One fine sunny morning, a Catholic Priest took a walk in the local forest. He had been walking by the small stream when he noticed a sad, sad looking frog sitting on a toadstool. "What's wrong with you?" said the priest. "Well," said the frog, "the reason I am so sad on this fine day is because I wasn't always a frog." "Really!" said the priest. "Can you explain!" "Once upon a time I was an 11 year old Choir boy at the local church. I too was walking throug
MORE BUMPER STICKERS Ax me about Ebonics Body by Nautilus; brain by Mattel Boldly going nowhere Dain bramaged Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway Heart Attacks...God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends How many roads must a man travel down before he admits he is lost If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you If you lived in your car, you'd be home by now Money Isn't Everything, But it Su
The Wolf Man comes home one day from a long day at the office. "How was work, dear?" his wife asks. "Listen! I don't want to talk about work!" he shouts. "Okay. Would you like to sit down and eat a nice home cooked meal?" she asks sweetly. "Listen!" he shouts again. "I'm not hungry! I don't wanna eat! Alright! Is that alright with you? Can't I come home from work and just do my own thing without you forcing food down my throat? huh?" At this mo
REJECTED CHILDRENS BOOK TITLES Juggling Knives is Easy Where to Find the toys in the Oven "Whatcha' Doin'" the Wonderful Phrase 101 Games to Play in the Road The Indoor Pool is a Big Potty and the Divingboard is the Flusher Homemade Fireworks using a Bathtub, a Blowdryer, and a Fork Arthur Gets Hunted Clifford and the Big and Yellow Semi Monsters Killed Grandpa The hit sequel to "Elvis is your real dad" Mrs.Clause is your real Mom Chicken P
Due to increasing product liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a
God and Moses were out golfing. They were both doing well. Then they came up to the 5th hole. It was a dogleg to the left, with a lake to the right. Moses got up and hit a long shot with a little hook. Right in the middle of the fairway. Then God got up and pulled out his driver. Then Moses said,"God, everytime you use you driver you always slice it." So God said, "If Arnold Palmer can do it, I can do it." So he approched the ball. Got ready, then hit a long on
Fred and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year. Every year Fred would say, "Edna, I'd like to ride in that there airplane." And every year Edna would say, "I know Fred, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars." One year Fred and Edna went to the fair and Fred said, "Edna, I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance." Edna replied, "Fred that there airplane rid
Important link for the War on Terrorism The U.S. Navy initiates it's new Terrorist Catch and Release Program http://www.solarnight.com/toons/catch_and_release.jpg
A woman suspects her husband is cheating on her. One day she calls home and a strange woman answers. Wife: Who is this? Maid: This is the maid. Wife: We don't have a maid. Maid: I was hired this morning by the man of the house. Wife: Well, this is his wife. Is he there? Maid: He's upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I assumed was his wife. The wife is fuming. She says to the maid... "Listen, would you like to make $50,000? Maid: What will I have to
A Protestant died and was sent to hell. A few seconds after arriving, the Devil appeared in a cloud of smoke and said, "Hey Bill, Welcome to Hell! Here's the keys to your Porsche. Let's go visit your beachhouse!" Before the befuddled man could answer, the Devil whisked him into the Porsche and off they went. Arriving at the beachhouse, the man could only stare in awe at the magnificent mansion before him. The Devil handed the keys to the mansion and the sportscar to the man whos
Just ONE Wish... werewolf was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said, "OK, You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three... You only get one wish!" werewolf sat, and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I'
Pat and Mike work at the Guinness Brewery, and one day there's an accident. Pat calls Mike's wife, Mary, and says: "Sure, and I hate to be tellin ya this, but there's been an accident down at the Guinness." "Saints Preserve us," says she, "is Mike alright?" Pat responds, "I'd like to tell ya that, but it'd be a lie!" "Ya don't mean that me Mike's been hurt?" says Mary. "Sure, an it's worse than that," says Pat, "he's fallen inta the beer vat and drowned!"<b
Up at the head table in the cafeteria, one of the nuns had placed a big bowl of bright red, fresh, juicy apples. Beside the bowl, she placed a note which read, "Take only one. Remember, God is watching." At the other end of the table was a platter full of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, still warm from the oven. Beside the platter with the cookies was a little note scrawled in a child's handwriting which read, "Take all you want. God's watching the apples
A nun was going to Chicago. She went to the airport and sat down waiting for her flight. She looked over in the corner and saw one of those weight machines that tells your fortune. So, she thought to herself "I'll give it a try just to see what it tells me." She went over to the machine and put her nickel in, and out came a card that said, "You're a nun you weigh 128lbs and you are going to Chicago, Illinois." She sat back down and thought about it. She told herself it probably tel
Signs Someone Has Hacked Into Your Email Account ~ "Honey, why is an 18-wheeler from Amazon.com backing into our driveway?" ~ One Secret Service agent is sitting on your head while another is cuffing you. ~ Apparently, your flame war with Don [email protected] is about to turn ugly. ~ When you log on, your computer cheerily greets you: "You've got lawsuits!" ~ Your inbox is filled with doggie porno and you're *strictly* a sheep porno kind of guy
Remind me to target a slew of derogatory jokes with jarget as the unfortunate victim! Go Bucs! (I'm just kidding jarget...or am I?) <A HREF="https://www.wincustomize.com/index.asp?Cmd=full&NewsID=913
Gotcha! Iben wished to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday, as they had not been dating for long. After careful consideration, he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right romantic note, but not too personal. Accompanied by his sweetheart's younger sister, he went to Sears and bought a pair of white gloves. The younger sister purchased a pair
Two men waiting at the Pearly Gates strike up a conversation. "How'd you die?" the first man asks the second. "I froze to death," says the second. "That's awful," says the first man. "How does it feel to freeze to death?" "It's very uncomfortable at first," says the second man. "You get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes. But eventually, it's a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kind of drift off, as if you're sleeping. Ho
The pastor of a church began his sermon with this story: "I was on a plane last week, flying from Chicago to California, when we ran into some very severe turbulence. As it got worse, the passengers became more and more alarmed, and finally even the flight attendants began to look concerned. Finally, one of them noticed that I had 'Rev.' in front of my name on the passenger list, came over to me, and said, 'Sir, this is really frightening. Do you suppose you
Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?" "Only one kiss per yard," replied the smirking male clerk. "That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten yards." With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly. The girl snapped up the package and poin
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