Our Travels in the Metaverse
Part 4: The Fellowship of the Ring
Scene 1
The daffodils waved in the cool, placid breeze. They dotted the well-ordered fields and glens abutting the cobbled road between the spaceport and the Capital. The rich, yellow flowers greeted the warm, dawn sun as if to say ‘I love you’. Children gaily dressed in bright, cheerful clothes and wearing cute bonnets, waved happily at the cavalcade as they rode by.
Jaws turned to Theoden of Rohan and asked, “Is everyone always this cheerful?”
Theoden smiled shyly. “But of course. The bucolic air, the dappled sunlight, the shimmering waters of Gondor, all conspire to create the rich tapestry of life that we in the Fellowship call home”. A tear rolled down his cheek, and he gruffly wiped it away. “I’m sorry. It gets me every time”.
“Mmmm. And the children wear bonnets? That’s so gay!”
Theoden nodded happily. “As I said, we are indeed happy in Gondor and Rohan and the Shire”.
Jaws couldn’t deny that the landscape was beautiful. They crossed a bridge being repaired by a troll who cringed. The townlands were rich, with wide tilth and many orchards, and homesteads there were with oast and garner, fold and byre, and many rills rippling through the green from the highlands down to Anduin. Yet the herdsmen and husbandmen that dwelt there were not many, and the most part of the people lived in the seven circles of the City. Even as Jaws gazed in wonder the walls of the approaching City passed from grey to white, blushing faintly in the morning sun; and suddenly the sun climbed high in the sky and sent forth a shaft that smote the face of the City. Then Jaws cried aloud, for the Tower of Ecthelion, standing high within the topmost walls, shone out against the sky, glimmering like a spike of pearl and silver, tall and fair and shapely, and its pinnacle glittered as if it were wrought of crystals; and white banners broke and fluttered from the battlements in the morning breeze, and high and far he heard a clear ringing as of silver trumpets.
“O Elbereth! Gilthoniel!” cried Theoden, at the sight.
So Jaws came to the Great Gate of the Men and Women of Gondor at the rising of the sun, and its iron doors rolled back before them.
Scene 2
The State dinner was lavish and serene. Serving women in long flowing gowns, placed the food in platters on the trestle tables in the large fire lit Hall of the People of Gondor. Minstrels played as if in Paradise: a lament for the fall of Lorien and the passing of Galadriel, the white star shining in her white hand, from the Grey Haven and into the West, and so passing from the sight and ken of man, bereft of her serene beauty and wit, forever.
Jaws, ever hungry, looked at the meal in dismay. Before he could speak or cry out in dismay, vincible placed a cool hand upon his dorsal fin and said in a serene and careful manner: “Hold fair fish”. Before the gathered dignitaries ate, Theoden and ricbayer and vincible and all the gathering, Lords and Ladies and common folk too, turned and faced West in a moment of silence. Theoden signed to Jaws that he should do likewise.
“So do we always do”, he said, as they sat down: “we look towards Numenor that was, and beyond to Elvenhome that is, and to that which is beyond Elvenhome and will ever be. Have you no such custom at meals?”
“Um. Offhand… no” grunted Jaws.
Theoden glanced at vincible: their eyes met and spoke although no sound was made or word uttered, and then they turned away. Jaws sunk in to his chair, feeling strangely rustic and untutored. “But if we in the Special Forces enjoy a meal we usually belch” he said hopefully.
“So I would imagine” offered Theoden tersely.
“May I ask” asked Jaws, “what…morsels you have prepared for tonight? I could eat a horse!”
Theoden reared back in sheer horror. vincible said quickly, “Know thee, that we are vegetarians in Gondor and eat but organic vegetables and roots and berries and flowers and no animal of the field or forest, plain or hill, dale or swamp, desert or knoll, delta or…”
“I think I’ve got it” said Jaws. “But in one word, is there meat tonight?”
“No”.
Scene 3
Theoden glanced at Jaws with lament in his bovine eyes. He looked again at the scroll before him and brushed the butterfly from the parchment, gently. “Our Minister of Foreign Relations will be here soon, and a bright and…colourful chap is he. Why, harken, I hear him approach”. They heard a song.
Old Tom Bombadil is a merry fellow;
Bright blue his jacket is, and his boots are yellow.
