Permission? :notsure: Hmmm... well I guess I shouldn't drop a comment about that since I'm always asking permission to create web links in the Pirate Lagoon. Blue, you want my permission, my nick, and my empire in an e-mail? Can I just type "count me in" here?

Count me in.

thanks kitt...

I didn't want to clutter the forum with permission replys... LOL thats why I asked ppl to email me so that i could ask them personaly.. more friendly that way

Oh was that your email? It didn't have bluesteel on it. Without a connection to your name here, (you did not use your reply feature to indicate it was a reply) I dumped it. Of course you have permission.

Personally, I think ANZAC spirit is about mateship - keeping a calm head on the two-way firing range, and making sure all your mates come back in one piece. Sure, it can mean drawing a line and saying no-one will cross it, no matter the cost - but that depends on how critical the overall situation is. No offence, but this is just a game

lol, I'm just a weekend warrior - if you want some real ANZAC stories, go visit your local RSL


Oh, and the stories? Sure, write me up, go nuts.

/quack hands BlueSteel the puppet-strings for the Psychic Purple Duck of Skowbo

[Message Edited]

Wow, just realised we have quite a few very good players from Australia/NZ in the Metaverse. If we add up the scores for the six of them in the Top 50 (Jaws, Wombat, Hurley, Cotal, FriendJosh and Killa), the total score would be 407k.

These six would be a number 6 empire just by themselves.

I'm not stirring anything here. Just thought it is an impressive stat from 2 countries with a relatively small player base in the world.

and you pirates incited the mass desertion.... If they were still where they belong.. with the ANZACS we'd still be in 5th place and you'd be down to 3rd or forth... LOL .. so juast remember that..... Just goes to show just how strong the ANZACS really should be... Never mind.... I have some recruits comming up to fill the ranks...

and Quack... your not one to talk.... about bringing the ANZACS back... you came back then left again... sheesh.... I trusted you to bring your troups back safe.. but you deserted....

If you all come back thers a place in the senette for all of you

Rendezvous at Kalorama

A Quinn-Martin Production

Prologue

PontiusBruinPilot dismissed the masseurs with a flick and slid off the oiled slab. His skin glistened in the half-light of yet another destroyed world. Lodging his hands on his not inconsequential ‘handles d’amour’, Pontius ruminated on the past 6 months – the victories, the defeats, the solid marches, the burning of the cakes. The Drengin were now working children’s parties, the Yor Collective were reduced to one credit union on Smith Street, the Altarians had joined the Latter Day Saints, the Arceans were issuing local planning permits, and the Torians had finally come to terms with the fact that they LIKED to be picked on. The thought of it all made him twinge.

“Pontius, Pilates!” wagged the masseurs with knowing fingers.

“Right that’s it!” roared Pontius laconically as he washed his hands. The water ran over his calloused hands and splashed onto the tri-strontium floor of GROSS’ finest Terror Star. Pontius made a mental note not to continue hypnotherapy.

“Sir, I have some good news and some bad news”, sidled the loyal Gerakken. “The good news is you are now the master of all you survey, the bad news is…..”

An unusual amount of sweat glistened on Garakken’s loyal brow.

“You’re suffering from sperm pressure,” he gasped.

“Sperm pressure!” roared Pontius melancholically. Clearly in his insatiable thrust for galactic domination Pontius had been neglecting his insatiable thrust. He frowned thoughtfully as the family motto played out in his head like so much breaking glass.

“Don’t worry, we have a cure”, piped up Kit Warrior, ushering in the dreaded Pirates of the Southern Seas. “The Pirates have just snatched the MWC’s most luxurious vessel of pleasure, the SS Nevada.”

“Huzzah!” cried the Pirates, saluting in the nonchalant ANZAC manner that had so annoyed the imperial powers of the 20th century. The treasure of the Sierra Nevada minced voluptuously.

“Love your work!” roared Pontius gloomily, his libido rising to dangerous levels. “But there is still one more piece of work to be done.”

Eyebrows rose collectively.

