The Sisterhood

from JoeUser Forums
In case you did not know, supermodel Tyra Banks now hosts a talk show. Yesterday I was watcing and what was said really astounded me. I think it may have been a life changing experience....all from watching a silly talk show.

Women. We are the nurturers of the universe. We can be creaters, lovers, workers, fighters, sexy, crazy, and so on and so forth all in the blink of an eye. Thanks to our founding foremothers, we have the power to do just about anything to make this world a better place.

Sometimes our powers can also not work out for the best

Due to many reasons, women, myself included, also have the power to be angry, catty, vendictive, sour, envious, unfriendly, begrudging, well, that list can also go on. When that list rears it's ugly head, the claws come out.

As some of you know, or may not know, I do not make friends easily. When I do make friends, chances are it's with a guy before a girl. Sometimes I used to think it was because I had more in common with the guy. Afterall, I am pretty low matenience, I like sports, I like to drink beer now and then, and I'm just not that into shoes and purses.

Then one day someone told me to listen to myself talk.

There's a female aquetience of mine that every guy I know just drools when she walks into a room. I recall one night just hanging out and watching football at our apartment with some friends, and somebody had started to talk about her. They rambling on about how her band got a record deal.

I then said,

"Well it definatley can't be based on talent, it has to be because of her beer flavored titties." (meaning that everyone would flock to her and give her attention because her tits are beer flavored).

All of the guys then started to defend her. They chatted about, claiming how she was just the most talented and gorgeous thing ever. I began to get rather angry. I mean, sure she's a pretty girl, but pretty girls have no substance. They don't care about her mind, they just care about what she looks like. I then got angry, went to the bedroom, and decided it was time for bed.

Shortly after the party ended, Hardin came in the room and layed down beside me. He then said, "Well, your claws came out, now didn't they?"

I tried to defend myself. I stated how no one ever cares unless you are a pretty girl. I then began to ramble on about how I wished I was stupid and gorgeous, how then everybody would finally respect me.

This made Hardin rather angry. He then questioned, "Well what does my opinion matter because I think you are both beautiful and smart."

He then blurted something about jealousy, but I tuned it out and went to bed. The truth is, of course I was jealous. Of course I wanted to be the center of attention. Of course I want to get recognized for my talents. Of course I wanted to be the one with the beer flavored titties, that are of course off limits to all but one guy. I just wanted Hardin to be proud of me and my accomplishments. I mean, he's a rockstar and I'm just some school teacher. I have some shoes to fill.

I know I am not the only woman who does this. I've seen it on this site, I have close friends that do it, I have even heard my Mom do it. If we could only be proud of each other, instead of envious. Yesterday, watching the show, I realized that this behavior needs to stop. Just think, if we created an alliance; a sisterhood; what we could accomplish together.
8,032 views 36 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
I don't think that I'm this way. I have lots of girlfriends and I love them to death.

I would say the only thing that really pisses me off are the predatory woman. You know the one's who even though there are tons of single guys around will chase after the ones who already have a wife or girlfriend. Like it's a game and they won the prize if they can get them away from who they're with now. I hate those women. I've seen lots of it in the Navy and they have a name Navy Skanks.

They aren't in the sisterhood but everyone else is great.
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
locomama:
There are some women that I admit, I really do not understand their intentions either! I think those kind of women are just really insecure. I think everyone needs to realize that we all hold beauty.

I think that some of my former cattiness is natural to me because of my age. I think I'm finally growing out of that stage.
Sins of a Solar Empire II
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
If you really think about it, cattiness, jealousy, bitchiness is all part of the sisterhood. What makes sisterhood special is having the ability to see past it, to forgive it and move forward.

My.02 anyway.
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
momijiki:
I think it prevents growth. We all have the power to rise above this.
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
would say the only thing that really pisses me off are the predatory woman. You know the one's who even though there are tons of single guys around will chase after the ones who already have a wife or girlfriend. Like it's a game and they won the prize if they can get them away from who they're with now. I hate those women. I've seen lots of it in the Navy and they have a name Navy Skanks.


