Banned for hiding fine tools in the fine print...dunno that I'd hollow out a cook book to hide spy equipment, tho.

Banned for leaving the space between the lines.  Could install laser beams...

Banned for that's how Dr. Smith got Lost in Space... was too busy reading between the lines when Jupiter II took off.....

banned for *unprintable*

Banned for it's printable orright... though probably not so acceptable in mixed company

Banned for not accepting mixed company. If I want to get my jollies by watching a Vulcan singing about Hobbits surounded by 60's Pixie Chicks, that's my business.

Rest in peace, Mr. Nimoy.

Banned for getting your rocks off over Hobbits when Pixie Chicks are nicer looking and have bumps in the right places... and banned for not knowing that to circumcise a whale you need to send down four skin divers.

  Banned for being mistaken about the four skin divers.  The whale was a victim of circumstances,  I mean circumcision.   Not to be confused with the wailing wall.

banned for wailing instead of whaling

Banned for 4 skin divers went whaling and apparently came back with a whelk from Western Wales instead.... said they did it on porpoise.

banned for whale sized punage

Banned for whale tales.

And also banned for not creating cupboards that can be removed and replaced with another style. Just hook up or unhook. Hang like a curtain.  Maybe rentals..?

Banned for old Mother Hubbard going to her cupboard to fetch a stray doggy a bone, but when she bent over the tramp pooch took over and gave her a bone of his own.

Yeah, he dug it up in Pet Cemetary and wouldn't part with it until he saw Mrs Hubbards juicy femur.

Humerus ban. 

Banned for no, it wasn't her humerus... it was definitely her leg he chomped into.

Banned for hearsay and conjecture.

Banned because I hear you say conjecture when in fact it is a fact that Old Mother Hubbard eventually died with only one femur and a tramp hound contesting her will for the other.

Banned for cats are definitely the way to go. Lucky for me I am a Cat perSion and don't have to worry about  such carnivorous doggy adventures. . meow

banned for not realizing that cats are carnivorous and can be bigger than dogs

Banned for tall tails.

Banned for not realizing I am speaking of the domestic catto. 

Banned for catto... that's the stuff they put in kitty-litter trays, isn't it?

banned for littering

Banned for trying to keep the populace illiterate, and attempting to dissuade littering. It is as repugnant as chaining Prometheus to the rock for giving the people fire. As literacy is the spark that will bring fire to the mind.

Banned for getting way too philosophical when fun is supposed to be the prime purpose 'round these 'ere parts... as for giving people fire, only if they wanna do a Guy Fawkes and light the fuse that Kingdom Come's the T. Abbott government.