Pontius paused in the moment of supreme deference. He loved those Pirates, but for all their eye patches and peg legs and ho-ho-ho’s, they still wore their tattered AFL guernseys, munched on their four ‘n twenty pies, sucked at their stubbies. Never mind that their tight shorts left little to the imagination. Their ANZAC past betrayed them, but they were good, real good. Could they be trusted? They had to be trusted. He needed them for one last mission.

“An anomaly has appeared at the Kalorama System. Not even the Eyes of the Universe can pierce its dread secret,” roared Pontius pessimistically.

The Pirates glanced at each other – The Quack, Wild Wombat, Killa Koala, AJM, Jaws Wayfarer – they all knew what this might mean. The Kalorama System was the last sighting of the dread ship ANZAC before she disappeared. Their old ship. Could she really be back?

Pontius observed their weakness. He needed the Pirates to destroy the ANZAC, but knew that the ANZAC might turn them, turn them away from the grosslight. He needed a spy.

“I can be that spy,” hissed an ancient voice.

An ancient crone stood before Pontius.

“What be thy name, old crone?” roared Pontius cynically.

“My name is Davros,” cried out the crone.

“Exterminate!” shrieked the masseurs.

“Sorry did I say Davros,” hissed the crone, “I meant Dave. Dave the Darlok”

A tear appeared in Pontius’ eye as he recalled the sweet, idle hours of youth wasted on MOO2. But he was playing a different game now.

“Make it so!” roared Pontius sardonically. He flicked a coin high into the air. It glistened in the starlight and fell into the bony grasp of Dave, the old crone.

Kit Warrior looked up from his console. “The entire sector 3,4 has realigned into a message,” he gasped:

YOUR ANZAC ESPIONAGE LEVEL IS NOW LOW

To be continued…………..

LOL LOL LOL


Now that is edgy! Will Pontius and/or Quack run with this one???

I'm not even going to quote the rest. *shudder*

Absolutely fantastic (albeit extremely disturbing) story, Evil Steve! Seems a new cultural starbase is under construction in ANZAC space.

As was explained several times by several of our southern seas gang, we incited nothing. You've obviously been corrected several times on this issue. I can only assume one of two things.

A. You took the blue pill, woke up in your bed, and believe whatever you want to believe.
b. You don't care that you're being dishonest.

Furthermore, they are where they belong. And that is whereever they wish to be.

with the ANZACS we'd still be in 5th place and you'd be down to 3rd or forth... .. so juast remember that..... Just goes to show just how strong the ANZACS really should be...

That just goes to show the lack of leadership at the top. He said himself 5th is just how strong the Anzacs really should be. 5th wouldn't even be mentioned as where the Anzacs should be under the old regime. Such low goals. 5th. Just goes to show, the true Anzac spirit is now in THE PIRATES OF THE SOUTHERN SEAS!!!!!!!

I'm not stirring anything here. Just thought it is an impressive stat from 2 countries with a relatively small player base in the world

LMAO yes you are.

"and Quack... your not one to talk.... about bringing the ANZACS back... you came back then left again... sheesh.... I trusted you to bring your troups back safe.. but you deserted...."

IIRC, the Anzac spirit also included something about a dislike of authority figures

Like I said, this is just a game, and no-one's got a monopoly on fighting spirit anyway. Besides, I'm not here to fight, what's fighting spirit got to do with it? I'm here to have fun.


Oh, what's this? A new story? Cool!

That description of Pontius with all his love-handles made me think of Baron Harkonnen. Sorry if that image sticks


“You’re suffering from sperm pressure,”

ROFL - well, that was unexpected!

“Don’t worry, we have a cure”, piped up Kit Warrior,

Okay, now I was worried. What sort of instant cure could you possibly be talking about? Please don't go there...

ushering in the dreaded Pirates of the Southern Seas.

Oh, shit! Sending us in to "cure his excess sperm pressure"? That's worse than I thought! Heeeeeelllpppp...

“The Pirates have just snatched the MWC’s most luxurious vessel of pleasure, the SS Nevada.”

Phew. That sounds more in character, at least. I can breathe easier...

they still wore their tattered AFL guernseys, munched on their four ‘n twenty pies, sucked at their stubbies.