Ha! I HATE bitches like that. (There's that cattiness you were talking about, Alison) They're everywhere in the AF too. Like I tell my husband when he leaves, I trust him...I just don't trust some women who like to fuck around with other chick's husbands.

I think that we have a JU sisterhood going on. With the exception of a couple of girls, we're all pretty much at ease with each other. I know that I am, anyway.
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
dharma:
I agree. I think for the most part (there are always a couple exceptions), we have a pretty strong JU sisterhood. I am pretty much comfortable with everyone on here.
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top

I don't think that I'm this way. I have lots of girlfriends and I love them to death.


I feel the same way.

However, the women I have trouble with are the ones that complain and gossip about certain situations instead of tackeling the problem and solving it. I have found that at a lot at the school meetings.

I think anyone who goes after another womans husband should be taken care of in some way. My cattiness comes out at this subject. They are the low of the low.
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
We all have the power to rise above this.


Yes. I agree. I believe the second sentence I wrote says that.
What makes sisterhood special is having the ability to see past it, to forgive it and move forward.



But sisterhood is understanding that people aren't perfect. Sisters can be bitchy, they can be catty, they can push all your buttons but there is STILL love and caring for another person. I feel the most sisterhood with the female friends I have that I can be bitchy with. That I know will forgive me if I have a lapse into catty-land.

And I am not talking about the betrayal issues some women have with man-pinching.
Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
I think anyone who goes after another womans husband should be taken care of in some way.


My dear husband was blind to that kind of chick until recently. I had been telling him for years that they exist, but he never believed me....until he met one for himself.

Now he's down in Alabama, and has been telling people that his wife can make a 500 mile drive in 6 1/2 hours, has the ability to physically take grown men down and inflict enough pain on them to make them cry, and isn't afraid to kick a little ass to defend her marriage. (so take heed, beatch. You have a man already, leave mine - and every other married man in the class, because apparently you're not fussy - alone.)

I don't get why chicks do that. Don't they understand that they're ostracizing themselves from the sisterhood when they come on to other chick's men?
Ha. I guess I really AM catty, huh?
Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top
I don't get why chicks do that. Don't they understand that they're ostracizing themselves from the sisterhood when they come on to other chick's men?
Ha. I guess I really AM catty, huh?


I knew one of these girls, a co-worker, in Florida. She only dated married or involved men. I don't thinks she really thought a lot about herself. She would always say it was safe for her because she didn't want a serious romance.

Do I think that makes you catty? Nah...it makes you strong in the sense that you will defend your marriage. If more people did that, maybe the threat of physical harm, would stop those types of women.
Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top
to all (because I think we are all on the same page):
I just think that if we stick together, rather than sabatoge eachother through ruining marriages and other personal attacks, that women can just rise above all of this petty crap. I just don't understand why some women do this to each other. Shouldn't we be proud of each other as a whole?
Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top
If more people did that, maybe the threat of physical harm, would stop those types of women.

I think so too. Instead of lamenting about why and wherefore, perhaps we should kick ass first and ask questions later.

I just think that if we stick together, rather than sabatoge eachother through ruining marriages and other personal attacks, that women can just rise above all of this petty crap. I just don't understand why some women do this to each other. Shouldn't we be proud of each other as a whole?


I think that we should, and I'm prepared to try.
Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top
dharma:
Me too. I just think it's unhealthy to have such hostility and sadness. Especially enough sadness to sabatoge another women (in the cases you were talking about).
Reply #14 from JoeUser Forums Top
I will chime in as the first male.  What you talk about is non-gender specific.  But men usually dont wear their heart on their sleeve, so you never see cattiness (or rarely).  It does not mean we dont have it, it just means we dont act it out.
Reply #15 from JoeUser Forums Top
dr guy:
so what do guys do? I honestly can't remember hardin ever dogging on some dude.
Reply #16 from JoeUser Forums Top
It does not mean we dont have it, it just means we dont act it out


so you guys just keep it to yourselves? you stew on it? huh. come to think of it, i HAVE noticed that. There was a guy that I used to work for that I'd talk about fairly regularly, and Dave used to either not say much or would snap about how he was trying to concentrate/read/listen to/watch something and my yammering was distracting him. Was that the guy version of cattiness?
Reply #17 from JoeUser Forums Top

to all (because I think we are all on the same page):
I just think that if we stick together, rather than sabatoge eachother through ruining marriages and other personal attacks, that women can just rise above all of this petty crap. I just don't understand why some women do this to each other. Shouldn't we be proud of each other as a whole?


