lol I was thinking the same thing LOL

We should have made our empire the RSPCA.

/quack starts sucking the schnapps off his skin

Mmm. This does taste good, but.

The Posse broke out the Transmorgifrier...

"Guys I think there's something wrong." said Killa. It's not working properly. It won't zap as far as it used to and now it's erratic.

Wombat: Sounds like a transmorgifrier to me. (laughter)

Killa: But you guys don't understand. It's erratic. It won't. convert properly anymore.

WOMBAT: Ahhh who cares. Set it on what obi wants and hope it works. If he comes out as a platypus instead so be it. (laughter erupts)Now Quack Take a look at that power chamber.

Quack opened the chamber. Here's your problem. That Goopy silvery stuff is almost gone. When it runs out, so too does our transmorgifrier I'd wager.

Wombat: Well contact acting cap'n Gerakken and get us another one.

Jaws Groaned. "Now that we're independent, it's gonna cost us......."

The rest of the posse just stammered and looked around nervously.

The level of background chatter in the Meta led Gerakken to investigate this new power. Weird things were happening in the halls of this new empire from the start. The Spymaster remained unseen while carefully taking notes. After completing his assessment and sending the data back to one of his faithful espionage droid assistants, it was time to decloak and crash the thread in the traditional manner.

Suddenly appearing in an empty lounge chair, Gerakken raised his right hand and waved. "Nice place you got here. Hail, fellows. It has been interesting watching all of this. Do you realize it usually takes me days to find and infiltrate a new empire? Yet here I am so soon. Maybe it was all that noise. Your neighbors said you could be heard as far away as Skowbo! Such a rowdy bunch, as usual."

Looking over at the next chair, Gerakken crooks his neck to the right, curiously examining the Jedi slumped in the chair, temporarily oblivious to his surroundings. The Jedi's arm flailed over the side of the chair, loosely grasping a bottle of booze before the now empty container slipped from his grasp. The disturbances in the Force must really be strong to drive a Jedi into a drunken blitz in a vain attempt to drown out whatever it was trying to tell him. "Very peculiar," Gerakken stated. "Not exactly an everyday occurance." Then there was the duck at the bar. The naked purple drunken duck trying to lick some spilt booze off of his feathers. The counter in front of him had a strange array of herbs and soem orange wedges. "This is either prepearations for duck l'orange, or Quack is having another one of those psychotic streaking episodes. Must be good booze. I'll have whatever he is having."

Cypher: Hey, mate, good to see you again. Weren't you a bear until just recently? Looks like the transmogrifier is going to have a couple of targets...

Remember, y'all need to go to the empire page and click "join" - this generates an email to Wombie asking for permission. You can edit it to your heart's content; begging and grovelling may help, or perhaps a promise to buy the next round. If you just drop him a normal email message instead of using the link on the empire page, he can't sign you up.

Wow, Friday night already? I think we need some more Western Hemisphere recruits, or I'm not going to get much sleep trying to chat with you guys! I'm at work at the moment, but if the muse hits me over the head again tonight, I'll see if I can move the story along a bit.

He's still a bear. The latest episode transmorgifried his wife into a grizzly. He stayed a bear.

Special Forces, eh? Damnit, you dropped us to 9th. Son of a...Don't expect to stay where you are. Muahahaha.

Anyways...while I'm here. Hook my up with some of the duck of orange or whatever you aussies call it. Also some of the drink would be nice. I need to kick back for a while.

MMM, kick back, eh? We'll see about that. You can party better than who. What is there not to love above killing numerous Torian Slaves, they grow on trees don't ya know.

I think I had to much to drink.

Ah. So it's down to me, then...(sigh)

By the way, Pontius, admire your efforts with GROSS over the last few days. As you might guess, I've had pangs over letting go of the past as well; although you don't even have an event to get righteously indignant about for a trigger - the mighty survey ship simply grew dusty from a lack of active plunderers. Whatever course you set, good luck! Ditto for Gerakken and the last of the old buccaneers. And if Kit or EBZ should ever stop by one of the old pirate hideaways, please give them my regards.

