Xaltec

Xaltec

Joined Member # 305100
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Reply to The Monty Python thread in WinCustomize Talk WinCustomize Forums

"The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding In all of the directions it can whizz As fast as it can go, at the speed of light, you know, Twelve million miles a minute, and that's the fastest speed there is. So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure, How amazingly unlikely is your birth, And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space, 'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth." From the galaxy song

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Reply to Messageboard Joke Marathon in WinCustomize Talk WinCustomize Forums

One more then must do some work The Golfers One of the regular foursome was sick, so a new member named George filled in. He was very good and pleasant company so they asked him to join them again the following Sunday. "9.30 okay?" George said, "Fine, but I may be about ten minutes late. Wait for me." The following Sunday George showed up right on time. Not only th

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Reply to Messageboard Joke Marathon in WinCustomize Talk WinCustomize Forums

What movies have taught us! 1) All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices, which have large red read-outs to tell you exactly when it will go off. 2) Should you need to pass yourself off as a German officer it will not be necessary to speak the language, a convincing accent will do. 3) All apartments in Paris overlook the Eiffel tower. 4) Most lap top computers are powerful enough to override a bank security system or the communication

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Reply to Messageboard Joke Marathon in WinCustomize Talk WinCustomize Forums

You know you're a RedNeck when... You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter. You've ever been pumping gas and another customer asks you to check his oil. You think the Bud Bowl is real. Your dog goes "oink!" You think the Nutcracker is something you did off the high dive. Your mailbox is made out of old auto parts. You know how to milk a goat. Your kids have a three-day old Kool-Aid mustache. Your TV gets 512 chann

1,171 Replies 208,802 Views
Reply to Messageboard Joke Marathon in WinCustomize Talk WinCustomize Forums

I Need to know the answers! a.. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?" a.. Who was the first person to say "See that chicken there....I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt." a.. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? a.. Why is there a light in the f

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Reply to Messageboard Joke Marathon in WinCustomize Talk WinCustomize Forums

Some men in a pickup truck drove to a lumber yard. One of the men walked into the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos." The clerk asked, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?" The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck. He returned shortly and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-four." "All right. How long do you need them?" The customer paused for a moment and said, "I'd better go check." After a while, he returned to the office

1,171 Replies 208,802 Views
Reply to Messageboard Joke Marathon in WinCustomize Talk WinCustomize Forums

Three young ladies are trapped on a dessert island. A blond A brunette And a redhead. One day they find a magic lamp, and rub it in the vain hope a genie would appear. **POOOOOF** A genie appeared! "I can grant you all one wish!" said the genie. "You first." He said to the blond "I wanna be cleverer, so's i can get offa dis island!" She announced. **POOOOOF**<br

1,171 Replies 208,802 Views