WinCustomize ForumsHelpful Hint #2- Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
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JamMeister33
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Helpful Hint #1- A mouse trap, placed on top on of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.
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Hindsight is always 20/20
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"Youth is wasted on the young...."
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A man has been stranded on a desert island, all alone, for ten years. Suddenly, emerging from the surf comes this drop-dead gorgeous woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She approaches him and asks, "How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?" "Ten years!" he says. She reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a fresh pack of cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, and takes a long drag, and
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Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
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Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?
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another Hmmmmm... bad cut and paste by /me
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HINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO HMMMM..... 1. Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin? 2. Why is a boxing ring square? 3. Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips? 4. Why is it that rain drops but snow falls? 5. Why is it that to stop Windows, you have to click on "Start"? 10. Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? 11.
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I apologize to all of the blondes out there, nothing personal intended..............
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Pick up lines sure NOT to work! 1. Nice legs...what time do they open? 2. Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package. 3. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more? 4. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you. <img src="http://images.stardock.com/images/smiles/sb.gif" border=0 ALIGN="absmiddle" ALT="Pow
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Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting he
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Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slow. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back.
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Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have LOTS of money.
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Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
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This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling... and I'll think about returning your call.
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The inevitable result of any golf lesson is the instant elimination of the one critical unconscious motion that allowed you to compensate for all your errors.
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"Ah, yes, divorce......., from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet," - Robin Williams
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"Suppose you were an idiot... And suppose you were a member of Congress... But I repeat myself." - Mark Twain
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"When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car..." - George Carlin
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Winamp with DFX...."WE ROCK"
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"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."- Billy Crystal
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"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself." - Roseanne
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"In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?" - Warren Hutcherson
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"Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography." - Paul Rodriguez
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