Banned for expecting me to..... and banned for referencig cultural stuff with a slice of apple pie.

banned for slicing up apples

Banned for I like a nice pair.... um, I mean, pear.... and pear pie is nice as well.

banned for pearing up

Banned for interrupting the lass while she split the peach, pureed the pomegranate and polished the pair.

And you should see what she can do with a pound of plums.

banned for being plum out of your mind

Banned for not asking, why the b in plumber?  

Banned for the Y in not... and do plumbers get more nooky at work than they do at home, or is that a big pork pie [lie] to make other tradesmen jealous?

Banned for pork pie lie.  And my plumber rocks.   no mayB    

Banned for letting your plumber put rocks in your pipes... just gives him an excuse to come back to fix things.... not to mention high hopes.

Banned for you only go around once you know. Your pipes might as well work properly?

banned for going around only once

Banned for not going 'round at all.... yer pipes don't know what they're missing.

banned for thinking my pipes need something

Banned for a man's pipes always needs fixing...

banned for trying to fix the stars

Banned for starring in Pipes 101.

Banned for watching Pipes 101 on a neighbour's TV....  prolonged use of binoculars from your bedroom window like that 'll give you sore eyes.

banned for sighting with sore eyes

Banned for not sighting the long and short of it, nor the width and breadth of it... not to mention the insides, nor top or bottom of it.

banned for getting all complicated again

Banned for accentuating the corners.

Banned for not turning the corners.

Banned for cornering too sharply.

banned for trying to corner the market