Angloesque

Reply to Would You Be Offended If You Received This Gift? in Misc JoeUser Forums

Yeah, until we had this discussion. -A.

Reply to Would You Be Offended If You Received This Gift? in Misc JoeUser Forums

I might leave this window open on the computer for that very reason. -A.

Reply to Would You Be Offended If You Received This Gift? in Misc JoeUser Forums

the pillow is not only an emotional comfort, but that its shape keeps the body balanced by supporting the sleeper from both sides. I can barely sleep in the same bed as my husband, let alone sleep with his arm around me. Perhaps I should be sure this is not what he thinks I want for Christmas...? Though

Reply to Just say NO to a Division 1-A College Football playoff in Sports & Leisure JoeUser Forums

I am prepared to defend my anti-playoff position from anyone who disagrees with me, and I am sure there are people out there who do. I want to be disagreeable just to make you work your brain, but I guess I just don't care about college football quite enough. I will say, however, that I'm thril

Shoving help down a family member's throat in Home & Family JoeUser Forums

I started to blog under the title "This whole job thing is seriously cutting down my blog time," but since then have had a phone call from my mother. Here are the contents of that phone call. Numbers 1 and 4 are of particular importance to my point. 1) Starting with the moral of this number's story: Old people shouldn't drive. My step-grandmother struck anoth

Reply to How to be an internet drama queen in Humor JoeUser Forums

I'm mortally offended! You have no idea what I've been through this past year. I can't believe you're holding all that against me. WHY CAN'T YOU PEOPLE JUST TRY TO UNDERSTAND? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU UNFEELING, UNGRATEFUL, UNCOMPASSIONATE, LIFELESS, SOULLESS HUMANS? -asolitarytear. Oh, I'm so sorry I wrote that. Please forgive me. I'll do b

Reply to "friday five" ... gonna find out who's naughty or nice in Philosophy JoeUser Forums

1/ What would you most like to get this year? Shags in the morning. Or when we're home for lunch. Or after work, or before dinner, or, well, all the time, I guess. 2/ What would you least like to get? My period. Damn Mother Nature. 3/ What's the best you have had in the past? Yeah, I'm going to go with my skiis. I have a great pair of Soloman parabolic skiis that make the moguls fly by. <b

Reply to You might be a parent. . . in Home & Family JoeUser Forums

All I can think of are reasons I don't want to be a parent. And most of them you enumerate: poopoo, peepee, and toilets.... -A.

Reply to Wouldn't you like to smack your young self sometimes? in Life Journals JoeUser Forums

Yeah. Here's what I wrote when I broke up with my first boyfriend: I'm not a victim of circumstance I'm not helpless at your first glance I can go through life on my own I'm not afraid to be alone. -A., age 14 Yeah, what the hell did I know about love at that age? (Or, come to think of it, now?) -A.

Reply to I must be illiterately stupid in Misc JoeUser Forums

Hey, Raven, you're back. Tip of the iceburg? Let's hope not. But you're probably right. If NASA scientists, customer service reps, tortilla chip stockers (ha, wrote "stalkers" first) and I all have four-week trainings, then the world is a silly, silly place. I'm ready to tear my hair out, fashion it into a wig, and throw it at (one of) my supervisor(s). It's frustrating to feel

Reply to I must be illiterately stupid in Misc JoeUser Forums

earplugs and nap... D'ya think they'd notice? -A.

Reply to Crazy News in Current Events JoeUser Forums

I knew there was a reason I should shop on eBay more...things are cheaper there, right? Ugh. My grandmother-in-law has become an eBayer in the last decade. Her office went from being clean and airy to cramped, dusty, and full of utter crap. -A.