The Book of Larceny
32:17

And lo, the northern pirates grew envious. For the southern pirates had a real sport, a national food, and a good beer, while the northern pirates had none of these. So the northern pirate leader said to the southern pirates, "Teach us your culture! We want to follow your example!"

The southern pirates looked at each other and said "Aargh, thar be seppos here!" Then, one stepped forward and replied:

"Very well. But we cannot appear in this form. All your women-folk - even the ugly ones - would be attracted to us like flies to a barbeque. We have analyzed your culture, and notice that you use animals as teachers of wisdom. Big Bird, Elmo, Barney, the list goes on. We think that's stupid, we use bananas and teddy-bears instead. But... we will work with your culture, so we shall appear as animals.

Six prophets shall we send, the first of many:

The drop-bear from the sky, and the wombat from the ground.
The shark from the sea, and the duck from the river.
The penguin from the cold, and the lizard from the heat.

Harken to these prophets, and your culture may yet be saved. For now, take these holy relics, to guide you on your quest to be fair dinkum."

And the southern pirate gave the northern pirate leader an AFL guernsey, a game ticket, a meat pie, and a beer.

So, the northern pirate put on the guernsey, went to the AFL game, and saw that it was good.

Then, he ate the meat pie, and while it was cold by now, it was still good.

Then, he tried to drink the beer. But lo, the ground-staff showed wrath at this, and did take this beer from him. But then, one of them spoke, and said he could buy another beer from the stadium bar. So the northern pirate went forth to the bar, and bought a beer, and saw that it was good.

The northern pirate went back to the north, with an AFL guernsey on his back, a beer in one hand, and a meat pie in the other.

"These guys are legends! Tip-top! We must welcome their culture with open arms!" did the pirate say.

"You're drunk." said his loyal spymaster.

And verily, he was drunk, drunk as a skunk. But no pirate dared question his ruling, so the southern pirates were welcomed - guernseys, meat pies, beer, and all.


---

Damn, I got sidetracked from the story there... oh well.

GROSS Public Statement:

It has come to our attention that certain vicious rumours have surfaced, regarding a buildup of sperm pressure in several members of the GROSS crew, including the leader. These allegations are completely unfounded. Pontius has a lovely wife, and she puts out. We also have no need for MWC pleasure cruisers - we possess the finest supply of aphrodisiacs and erotica in the known metaverse. The most erotic thing you can find on an MWC cruiser is a donkey in overalls.

Rest assured, we here at GROSS, along with all our subsidiaries, take these allegations very seriously. All pirates are required to carry out a decent amount of pillaging, drinking, and womanizing during their tour of duty. Anyone falling short in one of these areas would be severely disciplined, no matter their rank. They would also be given remedial training in how to catch up to the required standard.

We thank you for your time, and wish to remind you that GROSS is still the empire with the highest rates of debauchery in the metaverse.

GROSS Minister Of Information

---

Private e-mail, Survey Ship Of Doom Military Police

Subject: PontiusBruinPilot
Charge: Inappropriate behaviour - womanizing, lack thereof

Our investigation has revealed that Mrs. Pontius has been in the same foul mood for the last few days as the rest of the women. Also, she apparently found his secret elf maiden porn stash, and threw it all out.

Everyone suffers temporary setbacks such as these, and this "secret womens business" has shot down the chances of every man on board. With that in mind, we've dropped the investigation.

[Message Edited]

Gerakken rushed to report to Pontius. "Boss, we got an ANZAC problem."

"How so, Gunner? Those guys are a joke now."

"I believe there is a hidden starbase somewhere near sector 3,4 that is causing us problems. While it officially does not exist, private sources rumor that it is a hidden Jedi training facility th-"

The pirate lord slapped the table, "Cut your babbling and get to the point! What do the Jedi have to do with ANZAC? Both of them put together can't touch us. Why are you annoying me with a non-issue?"

Gerakken sighed and continued: "The ANZACs are going to hit us with a culture bomb. My investigation reveals that the starbase is not a mere training facility, but a Jedi party palace. A high ranking Jedi has sold the party palace in exchange for regular shipments of fine ANZAC beer. Now the new ANZAC emperor has fully upgraded it to a super party palace designed to lure our raiders away from their duties."

