mrtee

mrtee

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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE CONTACT Richard Schvanski, Corporate Communications SOUTHCOAST BELLCOM TO CLEAN PHONE AND INTERNET ACCESS LINES Los Angeles, CA - March 25, 2003 - Southcoast Bellcom, a subsidiary of PCG Communications, is preparing to join telephone companies throughout the U.S. in a nationwide "cleaning" of all phone and telecom lines this Sunday. "We do this about every 10 years," said a Richard Schvanski, spokesperson for the National Telephone Association. "Over time, dust

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The Lone Ranger & Tonto stopped for a rest. Tonto put his ear to the ground, looked at the Lone Ranger and said "Ugh, kemosabe, buffalo come." The Lone Ranger responded "How do you know that Tonto?" Tonto stood up, wriggled a finger around in his ear and said "Ground wet." > >

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The best part of that is I drove a beer truck for 6 years, went into selling whiskey and wine for 5 years, was a bartender for 6 years, delivered cigs, chips, candies, chemicals, etc. to bars for 7 years, and a few other occupations thrown in. I don't drink anymore (the joke would be "or any less for that matter.") This May I'll have been working in the housekeeping dept. of a hospital for 7 years. That's a lot of toilets, floors, garbage and linen. Passing on a joke or 2 during the d

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Glad to be of assistance. So here is another. Once there was a mad scientist who worked by himself in his laboratory. He was so lonely that one day, he decided to clone himself. Everything worked perfectly, except that the clone had a very foul mouth. The scientist worked with the clone, but alas, he could not make the clone clean up his language. He got so tired of the clone's language that one day he pushed him off the end of a cliff. A policeman rushed up to him, and yelled "You are

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course", comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland", replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course", replies the second man. Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin", comes the reply. "I can't believe

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One fine day in Ireland, an American tourist is out golfing and gets up to the 16th hole. He tees up and cranks one. Unfortunately, it goes into the woods on the side of the fairway. He goes looking for his ball and comes across this little guy with this huge knot on his head, and the golf ball lying right beside him. "Goodness," says the golfer, and proceeds to revive the poor little guy. Upon awaking, the little guy says, "Well, you caught me fair and square. I am a leprechaun. I will gran

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Fagan made a lot of money in his furniture store one year so he went to Paris for a holiday. "Twas grand," he told his friends in Galway. "How did you get on," asked Padraig McGiolla, "and with not a word of the language in you." "Twas simple. Look at the girleen I met in the park. I drew a picture of a taxi and she knew what I meant so we went for a drive. I drew a lot of plates and cutlery and she knew I wanted her to go for dinner. I drew two people dancing and we went to a night

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A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the countryside with a pet dog which he loved and doted on. After many long years of companionship, the dog finally died so Muldoon went to the parish priest: "Father, my dear old dog is dead. Could you be saying a mass for the creature?" Father Patrick replied, "I am so very sorry to hear about your dog`s death. But, unfortunately we cannot have services for an animal in the church. However, there`s a new denomination down the road, no telling what

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A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He goes back into the saloon, handily flips his gun into the air, catches it above his head without even looking and fires a shot into the ceiling. "WHICH ONE OF YOU SIDEWINDERS STOLE MA HOSS?", he yelled with surprising forcefulness. No one answered. "ALRIGHT, I'M GONNA

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Spinal, The greatest joke in the world (as voted on in England); Two hunters out in the New Jersey wilds, one falls over, an apparant heart attack. The other hunter dials 911 on his cell phone and starts screaming at the EMT on the other end that he thinks his buddy is dead. The EMT says "take it slow, the first thing we have to do is make sure that he is dead." Silence on the line. Then the EMT hears "BANG!" The hunter gets back on the phon

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1) Identical twins, dressed exactly alike, stopped in to Cooney’s pub for a drink. Clancy staggered up to them, and stopped to look at them in amazement. Then he ordered another drink. Finally, one of the twins laughed and said, “Don’t get upset, you’re not really in such bad shape. We’re twins.” The Irishman took another look and said, “All four of you?” 2) Casey and Flanagan go on a holiday to Africa. They go out camping in the jungle. They are sleeping in their tent when Casey cries

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Bricklayer Accident Report Dear Sir; I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block #3 of the accident reporting form. I put “Poor Planning” as the cause of my accident. You asked for a more complete explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient. I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found I had some bricks left over whi

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