Fast zoom to closeup of Yoda]]

"Strong we are, already...but perhaps...THERE IS ANOTHER."

[[Music ends - abrupt cut to black. Brief pause. Then, yellow text fades in on black screen - NO VOICEOVER]]

The Force is with us.
Is it with you?

From the da turning point in da Metaverse Wars - da Bundaberg Rally, 2003...


"i az a dream. i az a dream that da ANZAC's let bygones be bygones and concentrate on getting da ship togevver. i az a dream dat if we iz lookin cool and attractive, peoples iz gonna start thinkin' about da nice wevver, and da white sand, and da beer, and da vino, and da funny ciggies, and da roo on da barbie, and den day iz gettin' all jealous and sentimental and iz tryin' to dress like us, but day can't be us cos we iz too cool, and den day iz tryin to join, and we iz sayin, sorry too late, cos we iz danglin' dem like dey is a flattie on da hook, and day is goin crazy and beggin' please please lemme become a cool anzac, i az no life, you is da best, here's a million squid, and we iz takin' it and goin to vietnam cos we iz so cunning."

..and da crowd went OFF!

(Fade to monocrome green screen)
The Geektrix has you......
Follow the white skull and crossbones......
Knock knock Matey

Back to full color.

Forget all those sissy geek empires, (Girls dance across the screen) Join the most happening Pirates in the metaverse.

Get Rid of Slimy alienS want's you!!!!!

How could Calvin and Hobbes, and the oracle both be wrong? It's the Pirates life for you.

So throw off the geektrix and all those other sissy empires. Free your mind, Trinity and the Babes are waiting for you. Many are taken, but plenty left. Take the red Pill and Join G.R.O.S.S.
[Message Edited]

Join the Viraxian Ascension. We can give a good education, a brand new car, move you and your family to a nice tropical bungalo in Hamburg. Of course you will win every maso-gigantic game you play. You will be gifted with supreme knowledge, which you can use not only inthe game, but throughout the rest of your life. You will get the good feeling one always gets when liberating poor (and oil rich) planets from opressive tyrants. Eventually, you will even be guarenteed a shot at running for President. All you have to do is SIGN HERE>__________________ http://www.galciv.com/metaverse/empires.asp?id=499 .

(recruiters are suppose to lie, right?)
[Message Edited]

join the only, "evil-only" empire!

click here to join -> http://www.galciv.com/metaverse/empires.asp?id=503

nevermind, your not evil.
however, if you ever do become evil, do consider joining the Evil Empire.

The sun shines brightly as two children play in the field of clover. Carefree and happy, these two chase each other in an endless game of tag. But evil lurks just behind the treeline.

From the depths of the forest, three dark figures emerge on horseback. Their eyes glowing with hate and evil, they are unmistakable. They search for the One Ring and will stop at nothing to achieve their ultimate goal.

The children stop, mesmerized by the dark riders. Without thought or conscience, the riders suddenly spur their horses toward the two innocent children. Can nothing save them?

Yes, for out of the forest opposite the riders emerge the wizards of the Fellowship of the Ring! Uttering but a few words, magic streaks toward the evil riders. The riders know these mages and fear them, for they are strengthened by the One Ring! In panic, the riders turn and head back to the dark forest from which they came.

The children are saved and peace once again returns to the field.

Are you willing to join the Fellowship? Do you strive to help your fellow Metaverse citizen? Are you interested in fun conversation and intersting discussions? Then the Fellowship of the Ring Empire is for you!

Click here http://www.angelfire.com/rings/fellowshipgalciv for more information!

Are you frustrated for the lack of imagination in your game? Do you dream in color? Do you think that the stars are beacons of light left there by ancient civilizations? Do you hate your boss? Is your wife giving you hard times for spending so many hours in the computer? Is your girlfriend too fat? Do you like ice-cream? If you answer yes to any of these questions then you are a candidate for CDG Alliance, come and visit our team page at http://www.galciv.com/metaverse/empires.asp?id=264

or visit our website, the paradise for modders and anomaly creators at http://www.cdgroup.org/forums/tbs/gc/

So are you still not sure? We can show you secrets of the unknown, mysteries of the beyond, ghosts of time past. I think I ate too many pretzels this morning, sorry got to go!!!!!

Got corn?

http://idle.thehueys.com/midwest

~SDC~

Nice website you got there idle, but your forum is kind of quiet.

Thanks

It's summer time in the Midwest and galciv has taken a back seat, but kid's are going back to school and thing's will start picking up again.

Hey, that could be our pitch:

"Do you love Galciv, but real life doesn't allow you to play 24/7? Do you love your family and friends just a little more than Galciv? The MWC is the place for you. Join the empire who's priorities are in line with your own. Long live the MWC :HOT:"



~SDC~

Recruitment ads, hey? Cool, I've got something to think about at work tomorrow...

An elf steps out nervously, onto the stage. He carries something that is either a weapon or a musical instrument; after he's started playing it, you're still not sure which.
"Hi. My name is... Well, never mind. You wouldn't be able to pronounce it anyway. Ray the Wanderer asked me to write a recruitment song, so here goes:"

We won’t think you’re awful
If you’re subnormal
Or some kind of masochist.
If you win with ease
Or depend upon cheese
We want you on our list!

Ray is the leader
And if you’re a good reader
You’ll know about him before long.
He’s brave and he’s tall,
Hardly evil at all,
So join me in this song:

If you want to write stories
Or boast of your glories
Or are desperate for a good tip…
If you’re lost in space
Or fear for your race
Then come join the Fellowship!

"I think I had a link around here somewhere..." He pats his pockets. "Oh well, never mind. I think Theoden has one you can use."
He looks behind himself, nervously. "Was that OK, Ray?"
Suddenly, he makes a run for it. Half a second later, a bolt of lightning strikes the stage where he was standing. Probably just a coincidence.


~SDC~
[Message Edited]

A warrior stumbles onto the blackened stage carrying a little globe with a word beside it. Nervously looking from side to side, he tosses it onto the stage and retreats to the relative safety of stage right. On the stage sits this:

http://www.angelfire.com/rings/fellowshipgalciv

Great job, guys! LOL

everyone thats evil should join the EVIL EMPIRE because we have a new logo! LOL


click here please -> http://www.galciv.com/metaverse/empires.asp?id=503

I find it ironic that while the evil empire's logo is pure evil, its emperor has the diet version.

LOL

It's an inspiration to all diet Evils to move to the full flavour version.

~SDC~

I'm trying! All these gigantic games take me quite a while to complete.

~SDC~

Actually if someone is evil, why not join the empire that dominates the evil board? G.R.O.S.S. An unprecedented 11 members appeard in the top 25 on evil yesterday.

Where are the exorcists when you need them???? :notsure: LOL LOL

They are off extracating demons somewhere. They followed the trail of :VOMIT: To some kid's house. Little did they know he just didn't like Split Pea soup.

Alert! Alert! The vomits are coming, the vomits are coming!