Hmmmm...I *do* have some girlfriends, but they're spread out through the country, and we keep in touch via email or blogs, mostly. It makes me feel very disconnected from them. To be honest, I'd love to have a gal pal here in my town where we could go over to each other's houses, watch a chick flick or play a card game or bake together or something. I'm not a "go out and party and get laid together" kind of a "girlfriend".

I'm a "dork" kind of girlfriend. I'm also a girlfriend that not many people gravitate toward. Maybe I'm too intense or something. I have no idea.
Reply #18 from JoeUser Forums Top
dharma:
Hardin is the same way...he'd rather talk about something else! hehe. I am trying to think what he gets pissed at...hmm...maybe if his football teams aren't winning...

Marcie:
I'm sure you'd be fun irl. I've been here for almost a year and I am still convinced that I need a female friend...I am just wondering if I'm going to find any...
Reply #19 from JoeUser Forums Top
I'm sure you'd be fun irl. I've been here for almost a year and I am still convinced that I need a female friend...I am just wondering if I'm going to find any...


I think I am fun. I tend to be the "event planner"..."Let's go for a walk in the park!" "Let's go to the Science Museum!" "Let's go to a play!" "Let's go ice skating!" "Let's go get some damned ice cream!" I was lucky in college that most of my buddies tended to like the dorky ideas I got, and since we were all poor we made sure we hit up all the free events in the area.

The issue is no one has time. They've got kids, or husbands, or they live thousands of miles away. I'm really a loner--and I'm not used to that. It makes me very, very depressed.
Reply #20 from JoeUser Forums Top
marcie:
I totally understand. In a college environment, I thrived....for the exact same reasons you did...for being wacky. Here, everyone is always "too busy."
Reply #21 from JoeUser Forums Top
I'm a lot like you, alison. I'm a girly girl, but for some reason I relate better to guys. I have girlfriends that I can confide in, but I feel more comfortable sharing and yucking it up with guys.

I think cattiness is a natural reaction to feeling threatened (i.e. "no one will pay attention to me as long as SHE'S here"). I'm not a snot to other women. It's just not how I roll. Generally, I'm more of be pleasant and try to make the best of it and then make fun of them when we get home from the event kinda girl.

My husband and I have sarcasm and making fun down to an art form. And yes, I realize that it's only karma that other people do the same about me. I'm cool with that. I think it's a light-hearted way to deal with those negative feelings.
Reply #22 from JoeUser Forums Top
tex:
I don't know what it is, but I agree, I think sometimes it's more fun to hang with the boys. Now if all the JU girls got together...that would be a different story.

I think it is all about feeling threatened. Like in my story, the attention was not on me, it was some other girl. I am such a ham like that, it's bad. I really need to get my act together.
Reply #23 from JoeUser Forums Top
Now if all the JU girls got together...that would be a different story.


Absolutely. But you know, I attribute that mostly to the fact that we've gotten to know each other without first seeing each other. We didn't have the opportunity to prejudge each other negatively based on appearances. And that's really a beautiful thing.

That appearance-inspired cattiness really does keep us from getting to know people who whose company and conversation we would enjoy.
Reply #24 from JoeUser Forums Top
tex:
Interesting point. Isn't it funny how that works??
Reply #25 from JoeUser Forums Top
to all (because I think we are all on the same page):
I just think that if we stick together, rather than sabatoge eachother through ruining marriages and other personal attacks, that women can just rise above all of this petty crap. I just don't understand why some women do this to each other. Shouldn't we be proud of each other as a whole?


Alison...When I first read your article I was in total agreement with you and then one issue set me off and I became catty just like the people I don't want to be like.

I'm sorry I brought some hate on your thread.
Something I need to work on.