Nice. Man, that wasn't a very nice article title for us users!!! I was just like, " shit, i'm so out of touch with reality that Larry King died and I didn't KNOW IT ??" Thats quite unfair ~Me
I am listening to Comfortably Numb. I was looking at the screen for a moment, just feeling the song to see where it would take me, and where it took me for only a second was such a painful memory that my sight became fuzzy and I was dizzy to the point of passing out. And just as I typed that above it hit again. It's the pain of the memory. It hurts s
GreyWar---hilarious. I think a lot of the importance for me in playing the Sims was to have my families live in the lap of luxury, and just make friends with other people and each other, and then I fucked with their heads and made them all fall in love and then I tried to help them pick up the pieces again Sadistic? JK Anyway, as a Sims fan I am really
Thanks, Sally. I hate crying sometimes, too.
It isn't raining outside or in. I can't cry. I daydreamed earlier about it, when I was leaving class. I imagined that she (me) would go into her room and lay on her bed and just cry, in desolation by the fact that she's got kid-bangs because she singed her bangs NOT once, but TWICE and had to cut them even shorter. She cries also because she ne
Here's the point. I don't want help. I'm not so much of a fool to think that you can help me, I know you cannot. You know so ridiculously little about me, and yet at the same time more than anyone else... I'm not capable of opening up in therapy. I am unable to do it, it's something that I am incapable of doing. Don't think I haven't tried, years of private and family therapy added up to SHIT. There ain't NO W
It seems like a ridiculous thought to "get help". My bangs aren't all so bad, and I know it. Don't get me wrong, I still have them passionately, but I've seen people do MUCH more damage with their bangs than me (APRIL!!!). Things seem like they're being ridiculously dramatic. I thought I wanted to write, but I've decided I don't.
Well, my bangs hang at about the top of my eyebrows. Not too bad, I guess... Hearing all this makes me feel a lot frustrated and a lot sad. I've got a post for it I'm going to write right now. ~Me
I burned my bangs today. They were at THE PERFECT length. Just right. Just the way I had always wanted them. And then I got up and looked at my hair in the mirror. There was a funny light beige thing coated on the ends of some, and i instantly knew, even though I'd never seen it before. My hair was BURNED. Severely. I had to cut my bangs shorter!!!
I'm having an actual heart attack. Actually it is a panic attack because of the huge wave of pain that has engulfed me because of the music I am listening to. I mean I am really shaking, and I really am having a panic attack, so it does suck... I feel as if I'm being swept in, swept under, to continue on with my life as it is because right now the "
I remembered today things from when I was younger. Basically, how it came about is that I'm reading a book that is making me think of my thoughts and ideals, and how it's changed throughout the years. Like, what I was like during my formative years and how I really ended up forming. Whether the kid I was would want to become the me that I am, would accept it if not, o
Today Dharma (bless her soul) said something to me about whether my "issues" come from an outside source. I mean, all this rebellious talk of not using antidepressants because they merely cover up the real problems. They dull the pain but they don't take care of the reason the pain was there in the first place. It's like having a rotting cavity in one of your teeth, a
I don't need to "know" someone bipolar to know the ropes of things. Perhaps it is a chemical imbalance in my brain. I know there are outside causes for my depression, thats the whole point of my last statement. I dont know what I'm doing about the exterior causes. Nothing, really, that can be done. And there lies the problem. ~Me (ps i know that came off rude because its late and I don't feel like putting
I like grilled food a lot, too, as an American, but I don't know if it necessarily makes it an American thing for me. I like grilled vegetables like a freaking vegetarian weirdo, even though I'm not vegetarian. I guess grilling is ALSO an American pastime, you know?
Thanks Dharma. Where I am in my life right now, I'm so strongly against anti-depressants, and even clinical "descriptions". What's the point of even quitting drugs, if all I'm really going to do is find another "medication"? I don't want that at all, and I'm not going to do it. My mood swings really haven't been that bad, and in fact it isn't really even mood swings. Cyclothymia is an "excuse" for the way I feel, but there's
The smile seemed hardly appropriate.
Dharma-- I don't know where I'm going. The antidepressants are a joke. I mean, that's how I feel. I know it's a problem and I know it's bad but I don't know... I mean, it's like, I'm totally losing my mind but subjecting the one ounce of sanity to watch it all go down. I guess to answer every question everyone asks me: I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know But there's this desperation, this nee
PS. I guess this means I may never get to try mescaline...
Yea well doesnt that sound like a good plan for anyone who DOESNT HAVE RESPONSIBILITIES!!! Hello, I'm in college here!!! If I missed two weeks of class I would be so failed so instantly, not to mention recovery time??? Lol. My buyer decided that they're not going to get me anything good anyway... I need to meet the right people. Arrrgggg!!! ~Me
I'm sinking into the madness. I felt it when I wrote a sentence while talking to my friend. We had a good convo that I should keep for future posting... Here was the sentence : I'm So Lonely And No One Is Around To Talk To Me, And I Just Want A Friend!! says: It almost seems ridiculous for me to even leave my room And
How frustrating it is that I am completely unable to form physical relationships with guys that I interact with. I mean, the main reason I waste time interacting with guys in the fact that one of them will lead to a relationship, and it never happens. I just get another guy friend, or something weird ends up happening and we're no longer friends for whatever reasons.<
She blinked and thought of all the totally crazy, random thoughts she could have come up with at one time. Smoke tendrils curled into her nose, smelling of cigarettes and weed. She tried to remember when that time was, but her mind was filled with a caricature of them all as kids from That 70’s Show, sitting around a table smiling and laughing. She would defi
I've been finding lately that my diet consists mainly of tobacco and weed. But I have eighty dollars, groceries, a bag and a pack of cigarettes, and don't have anything else to spend it on. If only I could decide what I want to buy with it, and just BUY IT!!!! I thought about shit for a while, but I just don't know if I can do tha
I love your stuff. ~Anne
I wish I had someone to wake me up and make me put my socks and shoes on and go to class... I can hardly do it on my own That means I hate myself, since I'm the one who ends up forcing me to do it! Oh, poor me! J/K. But I still would like a "Mommy" here!! ~Anne
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