I'll give a shout out to Kelly Monteith. Seriously funny guy. One of those comedians Letterman hung out with in the early days who never found the same level of fame or exposure. Too bad. If you can ever catch his old BBC series, I recommend it.
Ugh, I'm too dizzy. (And not in the pleasant "Dizzy Dame" sense -- and what is the male equivalent of that anyway? "Ditzy Dude"?? Anyway...) And I have to go take another one of those godawful horse pills. So, anyway, while I was passed out on the couch last night, I couldn't drag myself to the kitchen to give the cat his late night feeding. He decided to feed himself and ripped a
Q: What did the rooster say to the chicken? A: Cluck cluck.
Or maybe I should just give away a recipe book. Is that too shameless? I'm desperate. 1287 thirty-day points and falling.
Psst...I heard Fred Hareis' wife has nipples the size of dinner plates! Speaking of which... did you see the unexpurgated pics of Tara Reid's wardrobe malfunction? Maybe I should start a thread... "comment here and I'll send you a copy of Tara's humongous nips." <img src="../images/smiles/smi
I get similar things supposedly from eBay. I wonder what the purpose is since the links go back to eBay instead of some scam site? Like you, I can't figure that out. I know mine are fake for two reasons, 1) while I have an eBay account, they are sent to an address eBay doesn't have. 2) The conditions they warn me about aren't true. For instance, I got one saying my credit card information wasn't correct so they would close my account within 7
I love it when people with four times my (30 days) points whine about how unread they are.... None-the-less, might I offer some possible reasons? 1) Too many articles. Actually, I think the number of articles is one of the things that propelled you up to begin with. The larger problem with it now may be something beyond your control, namely... 2) The s
"Damn Government! Wasting my tax dollars on cancer research! When are all you crybaby liberals going to wake up and realize that cancer is a personal health issue! All those idiots smoking and eating fried foods and filling their bodies with all kinds of carcinogens! Then they expect the Government to come along and take care of the problems they started! "Admit it, you won't be happy till the government regulates every area of our live
Oh well, looks like I'll have to answer at least one... ColGene and Gene Nash, two folks who smell their own diaper and cry that the government doesn't do something about the smell. Come now, don't you think insulting me like that might cost you some credibility? If you'll look a
P.S. -- That'll be my only post on the topic. Bash at will. Just remember, the ability to bash does not make the bashing accurate.
Well, even a stopped clock is right twice a day.... Overall, I'm going to agree with the Colonel on this one. Up till now Bush has totally ignored the energy crisis we are in. (That couldn't have anything to do with his being buddy buddy with so many energy company executives could it? Nah.) That consumers are partially to blame with their horse-power and huge-monster-of-a-car obsessions doesn't excuse the government from taking a le
Prior to 2000 they were claiming Nostradamus was predicting Armageddon for before the new millennium. Then a guy wrote a book insisting Nostradamus said World War III would begin in 2002. Now they claim it will happen soon and be over by 2012. When that doesn't happen they will find a new date. Blech. It's all B.S. For anybody that still puts any weight in the bablings of Nostradamus, please read "The Mask of Nostradamus" by James Ra
Grrrr... I hope no one responds now. Sorry -- I'm going to butt in again. As I was reading the comments I missed, one situation occurred to me where I would prefer to be ignored. There is a certain user here who deleted ev
That's what they get for occupying to find Weapons of Tax Destruction.
*hands you the aspergillus* I promise to use my aspergillus only for good, and never for evil. <img src="http://www.imageuploads.net/ims/pic.php?u=752dH49T&i=2
Let me guess. These casks use to contain water until you got ahold of them, right? See, I'm already racking up miracles. Can I depend upon your testimony? That reminds me of another one: 12. I'm already infallible. Why not make it official?
Sorry Don Nash, but you are not eligible, regardless of how well you look in funny hats! Piffle. I have several Priests on standby, ready to perform whatever rites of conversion are necessary. (It's amazing what a few casks or choice ancient wine will buy you.)
What would your pope name be? I've decided not to go with a traditional name. Instead I'm going to use a symbol. It'll probably be a variation on the one Prince used, but with a halo. This is the initial design:
Methinks I can already see tendrils of white smoke!! ;~D I hope so. I could use the gig. Just in case, here's another one: 11. I disagree with that whole "Pope = Antichrist" thing the Pentecostals/Evangelicals have going. <img src="../images/smiles/joke.gif" border=0 ALIGN="abs
Dear Princes of Rome, Please weigh the following ten items when considering my nomination for Pope. Thank you. 10. I'm part Italian. You get to have an Italian and non-Italian Pope at the same time. 9. I'm multi-lingual, so I can keep up that whole "talk to them in their own language" thing. 8. I l
All problems can't be solved by having a shiny, happy, friend to bake brownies That could depend on what's in the brownies...
I like the idea. It would be a cool paid adventure. FDR did some really good things with the WPA, and some really silly things. Personally, I'm a fan of the Federal Theater Project. But I digress....
What, no mention of Fred Harteis's Sunday afternoon jaunts with Hitler?
(sorry this is cryptic, but it is necessarily so). I get what you mean. I'm pretty much the black sheep of both sides of my family. Considering some of the unsavory characters running around, that is quite remarkable. I'm also estranged from my non-biological family. I had to wr
How's the Crisis, Bub? Not that anyone cares... Because of the parts of the situation those who are actually still reading this may have noticed I recently edited out, I probably won't update this till June. (Yes that makes no sense unless you a) have some brains, and b) were following along. Tough.) (In other words -- dispen
JoeUser Forums