A little bit later, in a Jedi Starfighter far, far away…
Obi-Wan glared down at the viewscreen tucked into the tiny cockpit. On the screen, a young Jedi apprentice could be seen clearly shaking at the Knight’s displeasure. From the apprentice’s viewpoint on his own screen, Obi-Wan’s face was illuminated only by the pale blue light shining up from the controls of his starfighter, giving the Knight an unearthly appearance. And judging by his expression, the Dark Side was strong with him at the moment.
“What do you mean, ‘Proceed immediately to the Canadian border?!?’” Obi-Wan intoned. “Master Yoda HIMSELF ordered me to the Naboo system two days ago to update their Galactic Web interface. You DO realize how important recruiting is for us at the moment, don’t you? You DO realize that we’re at war, don’t you?”
The young apprentice began tugging at his collar; his throat suddenly felt a bit uncomfortable. “I’m sorry, Master Kenobi, but you’re the closest ship at the moment, and this disturbance must be checked out quickly – we’ve just been informed that there’s also a Canadian scout nearby-“
“Find the next-closest ship. Kenobi out.”
72 seconds later, in the very same starfighter…
Obi-Wan peeked apprehensively at the viewscreen tucked into the tiny cockpit. On the screen, the face of Jedi Master Yoda could be seen, very clearly trembling with displeasure. And judging by his expression, the Dark Side was VERY strong with him at the moment.
“In gear, your ass will get! NOW! Six hours behind you, a Republic frigate is. If the probe’s location you have reached, and the mystery you have solved, order it NOT to fire on you, I MAY!”
Obi-Wan meekly instructed his ship’s R4 unit to dig out the approach vector for the Canadian border. He settled in for the flight.
4 hours and 22 minutes later, in the very same starfighter…
The space-time continuum reeled as the starfighter punched through the warp barrier. Shedding speed, the ship released its warp ring and settled into a long, graceful bank toward the unknown vessel.
Obi-Wan frowned at the readouts on the tiny display. “That’s odd…with the amount of damage that ship has taken, her pressure hull should have cracked like an eggshell. I’m still reading a breathable atmosphere in a few sections.”
R4 beeped and whistled inquisitively. Obi-Wan sighed. “No, R4. I’m not reading any human life forms aboard…although…there IS something alive over there. It’s a very faint reading.” He opened a comm channel. “Jedi Republic Starfighter to unknown vessel. Please respond.” He was momentarily grateful that Lando Calrissian Sr. had negotiated a deal with the Altarians for the Universal Translator technology. Obi-Wan really couldn’t stand protocol droids.
“Jedi Republic Starfighter to unknown vessel. Please respond.”
R4 began beeping and twitting with vigor. The mysterious vessel’s main comm system was apparently down, and an audio transmission was coming in on an old-fashioned carrier wave. The droid piped it into Obi-Wan’s receiver. The Jedi winced; the cloud of random gases that still surrounded the shattered starship was causing static on the transmission. Faintly, he began to hear a voice.
“[hiss…crackle] – don’t care where you’re FROM, mate, I just need a bleeding PINT!… [crackle]”
Taken aback, Obi-Wan began to formulate a reply. Suddenly, R4 began beeping insanely. “What do you mean, the warp ring’s been destroyed?!?” Obi-Wan twisted in his seat, trying to see what was happening behind him. “That ship out there doesn’t have enough power left to grill a sandwich, and we would’ve seen anything else on sensors!” He slammed the throttle levers forward, and spun the ship around. And gasped.
The ship was huge. Its scarred, pitted hull had gaps larger than the Jedi’s Starfighter, freely exposing the interior to the deathly vacuum of space. It was ancient; the faint markings of a maple leaf were emblazoned on its flanks, faded to a pale pink. The engine section was massive, obviously designed for speed and power. Bent and shattered antennas, radar dishes and unidentifiable bits of cool-looking hardware covered every surface that was still intact. As if he had suddenly opened his eyes, Obi-Wan felt an aura of diabolical evil wash through the Force, emanating from the mammoth vessel. Something was aboard that ship. Something that had once been human, but no longer. A LOT of somethings.
“R4, that’s no scout ship…it’s as big as a space station!”
The mysterious, hulking vessel drew closer. The voice on the comm channel continued to speak of the need for alcohol, but Obi-Wan knew full well that if he had any, he’d be drinking it now.
“How long before the frigate arrives?” Beep, whistle, whirr, plaintive trill. “Five hours and 52 minutes, huh?” Mournful trill. “Warp ring totally destroyed, huh?” Deathly, dirge-like trill.
“R4…I have a bad feeling about this.”
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