alison watkins alison watkins

The Sisterhood

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The Sisterhood

from JoeUser Forums
In case you did not know, supermodel Tyra Banks now hosts a talk show. Yesterday I was watcing and what was said really astounded me. I think it may have been a life changing experience....all from watching a silly talk show.

Women. We are the nurturers of the universe. We can be creaters, lovers, workers, fighters, sexy, crazy, and so on and so forth all in the blink of an eye. Thanks to our founding foremothers, we have the power to do just about anything to make this world a better place.

Sometimes our powers can also not work out for the best

Due to many reasons, women, myself included, also have the power to be angry, catty, vendictive, sour, envious, unfriendly, begrudging, well, that list can also go on. When that list rears it's ugly head, the claws come out.

As some of you know, or may not know, I do not make friends easily. When I do make friends, chances are it's with a guy before a girl. Sometimes I used to think it was because I had more in common with the guy. Afterall, I am pretty low matenience, I like sports, I like to drink beer now and then, and I'm just not that into shoes and purses.

Then one day someone told me to listen to myself talk.

There's a female aquetience of mine that every guy I know just drools when she walks into a room. I recall one night just hanging out and watching football at our apartment with some friends, and somebody had started to talk about her. They rambling on about how her band got a record deal.

I then said,

"Well it definatley can't be based on talent, it has to be because of her beer flavored titties." (meaning that everyone would flock to her and give her attention because her tits are beer flavored).

All of the guys then started to defend her. They chatted about, claiming how she was just the most talented and gorgeous thing ever. I began to get rather angry. I mean, sure she's a pretty girl, but pretty girls have no substance. They don't care about her mind, they just care about what she looks like. I then got angry, went to the bedroom, and decided it was time for bed.

Shortly after the party ended, Hardin came in the room and layed down beside me. He then said, "Well, your claws came out, now didn't they?"

I tried to defend myself. I stated how no one ever cares unless you are a pretty girl. I then began to ramble on about how I wished I was stupid and gorgeous, how then everybody would finally respect me.

This made Hardin rather angry. He then questioned, "Well what does my opinion matter because I think you are both beautiful and smart."

He then blurted something about jealousy, but I tuned it out and went to bed. The truth is, of course I was jealous. Of course I wanted to be the center of attention. Of course I want to get recognized for my talents. Of course I wanted to be the one with the beer flavored titties, that are of course off limits to all but one guy. I just wanted Hardin to be proud of me and my accomplishments. I mean, he's a rockstar and I'm just some school teacher. I have some shoes to fill.

I know I am not the only woman who does this. I've seen it on this site, I have close friends that do it, I have even heard my Mom do it. If we could only be proud of each other, instead of envious. Yesterday, watching the show, I realized that this behavior needs to stop. Just think, if we created an alliance; a sisterhood; what we could accomplish together.
8,034 views 36 replies
Reply #26 from JoeUser Forums Top
don't know what it is, but I agree, I think sometimes it's more fun to hang with the boys.


I traditionally do better with boys than I do with girls. I dunno why.

I have noticed though, that all the chicks here that have said that they get along better with boys are women I consider to be really, really cool. Women who, if we met irl would become 'best' friends pretty quickly and easily (i hate using that term, btw. it sounds so...high school-y).

I attribute that mostly to the fact that we've gotten to know each other without first seeing each other. We didn't have the opportunity to prejudge each other negatively based on appearances. And that's really a beautiful thing.


Oh yeah. I feel like I know you girls....
Reply #27 from JoeUser Forums Top
KellyW:
I totally understand what you're saying though. I am the same way...I think it's the other side of that story that need to be true to themselves. They are the ones filled with the hate.

Dharma:
I do find that ironic...most of us who have replied on this thread are guys' girls.

I think that if Tex, Marcie, yourself, and a few others of us went out, it would be crazy!
Star Control: Origins
Reply #28 from JoeUser Forums Top

dr guy:
so what do guys do? I honestly can't remember hardin ever dogging on some dude.

We dont for the most part.  We just suck it up and ignore them.  The opposite of love is not hate.  It is indifference.  And we have that down pretty good.

Reply #29 from JoeUser Forums Top
dr guy:
I wonder why this is so easy for men....hmmm...Thank you for being a sport!
Reply #30 from JoeUser Forums Top

so you guys just keep it to yourselves? you stew on it? huh. come to think of it, i HAVE noticed that. There was a guy that I used to work for that I'd talk about fairly regularly, and Dave used to either not say much or would snap about how he was trying to concentrate/read/listen to/watch something and my yammering was distracting him. Was that the guy version of cattiness?

Close, but see my response to Alison.