Good luck in the special forces

Arrgh! Sorry about the delays, guys - real life intervened. Cypher is now installed - welcome!

I'll get verbal shortly....

Hello! Thought I might drop in.

Welcome Sherbert and thanks for dropping by - and congrats on reconstituting the Judy order!

Thank you.

good morning.... my head hurts

Obi Wan and Killa sipped their hot chocolates.

Killa laughed politely at Obi Wan's joke. "You know Obi, it's a pleasure to have a touch more refinement in the posse. The boys are a great bunch of mates, but they can be booze hounds at the worst of times".

A flash of concern crossed Obi Wan's face. "Alcohol in excess is not a good thing. In fact, it's a bad thing".

Killa nodded. "My thoughts exactly. Why, I have here a spy video of a typical Friday night for Jaws that will curl your toes". He popped a video disc into the player and Obi Wan and Killa looked at the screen...


Jaws staggered against the bar and dropped his bottle of Becks. “Eryaknow Wombieeeeeee. Why won’t the chicksssssss come acrossss.” Hiccup.

Wild looked askance at Jaws. “Can’t answer that one, Jaws. Maybe ‘cause we frequent bars where there are none? And what happened to that little temptress you were chatting to earlier?”

Jaws looked around the pub from red rimmed swollen eyes. He picked... something... out of his gleaming white teeth. It looked like a pair of panties. “Can’t rememba Wombieeee. But we’s been everywheres... yea?”

Wild held up a paw and ticked off his fingers. “Tonight we’ve drunk at the Shelbourne, Cargo Bar, Cruise Bar, Jacksons, Marble Bar, Slip Inn, The Irish Bar, Civic, 3 Wombats, Union, Percy's, Greenwood, Commodore, Crows Nest Hotel, the Nag’s Head and then were thrown out of the Greenwood, just as I was enjoying the music. It would have been cheaper to drink at home, and Mrs Wombat does a delicious hot chocolate. And she knows some very nice lady wombats, and you could do worse.”

Jaws looked confused. “Tasty? I seem to remember gettin’ lucky at the Greenwood?”

Wild looked ill. “Yea. And then you groped her and discovered she was a tranny.”

“Oh right.” Jaws giggled. “She wasn’t too bad though was she?”

Wild Wombat sighed. “Come on, Jaws. Let’s get you to The Stoned Crow.”

The boys left the pub and staggered down the street. Jaws burped and then pushed his way to an empty doorway. Wombat looked away. It had been a long, long night, and it wasn’t over yet. He had been married for some years now and just wasn’t used to this.


A look of horror crossed Obi Wan and Killa's faces, and another emotion too.

Jaws slowly gained consciousness. He opened a blood-shot eye to check whether he had company, and then quickly closed it, disappointed but at the same time relieved.

Nonetheless, three sets of eyes bore into his head.

He could the weight of expectation even with his eyes closed. As Jaws had discovered, there is no snooze button for a cat waiting for breakfast. "Alright, alright already. Jennifer, Suzy, Carmelita, gather in the kitchen and I'll be out shortly..."

Jennifer, Suzy, Carmelita looked at each other, rolled their eyes, and moved not a whisker. They'd heard that one before and had never since fallen for it. The expression 'once bitten, twice shy' had actually been coined for cats. As one, they began to nag, and nag, and nag...

Good morning Jaws!

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Killa...

Last night it was the Occidental and I'm afraid we did end up at the Stoned Crow....

Most Bouncers ask if you have had too much to drink, at the Stoned Crow they say "Think you need a bit more inside you before you come in here"

Jesus, what sort of an outfit have we got here!!! Bloody boozehounds and layabouts! I need discipline - where's the Marquesa....

have you checked my profile recently killa.. seems kind of apt now

LOL LOL LOL A picture of you eating head... LOL

Am I right about the girls?

Morning Wombie, I'll get around to your queries after brekkie.

I'm here.
Taking notes. Looking for weaknesses.

Jaws. Pity about that wimpy pale icon.
Your picture shows that at heart you are one of us.

