Sorry Cap'n {Urrrrp}. Was feasting on them birds they got in this here land.

Now I 'opes ye be speakin' o' them thar scrub turkeys there abouts, n' not tha near nekkid hula wenches....I be fine wiv a bit o' neckin' n' canoodlin', but I'm not one fer cannibalism.

I found the Doc's stash and hav' been partakin' of it Capt'n.....of rum that is

Arrrgghh, ye be a right royal pisspot, ta. But 'ere, I'll give 'e a little tip! When ye've emptied Doc's keg, refill it wiv cold tea n' a bit o' rum essence....wiv a mouthful o' bird he'd ne'er know tha diff'rence.

Juss as well ye didn' git inta 'e's other stash....I 'ears when it be mixed wiv rum ye can see sea monsters n' tha like. But thar agin, ye'd be as 'igh as a KITE, n' if one o' tha sails tored, us could run ye up tha mast ta catch tha wind.

Now I 'opes ye be speakin' o' them thar scrub turkeys there abouts, n' not tha near nekkid hula wenches....I be fine wiv a bit o' neckin' n' canoodlin', but I'm not one fer cannibalism.

Aye, I cud speak sometin here, but I doan want this to get an X rating.

Aye, I cud speak sometin here, but I doan want this to get an X rating.

Aarrrrggghhh.....best then ye keep them thar utterances under wraps/be'ind closed doors....besides, it be rude ta speak wiv yer mouth full.

Asides, I kin read tha book when ye writes yer memoirs....juss don' fergit tha illustrations.

Asides, I kin read tha book when ye writes yer memoirs....juss don' fergit tha illustrations.

Tha will be a tail to tell.

Tha will be a tail to tell.

Aaarggghh....and with tha self-explanatory illustrations it'd be bound fer tha bestest seller list within a day o' bein' released.

Dr Guy, that's not exactly the kind of bird I had in mind....guess you've selected that type for the G rated abridged version.

Personally. I can't wait for the unabridged adult version that graphically portrays dastardly buccaneer behaviour at its best (worst).....

Besides, ye should know, while childrens books sell reasonably well, it be tha spicy adventures that grab an audience by tha short n; curlies n' glue 'em to tha pages 'til 'em reaches tha back cover n' they be left thirstin' fer more....

Best ye git ta more a heap more misbehavin' fer a sequel er three..

guess you've selected that type for the G rated abridged version.

Aye, this be a PG rated blog. Would not want to offend the leetle kiddies.

Aye, this be a PG rated blog. Would not want to offend the leetle kiddies.

Nope, can't have that, can we....so hurry up n' git ta work on tha other version, I be lackin' fer a bit o' excitemint an' adventure in me life since tha missus cancelled me subscription ta Playboy: Pirates Edition.....

Tried goin' to tha newsagent ta git meself this month's copy, but her beat me to it ....when I gits back aboard n' takes it outta the plain brown paper bag, it were a copy of 'Horse n' Hound instead.

Nope, can't have that, can we....so hurry up n' git ta work on tha other version, I be lackin' fer a bit o' excitemint an' adventure in me life since tha missus cancelled me subscription ta Playboy: Pirates Edition.....

Me always wonderd what they did with them peg legs in that book.

Me always wonderd what they did with them peg legs in that book.

Me too, but I 'ears an aging pop stars missus be considerin' modelling comeback, so p'raps her'll find a use fer 'em .....

In fact, one o them thar pichure taking fellers were sayin' 'e don't need 'is peg leg anymore, NOT since movin' o'er frum Time Magazine ta Playboy: Pirates Edition....so thar'd be a spare floatin' threabouts in just 'er size.

I also 'ears thar be a couple o' crewmen using peg arms as well - ta be lookin' all innocent while they misbehavin' wiv female crew members. What 'em be doin' is puttin' their peg arm n' one good one in thar pockets, while they be pinchin' tha wenches butts wiv tha other good un n' be lookin' tha other way all innocent like. Arrrggghh!!!! Now I juss be awaitin' fer tha ship's carpenter ta fashion n' be fittin' mine.

On another note: did anyone else notice the original blog posting has been revised to be rather more pleasant than its forebear?

Good on ya GuyPC, it pleases me greatly to see the more amiable approach, as I'm sure others are also. It's really not such a bad place....even if it don't always work as one would like due to recoding/revamping, etc. It's still a pretty good place to visit, and the folk around here are generally terrific people to know & communicate with. Let's just say that the past is where it belongs -in the past - and the invitation to join in a bit of tomfoolery remains open to you....it is, after all. your blog originally, so why not contribute items of interest a few humorous anecdotes, etc.

I be right, hey crew, thar be no grudges or ill feelin's aboard this ere bucket, right!!!

Me always wonderd what they did with them peg legs in that book.

Me too, but I 'ears an aging pop star's missus be considerin' a modelling comeback, so p'raps her'll find a use fer one of 'em .....

In fact, one o them thar pichure taking fellers were sayin' 'e don't need 'is peg leg anymore, NOT since movin' o'er frum Time Magazine ta Playboy: Pirates Edition....so thar'd be a spare floatin' threabouts in just 'er size.

I also 'ears thar be a couple o' crewmen using peg arms as well - ta be lookin' all innocent while they misbehavin' wiv female crew members. What 'em be doin' is puttin' their peg arm n' a good un in thar pockets, while they be pinchin' tha wenches be'inds wiv tha other good 'and n' be lookin' tha other way all innocent like. Arrrggghh!!!! Now I juss be awaitin' fer tha ship's carpenter ta fashion n' be fittin' mine.

On another note: did anyone else notice the original blog posting has been revised to be rather more pleasing than its forebear?