The boss thought about it for a second, trying to ponder what dangers this may pose: "Do they really have a chance? Not only is GROSS culture dominant in all of the Meta, but we got better beer and we even got porn! How can they threaten us?"

The Spymaster knew when it was time to leave. Graciously backing away, he replied, "I will let you return to your important duties, boss. If anything further arises, I shall report it."

Gerakken worried. BlueSteel is a wily opponent who can confound even a sophisticated intelligence gathering network. Was the party palace the real threat, or just a wild goose chase?

Our 2 active Anzacs left wake up to the following commercial.


Men!!! Do you need pressure relief? Do you have TSB? Well if you're an Anzac still in Anzac, that is clearly obvious. Come on over to the G.R.O.S.S. Galactic Mustang Ranch. Half Price Anzac tuesdays.

The Boss took the stolen MWC refitted ship out for a cruise. So they wish to take us away from our duties eh? We shall see. The rest can concentrate on their duties and all that will remain undone is a lil paperwork.

Pontius decloaks off the starbase (the correct starbase) and unleashes a plasma barage. The shields are gone and the outer ring open to space on the first salvo.

THIS IS A PRIORITY ONE DISTRESS CALL, WE ARE UNDER ATTACK BY THE M.S.S. BIBLE THUMPER. THEY MUST HAVE GOT WORD OF OUR ACTIVITIES. SEND HELP. AHHH HERE THEY COME AGAIN WE CAN'T SURVIVE ANOTHER HI.......transmission goes dead as Pontius slams the fatal plasma barage into that station. No survivors are present. Pontius Cloaks and heads back to the doom He would arive there safe and sound. That's A message is intercepted.

DANG CATTLE TIPPERS!!! THEY ALWAYS DID HATE SHEEP. TO BATTLE ANZACS.



Well that's one less competitor for the ranch. We better have extra sheep on hand. Just in case.... Just in case...

As he gets back to his quarters to pull an all nighter. Mrs Pontius has completed his paperwork for him. HECK YEA BABY... An all nighter of a different sort was about to commence. Do not disturb was hung on the office door.

Thanks for kind comments POSSe & GROSS - the bar is set very high and I was a bit nervous, but thought it was important that ANZAC reclaim it's own thread, godammit. Can someone tell me how to QUOTE so I look like I know what I'm doing? Hey Blue, was that story ok?



da evil

1) highlight text with left mouse button

2) left-click that 'Q' icon under your flag

3) thank Kit

1) highlight text with left mouse button

think i can manage that

2) left-click that 'Q' icon under your flag

this is where I get a bit dim. no button. browser prob?

3) thank Kit

thanx kit. just because we're ANZAC's don't mean we got no manners.

and so i proved that i iz deep down a flowerboy

Good stuff Steve - let your creative stuff go, mate!

Say it with me: there is no bar. (Wombat assumes vacant Keanu Reeves-like expression)
[Message Edited]

I agree Evil Dave, its good to read stories from all sorts of people and as you have seen "sperm pressure" has already made it on to other storylines..

keep up the good work

Test, one two, one two.

Doh, it didn't work. Never mind
[Message Edited]

or try this
[quote*] text [/quote*]

remove the asterix (*) to trigger the html quote function. for the "text", you can copy paste whatever. IE

meanwhile back on the A.S.S.

So Steve i see that they took the bait.

Evil Steve looks at BlueSteel {how did he know that)

ummm.. yes Blue they did.. but how did you know that I was successful..

I have my sources and spies to keep track on my troops actions.
So they are looking at the wrong info... LOL that'll teach em
I'd love to see their faces when they drop out nof warp right in the suction of a black hole...

Evil Seve laughs and agrees.... {thinking about pontius's sperm preasure problem...) that'll fix him all right

Meenwhile back on the Gross home ship.. the Moguia cruins away.. then iot hears something and stops singing and scurries away to its unknown hiding spot. its nerves shaking in fear.

(Something else came on board with the last ship to dock)

To be continued: