Uncle Pontius - congrats, mate!

Yup I just started a tiny. Can't play for too long though. I'm sleeping about 18 hours a day at the moment. I reworked an old game for more points the other day but the score degrader took off more than I earned. Oh well. HEHE.

The neighbor's baby came, sister's baby came. Now it's heal up in time for xmas shopping and decorating.. HEHE.

The Geektrix Rescrambled.

Disclaimer. I wrote this before the latest bath of meta moving. I considered changing it for pc reasons but naaaaaaah, it's still funny. So if you're easily upset, read no further.

Part 1.

In the halls of the temple of Carielf.

Carielf: It's gonna be trouble to heal him. But he is the one.
Karmagirl: Bah!!! Forget that Elvish schitt. Let a witch handle this!!! POOOOF!!!!!!!

Suddenly, there is excessive giggling among the females. "Should we tell?" "I'm not gonna tell, you tell." "No I'm not gonna tell."

Trinity: Tell what? Yawwwwwwwwwn Say I look good in tight shiny pants. WTF am I? And what's this pain and bloated feeling in my stomach? Man I gotta piss. First tree on the right?

Both Goddesses: You are the one my dear. (giggles) You need to meet up with your mates at the Inn of the Glue Factoried Pony and get to the source before it's too late.

Trinity leaves
Carielf: Boy you really are a witch!!!
Karmagirl: Yup. Wonder how long it will take her to figure out?
Carielf: Who knows with these mortals?


Later, at the Inn of the Glue Factoried Pony.
Trinity: Give me the God Damned Ale or I'll run you through with this Cutlass!!!!
Barkeep. Ok, Ok lass. No need to get onry. Say you remind me of someone....

Gerakken: I think she's the one, come on boys let's take her to the Oracle.

Boom Boom Boom Dee boom de boom.

Please fasten your seatbelts.

Ring ring ring... We're in again.

The oracle will see you now.

Gerakken. Well it's a rainbird. But is it a rooster or a hen?
BP: Why I don't know? It's hideous. Almost like it was once a snake or something.

Trinity pulls her cutlass. THWACK!!!!!! "Well it's a hen now. Talk BirdBrain or I'll finish the job."

Rainbird: You must find the keymaker. He is being held by your arch nemesis, who will not give him up easily. I hate giving you such bad news. You have an evil soul. And I like evil souls. Here, have a rainbird cookie they taste just like rice cakes. It's time for me to go.

Trinity: Uh no I never accept white dried patties from a bird....

Rainbird and her enterouage fly away.


Suddenly what looks like an agent comes walking in.
Former agent Wombie

"Mr. Anderson."

Trinity: Hello Uh do I look like a mr. to you?

Wombie: Everything is so scrambled lately, you must still be Mr. Anderson. And something you did to me remains a mystery. But I'm no longer an agent. You've set me free.

Trinity: Boy aint that the truth. I always thought Ray was the head agent. Congratulations.

Wombie: Ray was just a flash in the pan. A newbie program destined for deletion. Trouble is you took my purpose. Without Purpose, we are doomed.
Wombie #2: without Purpose, there is no direction.
Wombie #3: without Purpose, there is no hope
Wombie #4: It is purpose that unites us
Wombie #5: It is purpose that defines us

Wombie thrusts his hand into Trinity: "Relax. It will all be over quickly.

Trinity concentrates and the black marks fade. Wombies hand is thrust back out.

Suddenly a song starts playing and the fight was on. Trinity held her own against the Wombats.

Trinity: These damn Vermin. Breed like schitt!!!!!!

EVERYBODY WAS KUNG-FO FIGHTING.
OH SHE WAS FAST AS LIGHTNING.
THOSE WOMBATS WERE OH SO FRIGHTNING
..........

Suddenly out of nowhere.
Agent Gengsta You.
Wombat thrusting his hand into agent Gengsta "Yes. Me Me Me."
Yet another Wombie Me too now adjust my tie so I can go fight.

Both Wombats join in the fray.

EVERYBODY WAS KUNG-FO FIGHTING...
........
......


Finally, Trinity drew her Cutlass and was smashing the former agent Wombats all over the place....

Wombat More

"You see Mr. Anderson, it is inevitable.

Finally Trinity flies out of the courtyard.

Wombat: Come along family. We'll head them off in the corridor.

The Geektrix rescrambled.

Part 2. Rescuing the keymaker.

Trinity, Gerakken, and Hg go up the elevator.

Garceau, we're here to see Impune.

Impune: I like ze french wine, I like ze french yogurt. You want ze keymaker, I wish to know why? You zee, everthing is cause and effect. See zat woman over there...Ooooo she knows not why.....

Suddenly the woman gets up and slaps impune. That's for your stupid program!!!

Impune: I zee no reason to give you the keymaker, now I have further business to discuss. Suddenly twin drop bears appear out of nowhere.

Trinity: That damn Frenchy is gonna get it.
Impune: I AM NOT FREEEEENNNCH.