Good on ya PC, I'm pleased to see the more amiable approach, as I'm sure others are too. It's really not such a bad place....even if it don't always work as one would like, due to recoding/revamping, etc. Still, it's a pretty good place to visit, and generally the folk around here are terrific, pleasant people to know & communicate with. Let's just say that the past is where it belongs -in the past - and the invitation to join in a bit of tomfoolery remains open to you. It is, after all, your blog originally, so why not feel free to contribute items of interest, a few humorous anecdotes, etc.

I be right, hey crew, thar be no grudges or ill feelin's aboard this ere bucket, right!!!

On another note: did anyone else notice the original blog posting has been revised to be rather more pleasing than its forebear?

I not be notin it until you said so. Me thinks he gave up the ghost of his protest. Mayhaps I will google his name and check him out, if his bark has mellowed.

if his bark has mellowed.

I certainly hope so.....he'd be a much happier and more likable person here for it.

I've had some pretty shitty things happen in my life over the years, but in lightening up, maintaining a sense of humour and not letting inconsequential things get to me, all those shitty things seem all the more insignificant, particularly when I know of so many more people far worse off than myself.....

When my stepdaughter ran away from home at age 15 to behave inappropriately, I thought it was the end of the world and went into a emotional/mental slump. Thing is, whether I like it or not, frequent reports let us know she is surviving and still alive.... which is a considerably better position to be in than the parents of abducted children, not knowing whether or not their kids are okay....

To add further discomfort, I suffer with a debilitating spinal condition and osteo arthritis, so with each passing year my mobility decreases and I'm unable to enjoy many of the activities I enjoyed as a younger man.....but hey, I adapted and found new interests requiring less physical exertion, so I still feel like I'm enjoying a full and interesting life despite some limitations....

Thing is, I can still walk and get around, albeit not as robustly as before, but there are others who can not due to paralysis, etc, so I still consider myself to be rather fortunate and am thankful for what I'm still able to do. I can still laugh and share a joke, I can still get on the net and communicate with some amazing & very interesting people.....and if I find that I'm unable open a JU blog, I'll just come back to the WC forums and pester the crap outaa everyone here.

pester the crap outaa everyone here.

AYE CAPT'N!!!!! an now that tha tears be dryin' up in me ol' eye I be sayin' cheers to ya and a robust HERE, HERE!!!!


Bloody hell, ye been in tha cabbage, ya scurulous seadog...ya self absorb'd inconsiterate blight of the bounty sea...ya...ya...ya skunk!!!!!!

an now that tha tears be dryin' up in me ol' eye

Now be they tears yer duty as Ship's Chaplain ta show tha poor ol' cap'n some compashun ....or be they cos tha cook got ye peelin' onions or her missed a fish bone an' it be caurght in yer throat....or be it tha lingerin' aroma of me ol' (long past) curried cabbage days?

Bloody hell, ye been in tha cabbage, ya scurulous seadog..

Nope, not this time, tho me thinks tha cook be puttin' summat in tha grub that be a bit orf n' causin' tha whole crew ta be trouser coughin' wiv unusual regularity. Must be bad, even tha most lady-like wenches aboard be bloomer blowin'....one even 'ad ta climb tha mizzen mast ta retrieve 'ers...now that were a sight fer sore eyes.

me thinks tha cook be puttin' summat in tha grub

Aaarrgghhh, me be havin' words with tha cook shurin as ye be tha Capt'n

Aaarrgghhh, me be havin' words with tha cook shurin as ye be tha Capt'n

It not be juss wurds her needs, it be replacin' wiv sumbody who can read a repice book n' foller tha instructions all proper like. Gorg were sayin' he don' need 'is UFO ta take orf anymore...tha stew her cooks up produces enough propellant fer 'im ta lift orf wivout it.

Ere, PC, why be 'e beltin' that thar poor ol' nag like that....e'll git up of he's own accord after e's nap.

Asides frum that, us don't allow 'orses aboard this 'ere vessel....not only do 'em put me crew in 'arms way when they gits ta gallopin' about tha decks, tha manure'd be right royally orf cos o' tha curried cabbage....and cos it sticks to yer boots like glue if ye 'appens ta accidentally step in it.

Aye, I see the author peekin in again. Seems he is into abusing dead equines, or mayhaps they be mules. As in stubborn as.

Seems he is into abusing dead equines,

Dunno it were a dead un....more like it were one o' tha Joe User nags - n' it wouldn' git up ta werk fer 'im neither.

Poor PC....first Joe User didn't wanna werk fer 'im, then tha nag didn' wanna neither. P'raps he be needin' ta see tha saw bones fer a humour injection to tha funny bone afore 'e be 'avin' a larf wiv us.

Ok Ok...I need to step in here. If i get sued, good luck! I dont have any money anyway. GuyPC you are a paranoid putz in need of a tinfoil suit and all together changing what you had originally posted will not make you look any better in our eyes or the courts for that matter, nor will it save you! I'm sure somewhere someone has record of the absolute nonsense you were spewing when all this began...I wonder if you act the same way in public as you do on the computer? you may be able to fix PC's but you obviously do not know how to conduct yourself on them...my suggestion, stick to repairing computers b/c the damage you have done to your "good name" is unrepairable...

Reply #666

Ooooo scary!

thats right...time to give the devil his due

thats right...time to give the devil his due

Sorry Skinhit, but I dunno thar be a comparison 'ere.

I see'd that thar Peter Cook n' Dudley Moore fill'm wot were called 'Bedazzled', and as I 'members it, tha Devil (Peter Cook) 'ad rather good manners. He might've been a bit devious like, but he were certainly were well spoke'd.

Also see'd tha Brendan Fraser, Liz Hurley redo of it, where her whar tha devious devil n' tryin' ta take poor ol Brendan's soul....

Now thar be one 'orny devil I'd like ter be payin' a few dues ta...