Reply #31 from JoeUser Forums Top

dr guy:
I wonder why this is so easy for men....hmmm...Thank you for being a sport!

WHile it is changing, men, as a rule, dont open up to anyone (except a mate).  So it is easier for men to just ignore it.  WOmen have to share it.  That is not an absolute rule, just a general one.

Reply #32 from JoeUser Forums Top
dr. guy:
Maybe that's why most of us are such guy girls, because we are so over the crap!
Reply #33 from JoeUser Forums Top
I'll be the first to admit that I have gotten a bit envious of a beautiful or more successful or more full of life woman...in reality, it has Zero to do with them, and Everything to do with me being able to accept myself for who and how I am.

I don't think it serves any purpose to be catty, bitchy, conniving, etc...just makes all this ugly, nasty stuff build up inside of you...not good for the soul at all.

I'm all for the sisterhood...except, I have to warn ya...I've always been a quiet, keep-to-myself type of gal...I'm slowly getting outta my shell, though.
Reply #34 from JoeUser Forums Top
inbloom:
I'm the same way. It makes me feel insecure with myself if another woman does better than myself. I am really working on it.

whoohoo for the sisterhood!!!
Reply #35 from JoeUser Forums Top
It's so much easier for me to talk to guys now that I'm "attached". There's not that pressure, I guess, and I can just talk to them and find out what they're in to.

I grew up with my cousin, Bill. Every summer, all summer, every winter weekend or break...we were together. We went sledding, he drove me around behind his garden tractor (*lol*...the joys of living in the sticks!), we ate plums and apples off the trees in the orchard, watched the farm animals being born, etc., etc. We grew apart while I was in college and such, but lately we've been able to spend lots more time together and "get to know each other" again. He's like my brother.

I guess there is a point...I tend to get along better with the guys in my family much better than the ladies. They don't scream and yell at each other or say mean things, they just burp, fart, work on the snowmobiles and cars, and laugh with each other, and have a freakin beer. Life is good with the guys.

*sighs* I'm glad Christmas is only a little over a month away.
Reply #36 from JoeUser Forums Top
Being a woman is great. Having the skills and the talent we do as women is wonderful and even better when we use it to our advantage!

I think a woman being catty and doing all those things to sabotage another female does it out of ignorance and inexperience. Although there are those who just have it down to such an artform it's an automatic thing for them to do, all the time. Let's face it, some women are just down right bitches...to use a very unflaterring word!

Sisterhood is great. Women supporting each other is wonderful. Women who are of like minds, i.e., same personality, think alike will rub each other the wrong way.

We will always sell ourselves short because sometimes we are not confident enough in ourselves and our own abilities. We always wonder if we're pretty enough, or thin, or too fat, or a good mother, a good wife or a good friend. It's that basic instinct in us that craves perfection, even when we don't need to worry about those things.

Despite all those inadequacies we women are a force to be reckon with. We're nurturers, whether we have children or not, we all have those basic instincts of nurturing. We feel deeply and we are protective of our children, spouse, friend, siblings, parents.

We are more level headed and we are much more focus than men are. (most of us are anyway!)

Most women make friends with guys a lot quicker than women, me included. I guess sometimes that's because a guy is more receptive and doesn't have any hang ups about himself. That's what tend to get in the way of most women being friends. Pre-conceived thinking and attitudes. We think this person is not going to like us because...or they wouldn't like me as a friend because..... A prime example, when I lived in NY one of my neighbors who was a single mother and shared a home with her mom and other sibling. Her child became very good friends with my daughter, the oldest who was our only child at the time. I would say hello to her out of courtesy and didn't even know she was from my own birth country until my hubby told me. My hubby is friendly, they would sit outside and chat and drink a beer while the kids played. I didn't go outside too much at the time. He would always say to me you know you and her would be good friends, you should go talk to her. I was always too busy.

It wasn't until we were on the verge of moving, two months prior, that we became good friends. I started going outside to join them. And she was a fun person and we got into quite a good friendship. Now that I'm far away from NY we're even closer and have helped each other through my mom passing last year and hers passing this year. We both comment that look at how we were neighbors and hardly said a word to each other and now I moved away and we both wished we lived in the same city. Life's funny like that.

Being part of a sisterhood is great. Having great friends who you can share anything with is priceless. I have seven girlfriends who are truly my friends. None of them live in Florida unfortunately but we still keep in touch. Out of the seven there are four who I can truly say are really my sisters.

My mom used to say if you can count one woman as your friend for life, you're very lucky. I'm truly blessed. And I'm truly lucky to be a part of this great sisterhood at JU. You women are awsome in your own way and I'm glad to know ya!