Mr_Ph00ey2u

Mr_Ph00ey2u

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Reply to Messageboard Joke Marathon in WinCustomize Talk WinCustomize Forums

Worst Excuses For Being Late 13) Actually, I've been here for over 20 minutes, big guy - I was just out chillin' in the van waiting for the end of the live version of 'Freebird'. 12) I keep forgetting which side of the International Date Line you're on. 11) We're *open* on Tuesdays?!? 10) It took this long to get the ol' blood alcohol level down to the legal driving limit. 9) I had to take extra time this morning to wrestle with overwhelm

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Reply to Messageboard Joke Marathon in WinCustomize Talk WinCustomize Forums

Science Class Actual statements from High School test papers A student in a science class wrote, "The universe is a giant orgasm" (instead of organism). At the end of the student's essay, the teacher riposted, "Your answer gives new meaning to the Big Bang Theory." All animals were here before mankind. The animals lived peacefully until mankind came along and made roads, houses, hotels, and condoms. Marie Curie did her research at the Sore B

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Reply to Messageboard Joke Marathon in WinCustomize Talk WinCustomize Forums

At Heathrow, a 300-foot red carpet is stretched out to Air Force One and President Bush strides to a warm but dignified handshake from Queen Elizabeth II. They ride in a silver 1934 Bentley limousine to the edge of central London where they board an open 17th century coach hitched to six magnificent white matching horses. As they ride toward Buckingham Palace, each looking sideways and waving to the thousands of cheering Britons lining the streets, all is going

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Reply to Messageboard Joke Marathon in WinCustomize Talk WinCustomize Forums

Got Any Duck Food One day a convenience store worker was sitting not doing much. At 2 o'clock the doors swing open and a duck walks in. "Do you have any duck food?" the duck asks. "No we don't have any duck food." "Okay, thanks anyway", says the duck, and walks out. The next day at 2 o'clock the doors swing open again, and the same duck walks in. "Got any duck food?" he asks. The clerk is a little annoyed "No! We don't ha

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Reply to Messageboard Joke Marathon in WinCustomize Talk WinCustomize Forums

Martha Stewart's Tips For Rednecks 1. Never take a beer to a job interview. 2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them. 3. It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church. 4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets. 5. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home. DINING OUT 1. When decanting

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Reply to Messageboard Joke Marathon in WinCustomize Talk WinCustomize Forums

ACCIDENTAL ACCIDENT REPORTS 1. Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have. 2. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intent. 3. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way. 4. In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole. 5. I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not s

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Reply to Messageboard Joke Marathon in WinCustomize Talk WinCustomize Forums

Old Couple Pulled Over An elderly couple was driving across the country. While the woman was behind the wheel, the couple was pulled over by the highway patrol. "Ma'am, did you know you were speeding?" the officer said. The woman, hard of hearing, turned to her husband and asked, "What did he say?" "He said you were speeding!" the old man yelled. The patrolman then asked, "May I see your license?" The woman turned to her husband a

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Reply to Messageboard Joke Marathon in WinCustomize Talk WinCustomize Forums

A church lady's experience: The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a "honk if you love Jesus bumper sticker." I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put in on my bumper. I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is and I didn't notice tha

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Reply to Messageboard Joke Marathon in WinCustomize Talk WinCustomize Forums

The Top 14 Signs You're Dead 14> Goth chicks are diggin' your look. 13> "Weekend at Bernie's" just isn't as funny as it used to be. 12> Only necrophiliacs answer your personal ad. 11> A federal agent is prying your gun from your cold hands. 10> Last thing you remember is beaming down to that planet in your red security uniform. 9> An announcer screams, "The Cubs win the World Series!" 8> Haley Joel Osment has been followi

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Reply to Java web site flickered when using CursorXP!!! in WinCustomize Talk WinCustomize Forums

Bussie gave you the answer and the cure...I didn't know MS had pulled it either. I haven't a clue why it's missing from your configuration. Think that's about all the help we can be for you unless someone else here knows something we don't <A HREF="https://www.wincustomize.com/index.asp?Cmd=full&NewsID=9

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Reply to Java web site flickered when using CursorXP!!! in WinCustomize Talk WinCustomize Forums

First things first, please verify you are not using Sun Microsystems Java. There is an issue with it and Microsoft..nothing anyone can do anything about, their legal teams have to hammer it out. In case you're not sure here's the way to check: in IE menu/tools/internet options/advanced/ Scroll down to 'Microsoft VM' and check 'Java console enabled' If 'Java(Sun)' entry exists right above that, make sure it's not checked. A picture speaks a thousan

41 Replies 10,760 Views
Reply to Messageboard Joke Marathon in WinCustomize Talk WinCustomize Forums

A lawyer, a doctor, and a redneck were driving through the desert when they suddenly ran out of gas. They all decided to start walking to the nearest town (which they had passed 50 miles back) to get some help. A rancher was sitting on his front porch that evening when he saw the lawyer top the horizon and walk toward him. The rancher noticed that the lawyer was carrying a glass of water, so when he was within hearing distance, the rancher said, "Hi

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Reply to Some Cursors Dont Install.... in WinCustomize Talk WinCustomize Forums

Donno what you're doing wrong but what Jamz & Wom said still goes, I just downloaded it and it installed without a hitch. The only thing contained in the zip is the CursorXPTheme. All ya should have to do is click on that file and it will self install even if ya don't extract it to the CursorXP Themes directory. It sounds like you extracted the individual files from the themes file...you're not supposed go quite that far. <img src="http://images.stardock.com/images/smiles/joke.gif" border=0 ALI

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Reply to Messageboard Joke Marathon in WinCustomize Talk WinCustomize Forums

Military Customer Service Ever wonder how the trend of replacing human customer service representatives with computers could affect the military. Here's the result. Picture troops under fire, desperately needing artillery support, making a phone call and hearing the following: Thank you for calling the 26th Division's automated artillery support request line. Please be assured that we will attempt to assist you with all available resources in the shortest time po

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