With a hop and a bound there came into view a singing man, or so it seemed. At any rate he was too large and heavy for a hobbit, if not quite tall enough for one of the Big People, though he made noise enough for one, stumping along with great yellow boots on his thick legs, and charging through the room like a cow going down to drink. He had a blue coat and a long brown beard; his eyes were blue and bright, and his face was red as a ripe apple, but creased into a hundred wrinkles of laughter. In his hands he carried on a large leaf as on a tray a small pile of white water-lilies.
Jaws stood up. “Minister. I represent the Special Forces. I come to introduce ourselves and ask for contracts and missions…”
Tom Bombadil sang:
Hey dol! Merry dol! Ring a dong dillo!
Ring a dong! Hop along! Fal lal the willow!
Tom Bom, jolly Tom, Tom Bombadillo!
Jaws looked at Theoden. Theoden looked fondly at Tom.
Tom said “No time to talk. Goldberry is waiting. The table is all laden with yellow cream, honeycomb, and white bread and butter. Time enough for such negotiations tomorrow or next month or perhaps next year”. With that he picked up his lilies, and then with a wave of his hand went hopping and dancing along the corridor eastward, still singing loudly and nonsensically.
Hey! Come derry dol! Hop along, my hearties!
Hobbits! Ponies all! We are fond of parties.
Now let the fun begin! Let us sing together!
Jaws looked at ricbayer. ricbayer looked embarrassed, rolled his eyes, and made a slight motion with his thumb and second finger up to his mouth, pursed his lips and pretended to inhale. Jaws nodded in agreement.
Scene 4
Jaws sighed, and kissed the roommaid again. She giggled. “You are a big boy and all” she tittered. “Oi don’t tink oi been nibbled in so many places afore now”.
Jaws gave one last nibble. With icy restraint he kept himself from taking off her arm. It was fortunate that he had not broken skin otherwise his restraint would have been for naught. Perhaps just a toe he thought. Surely she wouldn’t miss one toe.
However, he knew that he had to get information. For otherwise this visit had been a complete waste of time. “Come my little Goblin girl. Where is Ray the Wanderer? What has befallen him? For he was once mighty and now seems to be no more”. Damn, he thought, now I’m doing it!
The little Goblin girl crouched down in horror and fear. “Why Mister fish, oi can’t speak of such, not wid the like of thee. T’would be me life if they found out. Cruel they are, to the likes of me. Hate’s me they do and all me kind. But look to the tower of black, and there ya can see the home of the Evil One”. With that she fled from the room. And never again did she see her little cottage in the slums of Minas Tirith, for it came to pass that the men of Gondor, although not Theoden, for he was brave and honest and knew not what they did behind his broad back, for he was not always everywhere and indeed, could not be, given his newspaper and other duties and home life as well, discovered what the little Goblin girl had said and became enraged beyond all reason, and in the night when all bad deeds are done, they found her and imprisoned her, and as I said, she apparently never went home, not even as far as her door.
Scene 5
And it came to pass that Jaws did look upon the tower of black, Minas Morgul it was called. And there he heard a weeping and a gnashing of teeth. And Jaws climbed the wall and slithered into a window and there his eyes beheld Ray the Wanderer.
“Ray?” asked Jaws with wonder. “What have they done to you?” For Ray was restrained by chains, and could not move.
Ray wept then and stared at Jaws with pleading eyes.
“I know thee Jaws and I beseech you. Tell all of my fate. It was time for me to ride on; for the Third Age is over, and the days of the Rings are passed; and the end was come of the story and song of those times. With them went many players who would no longer stay in Middle-earth; filled with a sadness that was yet blessed and without bitterness, and with them would I also have gone. But they will not let me go who would. With me gone they fear the end of the fellowship in Middle-earth and so it shall pass. I dream of Cirdan and the Grey Havens and the white ship lying there to take me West on the grey sea. And so I shall pass away into the West and be known as Ray the Wanderer no more, if but I could. When my bindings are released then I shall leave and find peace forever in some other Universe. Until then. Go in peace! I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil. Aiya elenion ancalima!”
Scene 6
And so Jaws returned to the Special Forces and their pub. And he went into the pub, and there was a yellow light, and fire within; and the evening meal was being served, and he was expected. And Mrs Wombat drew him in, and set him in his chair, and put little Wascally upon his lap.
He drew a deep breath. “Well, I’m back,” he said.
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Stardock Forums
Welcome to the home of Special Forces. 
*Gerakken hides from the ever-earlier groupings of political party primaries.*
