As I see no Jedi have answered these challenges, I must fulfill my duty as an honorary Jedi and respond. This is intended as humor; if you're offended, I'm probably just channelling Pontius.
Top ten reasons not to join the Jedi Republic.
1 Why is their Light saber so long? Answer: to compenstae for lack of...
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...gentlemen's agreements from those pesky Euros who always seem to snipe from long range?
2 If they are so strong in Force it should be no problem to be the top Empire... BUT!!!
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Well, they were there more recently than the Euros...a LOT more recently. You WERE in first at some point, right? Close to a year ago, I think?
3 Scruffy hooded and cloaked figures are considered beggars
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Allowing your opponents to underestimate you is a powerful weapon. Like when Special Forces blew past y'all while you were napping.
4 The Dark side is always more powerfull
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But if Europe is in danger of falling to totalitarians, the U.S. will probably bail you out. Again.
5 Considering the quality of Episode 1 and 2 we shouldn't be worried...
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Considering the revenue generated by their ticket, video and DVD sales, you should be. Probably higher than Italy's GNP.
6 With a little worm like YODA being a Jedi master, no wonder we are winning
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They're saving the big worm, Jabba, for when they really need him. They're planning to drop him on Geneva. (By the way, third place is WINNING?)
7 The only normal guy in episode 4-6 is Han Solo. And he ISN'T a Jedi
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And he was probably really happy about that when Vader Force-yanked that pistol out of his hand.
8 Hokey religions and ancient weapons aren't a match for a good blaster
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See #7 above.
9 Anybody saw Luke Hamilton act in any other fim lately??
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Who's Luke Hamilton? Luke Skywalker we know...Mark Hamill we know...this Luke Hamilton was perhaps an actor in a low-budget Euro film? Mark Hamill is making a living from doing voiceovers as the Joker in the animated Batman series. Hey, it's a paycheck. Harrison Ford could probably buy several eastern European countries. Lucas could probably buy England.
10 It's worse than that the movies dead Jim, dead Jim.
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This appears to be a Star Trek reference, but I'm honestly not sure what it means. I assume it was intended to tie into Star Wars somehow? Remember, those are the movies with the Jedi and all, not Kirk.
Seriously though Americans are welcome. Except when their name is G W Bush of course.
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In that case, PLEASE take Bill and Hillary Clinton! We'll even pay freight! Heck, send the Concorde! Oh, that's right, they're out of service...but the plane doesn't need to make it all the way BACK across the Atlantic! We just need it to make it off the ground over here.
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