NotSoSmellySarah NotSoSmellySarah

Sexual Frustration

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Sexual Frustration

Interesting Title Don't You Agree?

from JoeUser Forums
Okay so at the bball game me and shaun had a conversation about sex. This one was significant however. I just read sams article on sex and I was thinking. I want to know other opinions, i'm not some sex crazed maniac who is just looking to get laid, I seriously just want some answers.

Why are we supposed to wait til marriage? Okay, i understand sex is sacred and beautiful and ment to be cherished. But if I'm in love with someone (once again i know it requires maturity, and a lot of other stuf, this is purely hypothetical.) why does having some reverend tell me "okay its alright to have sex now" make it suddenly okay. I mean seriously. What is marriage, to me it is a commitment between to people that love each other and God, it is a exclamation of love and trust and what not. Do i need some preacher to tell me that? Sex is so personal, why does it have to be at the same time for everyone?

Okay call me immature, but if youre going to be with someone your whole life, wouldn't you want to know if you have good sex first? I mean most people will probably be all like but thats not what matter the most. But you have to admit, it is significant. If youre going to be with only that one person for the rest of your life, wouldn't you want it to be good. But then from what i hear sex is good if youre in love, so it won't necessarily matter.

Last thing, is oral sex enough to make me not a virgin anymore? Its supposed to be how you feel afterwards or something that makes you a virgin/non virgin. Its been a substanial amount of time, I guess i feel like a virgin. I don't know. They say that oral sex is very intimate and what not. I don't know how i feel about this.

I don't not wanted to be judged by the conservatives on this site. Okay? I have my own way at looking at things. Also if you have some its in the bible response, please save it, i already know. Its cool if youre waiting for marriage, or just waiting as i am, i just want to know what you all think.
9,337 views 38 replies
Reply #26 from JoeUser Forums Top
Draginol~ I hear you loud and clear. I'm not saying that i want to run around and have sex with everyone. I do have self respect. I have no intention of becoming a slut.
Reply #27 from JoeUser Forums Top
Maybe you read that wrong... I don't really care what my mom thinks so much as what she thinks others will think. I've been told all of my life that as a christian I have certain things I should be. One of those things is of an appearance of "good". In other words, if I decide to have sex before marriage that might make people think being a christian doesn't mean anything really. But, if I were to hold myself back... then someone might question my motives. At that time I could explain God's plan. If someone thinks I'm just like them then what the point in even getting saved right? Well, that's not what I'm taught. I'm supposed to be a "light" so others don't get lost.

Capt.over and out!
Offworld Trading Company
Reply #28 from JoeUser Forums Top
yep , awsome point ! but i also qusiton this whoe sex thing ! i mean what if you do get into a situation like that ! we are all humans and we lust ! and being alone with a guy can bring up some pretty strong lust ! but ... you wont know until you get there right ! to really know how strong you really are ! b-cuz you can tell yourself over and over agian that you are going to wait but you really never know ! right well i dont know !
Reply #29 from JoeUser Forums Top
then, according to some, Discombob. Chick, if you are A) a male, it's understandable and B) if you are a female, you obviously have no self respect and are, therefore, a slut.

Double standards are interesting, and I think anyone getting into a relationship with someone should understand these sorts of double standards.
Reply #30 from JoeUser Forums Top
I hate that paradox! I'm a girl and i have self respect but does that mean i'm going to let someone else tell when to have sex, no.

Rissa~ i hear you, sort of. you and brandon aren't making a whole lot of sense but thats okay.
Reply #31 from JoeUser Forums Top

Well Myrrander, you can either deal with life as it is or as you really really wish it was. Life is full of double standards. 

Reply #32 from JoeUser Forums Top
I'm supposed to be a "light" so others don't get lost.


I don't think being a light means being 'goody-goody'. That's not human, and to play a false role in order to please others will backfire in the long term. I'm wary about people who say they have no vices. It just means they're buring it, and it will naturally rise to the surface sooner or later, in a more distorted or perverted manner.

In my view, to be a light means to first learn to love ourself unconditionally. We can then begin to love others as ourself. The Christian good news is that we are redeemed by the grace of Christ, not that we have to be perfect or goody-goody.
Reply #33 from JoeUser Forums Top
yep ! ok what i was trying to say was , no how much you tell yourself you are going to wait you wont know until you get there ! all humans lust at one point in time and sometimes we just cant control those feelings , until mabe somthig bad happens that you will regret ! did i say that any better ! and actually i have only heard one guy say that they are going to wait until they get married ! that was a first for me ! even the guys at church dont say that ! they dont say im going to jump into bed with the next girl who walks into the room ethier ! but usally guys go for the pant first ! but i dont know anything !!!!!!!
Reply #34 from JoeUser Forums Top
yeah, i'm not going to try and say that Christians are suposed to be goody-goody, but the point is to be IN the world not OF it. if I were to just start having sex whenever i want then obviously i'm letting the world get the best of me. maybe i'd really like to have sex and i'm not married (not that i do). the only problem with that, in my eyes, is that God created marriage for that and by doing that i'd be allowing something else to control me.

obviously, my point of view is unwanted here, so i guess i'll just get out of here. i'm sorry i don't think it's just fine to "experiment" just because it feels good.

Capt. over and out!
Reply #35 from JoeUser Forums Top
Why get married first? My reasoning is plain and simple. It would upset my mom if she found out that I ever had sex before I got married. I'm not so worried about what the Bible says as I am worried about what kind of image I'd be creating.


Hey Brandon, I must apologize about my former comment relating to this comment. I thought you were saying "Why wait? That's dumb"... but now after reading it again, I'm guessing you mean your reasoning for waiting is plain and simple. I get it now. Sorry about that.

I agree with you. We are supposed to be a light to the world, and that's a great reason.

discombobulated chick... umm... yeah, you are.

~Sarah
Reply #36 from JoeUser Forums Top
The only thing I can add to all of the above replies is what I told my daughters.

"your virginity is a gift, A gift that can only be given once, so choose wisely"
Reply #37 from JoeUser Forums Top
Well Myrrander, you can either deal with life as it is or as you really really wish it was. Life is full of double standards.


Indeed. I choose to deal with it as I wish it was. And perhaps change some things. Dealing with life "as is" would have meant no end to slavery, no women't suffrage -- no a lot of things.

What is it you choose? Comfort? Comfort for whom?

Indeed, I'll keep working toward life as I really wish it was. Even in failure, I will feel like a success.
Reply #38 from JoeUser Forums Top
Last thing, is oral sex enough to make me not a virgin anymore? Its supposed to be how you feel afterwards or something that makes you a virgin/non virgin. Its been a substanial amount of time, I guess i feel like a virgin. I don't know. They say that oral sex is very intimate and what not. I don't know how i feel about this.


I think virginity can be in the eye of the beholder...or perhaps there are even different kinds of virginity. I think most would be hard pressed to say that men who have only had sex with men are still virgins. Though, my reaction may be stemming directly from rewatching Chasing Amy earlier today.

Keep a mind open to the idea that there are few universal standards that work for everyone. Decide what's best for you, not everyone else.

-suspeckted