Punditry

Reply to What's your favorite limerick? in Humor JoeUser Forums

There once was a fellow from Boston, Who bought himself a new Austin. There was room for his ass, and a gallon of gas. But the rest hung out and he lost 'em.

Reply to We Got the Goods on Kerry! in Politics JoeUser Forums

Thanks, Beebes: You might be right. Humor might be the place for my column. I also hate the idea of attack ads. Political science degree holder that I am, I always--naively--think that elections should be about issues, not attacking people. However, some of our political leaders have told us about their most personal attributes--integrity, intelligence, insight, values--by their actions much more so than by their words.

We Got the Goods on Kerry! in Politics JoeUser Forums

"Which attack ad would you like to see first, Mr. President?" "Let’s see, Dick. Which one is the best?" "Well, the one on Senator Kerry flip-flopping is very good. It leads off by talking about him changing his mind on the war in Iraq. Makes him look indecisive and weak." "Yeah, but he is going to say the intelligence on Iraq

Getting Michael Moore in Politics JoeUser Forums

"Condi, what have you and your folks got to spike this Michael Moore thing? That movie is costing us votes." "The best thing to do is nothing, Mr. Vice President. Just ignore him and the movie. The more we tear him down, the more people go to see the film." "Not good enough. What about arresting him for filming the Saudi embassy?"

The Washable Tattoo in Politics JoeUser Forums

"I don’t want to see it, George. Even if it is a washable tattoo, I don’t want to look at it." "Aw, but, Laura, it’s really neat. A skull and bones with Afghanistan 2002, and Iraq 2003." "It’s hideous. Lots of people died there and war is nothing to boast about. You keep your sleeves rolled down. If you have to show it to somebody, go out

When Both Sides of the Aisle Make You Weep! in Welcome JoeUser Forums

Politics are just like dating: You leave one and take up with another. A short while later, you are wondering what you ever saw in the current lover. Same thing with politics. Bill Clinton embarrassed me terribly--try explaining "oral sex" from the news to a child--and so now George Bush and his minions humiliate me even more. They're just a b