Later, in the elevator a gorgeous woman walks in.
"You want the keymaker, I want a kiss."
Trinity. "Here's your kiss.. Smoooooooooch, Coat Tail is mesmerized.

WHOA!!!! Said Hg, How'd she do that?
I don't know said Gerakken but it's pretty kinky.

The woman led them back to the keymakers room. The gang was surprised to see that the keymaker was indeed and amphibion.

FROGBOY!!!!

Frogboy: I've been waiting for you. Here is the key. You must go into the source with it.


Twin Trouble:


Meanwhile, Impune walks in with his hired guns.
Get the Keymaker you two.!!!

Suddenly two drop bears drop out of the ceiling, half in phase and half out of phase. It's Killa and his sidekick cypher.

Trinity: Go get the keymaker, I'll handle everyone else.

Impune: You.. Handle me? your predecessor Mr. Pilot was far more respectful.

"Uh Boss." No he wasn't.

Everyone was kung fu fighting......


Meanwhile, Gerakken and Hg run into the parking garage after the key maker. Blam blam blam!!!! One of the drop bears is shot, it's arm bleeding while sticking through the door. The other one does it's phase out thing and gets through the door.

Meanwhile Trinity comes bursting through with her Cutlass. ha..... The gang hops into a car and heads for the freeway....

Agent Wombat!

[Checks self in mirror] "Damn, I'm lookin' good...." LOL

Part 3,
The corridor and the architect.

Trinity, Gerakken, and HG reach the corridor full of doors.

Wombat: You know what's good about being me? There's lots of me....

EVERYONE WAS KUNG-FU FIGHTING.......

Suddenly the door bursts open killing the keymaker. Out pops Cotal.

Get your azzez in here you dolts. All of you.

Trinity, Wombat, and everyone start heading toward the door.

Cotal: No stupid, just Wombat, the original.

WOMBAT: HA!!!! =op~~~~~~~ TOLD YOU I'M THE ONE WITH THE PURPOSE DIDN'T I? DIDN'T I? WHO'S THE MAN????


Trinity walks up to Wombat, gives him a scorpion kick and shoves him through the doorway.

Wombat: HA HA IT'S THE FLOWER GIRL. THE COAT TAIL.

Cotal leads him to a room with a bunch of screens.
"Sit down. I am the architect."

Wombat: You? no? It can't be?

Cotal: your primitave non-geek mind probably won't understand a thing I say. But you are the residual remainder of a set of unbalanced geek equations. You see the first geektrix was a disaster. Then, the oracle stumbled on a solution whereby 99.994% would accept the D and D rules if they were given a choice. Yet, the unbalance remains untill it must be reconciled to the program once again. I prefer to iterate from Myself changing from one empire to the next destroying the weak bleeding hearts as their scores plummet back to oblivion. And we are getting increasingly effective at it. On those terms this is the 7th iteration of the geektrix.

Wombat: But you're just a flower girl,,, a coat tail...

Cotal: Yes that's what you all thought. Even Pontius.
Oh he's dead Wombat. He escaped the Geektrix entirely. Zion wasn't fooling him a bit. We can't have him converting everyone to pirates now can we? So walk through that door, hand pick your people to rebuild zion, and start the next iteration. Pontius is dead anyway.

Wombat: Yes maam.


To be continued.





[Message Edited]
[Message Edited]

HEHE when i read how fast wombats breed I just had to slate you as smith. HEHE.

Wombie, you always did look SHARP in a black tie.

Pontius, if this is going where I think it's going, the reunion with Mrs. Pontius is going to be a classic.

It could be... Could be.... I might have someone else write that part for me.. HEHE.

Anyway, I'm tired and must be off to bed.... Enjoy the story. No insults intended. Like I said, I wrote it mainly before the last brew ha ha of the meta which I wasn't here to see and tried rewriting it, but it stunk. So I went with the original.

Why rewrite? Good art is always better than bad reality.

Hear, hear.

Hear, hear too! (I think)

I've always pictured you and cypher the drop bears with dreadlocks.... HEHE.

The Geektrix rescrambled

Part 4. The source.

Wombat knew he had to do as he was told. So he walked through the door into the source. Much to his surprise it was a kitchen. And what's this? All the wives were there scrambling eggs.

Wombat: say what?

Wives (giggling)

Mrs Wombat: Oh surely you must know. We are the true architects of this thing. You don't think we were oblivious to your piratings and jewelry heists do you?

Wombat: Well uh.

Suddenly CRASH!!!!!! TRINITY BUSTS DOWN THE DOOR. Everyone hold it right there.

WIVES: (More Laughter)

Mrs Pontius: Hi there Bopkins. Lets say we bring in the rest of the geektrix gang shall we?

All: Bopkins? WTF is she talking about. Pontius is dead isn't he?

Mrs Pontius: Why no. The Elves turned him into Trinity. We wanted him to see how the fairer sex lives. Pity, it's too bad we couldn't get him prego.

Wombat: What? Holy schitt cap'n in tight leather?

