Alone again, naturally.

Discarded

Discarded condoms were found in the garden bed at the age care home and it was discovered that 100 year old Bill had left them

there.

There along with two vials of Murphy's number nine love potion (TM), six used Viagra (Bill don't waste nuttin'), seventeen (still in the original wrappers) ribbed designer thongs (Bill has a thing for wedgies) and a cluster-pack of vibratin', rib ticklin'...

come-hithers   

Come-hithers wur wot I wos gittin' frum a delishus buxom wench on tha poop

deck.

Arrrr

Deck of Arrr was a hit way back when when the Barbary Pirates had no

Barbary.

Barbary Barbra began bludgeoning blacksmiths before beating Bullwinkle's baby.

Boxer

Boxer was found guilty of hiding knuckle dusters in his trunks and was sentenced by the boxing commission to 5 years of never taking off his

gloves.

(hehe, I can see all the troubles he'd be having... wiping his bum, for one)

Gloves found at the scene were covered in blood, and what appears to be toilet paper and feces.

Investigation

Investigation uncovered a dastardly plot to render the boxer completely unable to tend to his own toileting, and thus it found to contravene his human

rights.

Rights and basic freedom can be revoked, if one puts themselves above others.

Egocentric

Egocentric politicians should all be brought down and sent to an island where we never have to see them

again.

Again, again, if i said i once, i said it a thousand times, the only good politician is a dead one.

Speech

Speech by the winner of tomorrow's election had better not come from that recalcitrant, Abbott, otherwise I'm gonna

spew.

Spew chunks, he did, one too many shots of tequila, did him in.

Inebriated

Inebriated pirates should refrain from burying their treasure until they're sober... it makes things easier to find to dig up later

on.

On, and on, and on, it goes, where it stops nobody knows.

Monotonous 

Monotonous speeches and diatribe, that's all we've heard from our rather disappointing politicians this

election.

Election campaigns encourages the mindless to exhibit the talent.

Zombie 

Zombie politicians usually get elected because they appear almost lifeless and will do the least damage, but the trouble with that is that they then don't do

enough.

Enough zombies might actually reach iq of a genius, but all zombies is smarter than

politician.

Politician is found in compromising position with cheap hooker, but claims he is doing electoral

research.

Research into the (ahem) cummings and goings (exit only) with boxing gloves on and a politician in charge of holding his nose wondering why the boxer can't stand the

smell.

Smell of a politician is usually quite evident due to the halitosis from telling so many

lies.

Lies, lies, lies, all i see or hear.

Dishonesty

Dishonesty is all I've heard during this last election, and it looks like we might be up for several more servings of bullshit as we have a hung parliament and may have to go back to the

polls.