Morning Killa, Jaws - I actually like that pic, Jaws, especially the gleam in your eye....



You ARE my weakness, you temptress...I mean, what's a Special Forces outfit without an undercover operative...

We'll have a whip round for you.....

Alex


~SDC~

LOL...

what they ment to say is that

"We'll have to whip you around"

LOL

Their translaters got it backwards..

LOL

My Travels in the Metaverse

Part 1: The ANZACs

Killa strode into the almost empty throne room. Emperor BlueSteel was slumped on his throne, twiddling with his sceptre. The Emperor glanced up and frowned. "Have you come to gloat?" he snapped, with a faint quaver in his bass voice.

Killa shook his head. "Your pain is our pain Your Magnificence".

The Emperor shrugged. "So why are you here? And in a new uniform too. We don't understand".

"There is much you don't understand. The Metaverse is vast, Emperor. Perhaps bigger than we can comprehend. But much of it is in… shadow and more enters that shadow every day. People call out for redemption, for a saviour...um, for help".

"Ah".

"And the Special Forces can provide that help...for a fee".

"Unhh".

"If you need a wrong righted, a good deed done, then call us, and we'll be there. One of our mottoes is 'He ain't heavy, he's our brother'."

"Pffft. Are the Special Forces an empire then?"

Killa paused and glanced quickly around. His spybot-jammer still reported that the numerous spybots hidden about the throne room were being jammed. Killa moved closer to the Emperor and said quietly, "I am representing the Special Forces. We are not an empire as such. Our quest is to explore new worlds and new frontiers. To boldly go...oh, wait". He searched his pocket and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper. He read the paper with a wrinkled forehead. "Sorry, I meant to say our quest is to help old empires and new ones too. To quietly go where others have already gone, and right the mess they have created. To foster friendship and harmony in all human empires, so that all of us, brothers and sisters together, can reach new heights of happiness with each other, within Galactic law and under the guiding hand of Our Holy CariElf Lady of the Blessed Software".

A twitch of amusement crossed Emperor BlueSteel’s puckered red lips. "Noble ideals. That is how many empires start: even the greatest. But they all become twisted and foul in the end. Fortunately the ANZACs remain! We are the light on the hill: the lighthouse of hope: the goblet of sacrifice: the trench of obstinacy: noble of mind and spirit! Begone with you, you flibbertigibbet, and take your meddling elsewhere. You sound like a deranged European drongo".

Killa puffed himself up to his full three feet in height. "So be it Emperor. But you'll be knocking on our website before too long. Oh yes. And then we'll see what price you get charged for our help. We shan't come cheap. But… there is one more thing".

"What! We become bored!"

Killa snapped: "KitWarrior! We have recently...gained some knowledge concerning that comrade's whereabouts!"

Emperor BlueSteel stiffened. "Uh?"

"We know you have him here in Steelburg. Perhaps held captive, or worse..."

The Emperor looked away and pulled his lower lip in agitation. "We won't deny it. T’was for the good of the empire...but times have moved on, like everyone else. We counseled Evil Steve about going too far, but once he starts..." The Emperor shuddered.
"Enough. Kit is no longer here. We bought him a one-way ticket to Skowbo. He wasn't quite...sane... when he departed. He was celibate during his… vacation here. Do you know what celibacy is, what it can do to a young, virile man? Days and days and month upon month of celibacy?"

"Of course I know what celibacy is! I’m not a mooncalf! Yet, are we talking about, like, you know, utter celibacy? Or perhaps just about mild, almost celibacy: like in a marriage?"

"Complete, absolute, total, sheer, downright, unreserved, unqualified, thorough, out-and-out celibacy".

"So, not partial then".
"You get our drift".
"He will be a little mad then".

Killa shook his head in dismay. "To Skowbo then. May Your Magnificence prosper". He genuflected and left the gloomy throne room without a backward glance. As a result he didn't see the shadowy figure slither from the shadows.

The Emperor rose and bowed to the shadow. “Did I do well Master?”

The Master cackled. “Yes Blue, very well. Very well indeed”.