Reply to I must be illiterately stupid in Misc JoeUser Forums

True. Money = good at this point. Actually, you make a fair point about observing the coworkers. I think that's important to having good working relationships and it's easier to come about that by observing. Bitching about work actually makes me feel pretty guilty, having gone through my unemployment...phase/months/bout/drought/era/yougettheidea. So I officially feel bad. (Feel

Reply to Ruminations on the progression of Alias in TV Shows JoeUser Forums

I'm sorry, did you say "Alias"? ^---^ that's ears perking up, in case you can't tell. I can't, actually. You know what they say... if they're doing it off-screen, there's nothin' going on ON-screen. (Okay, I learned that on Friends, but still...Joey's one smart guy.) But now that Jennifer Garner and Michael Vartan (woo woo!) are broken up, it should get good. Also J.J. Abrams promised to mak

I must be illiterately stupid in Misc JoeUser Forums

The orientation to my new job takes four weeks. FOUR WEEKS! I know NASA programmers who have shorter orientations than this. Furthermore, I get to sit through ten hours of training to use a program I already know, own, and use often. And here's the kicker: Today one of my many, many supervisors sat me down for two and a half hours and READ THE STUPID STAFF MANUAL OUT

Reply to How to sanitize your expletives in Humor JoeUser Forums

it just goes to show that spelling really doesn't matter If that were true, I wouldn't have a job. -A.

Reply to I'm elated I finally finished a NY Times Crossword in Misc JoeUser Forums

I remember when I finished my first NYT puzzle. I was eight and my parents took me out to eat afterward. Later, I was diagnosted as a compulsive liar. Congrats. -A. edit: I'm leaving "diagnosted" because it's funny. -a.

Reply to How to sanitize your expletives in Humor JoeUser Forums

I rarely ever use expletives, and only do so for emphasis And I think that goes to show your expertise as a writer: if you rarely use them and are still a popular blogger, obviously they're unnecessary. -A.

Reply to Top Cheesy Movie Lines -- Add Your Own Here! in Misc JoeUser Forums

Legolas in "LOTR: The Return of the King": "Ah, a diversion ..." Yes, thank you blondie. Heard it didn't get laughs everywhere, but our theatre erupted with laughter when he said that--as if it weren't obvious. -A.

Reply to The most scared I have ever been in Blogging JoeUser Forums

That would scare me, too. If I were either you or S. I don't have a whole lot else to say. I'm not going to preach or confess, but I did read this with interest and a bit of identification here and there. An eternal optimist though, this one moment of naivety has created a responsible young man, and my fear has turned in

Reply to How to sanitize your expletives in Humor JoeUser Forums

WH! Prt t 's blg!!! Yeah, I'm such a party animal. Great fukking blog. I loved the f-ing humor. You are

Reply to How to sanitize your expletives in Humor JoeUser Forums

And hey, you guys helped me break the 10,000 point barrier. Wowsers. -A.

Reply to How to sanitize your expletives in Humor JoeUser Forums

Chip--wht gd d lvng vwls t. knd f mks t hrd t rd, th(gh). (what a good idea leaving vowels out. kinda makes it hard to read, though (I think "ough" is functioning as a vowel, but put it in to be kind). Hamster, heh, there should be some hierarchy, so I made one, but the apostrophizers are still in the wrong. And also I'm talking out of me arse. Hierarchy, schmierarchy. -

How to sanitize your expletives in Humor JoeUser Forums

Don't use the word "fuck"! Whatever you do, don't! Instead, you need to learn how to sanitize this and other expletives so you come across as a sensitive, thoughtful, brilliant writer who has a good grasp of the Engrish language. (For today's discussion, however, we'll stick to the word "fuck." It's such a fun one.) For starters, here are the main options

Reply to Safety does NOT Mean Absence of Risk in Current Events JoeUser Forums

We have bicycle helment laws in our state because idiots who didn't wear them got hurt, don't have health insurance, and end up raising the costs of the health care industry. Yay. Even then, our low-income residents don't wear them. And yet the legislature can pat themselves on the back and say they've made the world safer. <TD class="mb-Body-Quote-Te