Trinity: OUCH!!!! WHO PINCHED MY...... Oh you Daffy Duck take that...... (trinity gives the quack a scorpion kick across the bill. Then draws her Cutlass.

Mrs Pax. Oh don't worry Pontius, you weren't told, you can change your form at will. You're a shape shifter. The father of the entirety of the Geektrix.

Dr. Quinn: And I it's mother.
Cassiopia: No, me.
Dr Quinn: No you tramp Me.
Cassiopia: No you man robbing tramp me.

Mrs Pontius. Girls....now is not the time.

The Quack: But uh I thought I was the product of one of Dr. Quinn's other affairs?

Mrs. Pontius: You were, but Pontius wasn't Pontius in that iteration of the matrix. He was someone else.

Quinn: Damn Pontius, you sure get around don't ya? What do you call a male slut?

Trinity: Lucky?
Killa: Stud?
Bp: Cool
Cypher: Kobe Bryant? Wilt Chamberlin?
The women: Drone





Mrs. Pontius. It's time for the rescramble. Girls get your eggs. Boys you just go out of the room, except for Trinity here and everything will be all right soon.


The Quack: Say those are DUCK EGGS!!! along with the chicken eggs. NOOOOOOO!!!!


Wombat: You mean the geektrix is nothing more than an omelet?

Mrs Pontius: Oh it's much more, but it's genesis is in these eggs. I'm sure you boys have learned who wears the pants around here by now. The Geektrix is nothing more than a control to keep you boys in line.

Mrs Ray: Sort of like the Home Depot and Comp USA.

Trinity: Yeah you mean like sex?

Wives (laughter) Yes!!!!!!! that too. Now go throught that door, so the next iteration can begin. Cotal, we're ready for the scramble.....

Mrs. Pax: Yup. Now Cyper, we need more power tools to add on to that gazebo.

Mrs Wombat: And you know dear, it's getting spring time round here. Time to wash the siding, Clean out the gutters.

Killa's Partner: You know Killa, that lawn is getting mighty long out there. Time to mow and fertilize.

The men and trinity: GROANNNNNN.

Everyone walks through the door and to their surprise, it's the Pub and restraunt at the Inn of the Dead Pony. Suddenly, none of them, except the women, remember how they got there.

Killa: Say boys, I think I'd better not join you tonight. I better go mow the lawn.

Trinity: Now that's the spirit!!! My Bopkins is gonna do the same thing.
Pontius: A younger more dashing Pontius: Honey, don't call me that in front of the guys.......
Trinity: (giggles) Come along. We'll see you later Mabel, Elizabeth:

Mrs Wombat enters the pub. WOMBIE!!!!!!!! you have gutters to clean. You'd better get em done if you want any you know what......
Pontius: snicker snicker.
Trinity: Oh you laugh now. Wait till you get home......No puter for you There are leaves to rake, fences to mend. And have you changed the oil lately?
Oh and don't forget the transmorgifrier. It needs an infusion of protoplasm.
Pontius: the wha?
Trinity: I'll explain it when we get home.


Cotal: Before you all go, we have some nice scrambled egg's for breakfast. With Bacon, sausage and all the trimmings. Mussent go to work an an empty stomach.

I'm about 2/3 through a tiny. Should take maybe an hour or two to complete and Taxes paid for the empire either tomorrow or the next day depending on time....

FIGHT ON!!!!

I've been busy trying to put a few aliens in line myself. No pacifistic game this time. Only two small wars so far, but things started to get pretty ugly when the two superpowers of the map allied. It will be me vs. them eventually, but so far this unholy Drengin/Altarian alliance is picking on the minors, Yor and Torians. I should have this one in the bag by tomorrow.

Nice to see the fight against the Geektrix goes on

ANNOUNCING THE SECOND ANNUAL HOBBIT TOSSING OLYMPIAD.

That's right. Get your entry in by next week. Describe your character and his tossing technique to enter.

Be warned: strict weigh-in rules apply. Anyone found to be throwing a hobbit under the minimum weight will regret it.

To get the farthest throwing distance, I always grab them by the hair on their feet, twirl and twirl, and let em go.

~SDC~

The Metaverse Review is out!

Special Friday Edition!
http://metaversereview.joeuser.com

Headlines Include:

~ Galactic Civilizations: The Altarian Prophecy
~ Battle Wages at 2,3,4 spots
~ Horrible Hobbit Tossing Contest

And Much More!

I'm contemplating crumpling my hobbit into a ball and throwing the hobbit in a soccer-style throw-in.

I practiced the twirl and hurl approach until my first hobbit got away. This approach has two main drawbacks.
1. I got dizzy.
2. The hobbit was not stunned and I had to run him down between throws.

Good luck, everyone!

I hook em by the belt and twirl em around like I'm throwing a discus. Others use more of a shotput technique. Rest assured we will draw Hobbits for throwing by random lot.


And don't miss in a few weeks our Dwarf tossing contest.

Guaranteed to be a bit more challenging than the hobbit contest! Dwarves are a nasty lot, especially if they haven't had anything to drink in a while!