Wow! thanks for taking up the slack in my absence, BBM!! Great jokes Kim, CerebroJD, David Mandle & mrtee!!!! This one is for the ladies... Male Prostitute A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail with some of her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy young man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not ta
The U.S. Constitution is not based on that of the Iroquois Confederation, it's based on the Magna Carta, the Mayflower Compact, the English Bill of Rights among numerous other documents...none of them being native Indian laws. That is a fable made up by those with their own agendas, I certainly hope some teacher didn't try to fill your head with that urban legend! Just the facts ma'ma...leave the tall
I got a good chuckle from this one...makes me wonder if when I was a teenager the girls I dated's Fathers were thinking the same thing! 8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter When I was in high school, I used to be terrified of my girlfriend's father, who I believe suspected me of wanting to place my hands on his daughter's chest. He would open the door
Pope Gregory IX - decreed and carried out the Inquisition
Have a lovely day http://www.solarnight.com/lovelyday/
PREGNANCY Q & A The Answer Man Tackles Pregnancy: Q: Am I more likely to get pregnant if my husband wears boxers rather than briefs? A: Yes, but you'll have an even better chance if he doesn't wear anything at all. Q: Can a woman get pregnant from a toilet seat? A: Yes, but the baby would be awfully funny looking. Q: What is the easiest way to figure out exactly when I got pregnant? A: Have sex once a year. Q: Shoul
CLASSES FOR WOMEN CLASSES FOR WOMEN AT YOUR LOCAL ADULT LEARNING CENTER - SIGN-UP BY MAY 05th Note: Due to the complexity & difficulty level, each course will accept a maximum of 5 participants. Topic 1 How to get to places on time. - - examples of clock reading and time management. (classes will start at least one hour past advertised times) Topic 2 How long is too long in the bathroom? - - review of case studies. <br
KB..what addy did you mail to? Car Problems There are four engineers traveling in a car; a mechanical engineer, a chemical engineer, an electrical engineer and a Microsoft computer engineer. The car breaks down. "Sounds to me as if the pistons have seized. We'll have to strip down the engine before we can get the car working again", says the mechanical engineer. "Well", says the chemical engineer, "it sounded to me as if the fuel might be contamina
Home Made 2 Ghz P4 1 gig RAM GEForce4 60 gig 7200rpm hd 19" Monitor 52x cd HP Burner SB Live Logitech Cordless Optical Mouse Networked to a cable modem XP Pro and all the accessories yadda yadda yadda <A HREF="https://www.wincustomize.com/index.asp?Cmd=full
The Mirror After living in a remote wilderness all his life, an old codger decided it was time to visit the big city. In one of the stores he picks up a mirror and looks in it. Not knowing what it was, he remarked, "How about that! Here's a picture of my daddy." He bought the 'picture', but on the way home he remembered his wife, Lizzy, didn't like his father. So he hung it in the barn, and every morning before leaving for the fields, he would go there and look at
100 Zany Ways To Phone in a Pizza Order 1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that. 2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it. 3. Use CB lingo where applicable. 4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal. 5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation." 6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest
It's just a Joke, Kim Blonde Pizza A blonde went into a pizza parlor. When she said that she'd like a medium pizza, the clerk asked her how many pieces she'd like to have it cut into: six or twelve? Oh, goodness, six please, said the blonde. I don't think I could ever eat twelve. <img src="http://images.stardock.com/images/smiles/lol.gif" border=0 ALIGN="absmi
Pepperoni Pizza An American businessman goes to Japan on a business trip, but he hates Japanese food, so he asks the concierge at his hotel if there's any place around where he can get American food. The concierge tells him he's in luck, there's a pizza place that just opened, and they deliver. The concierge gives the businessman the phone number, and he goes back to his room and orders a pizza. Thirty minutes later, the delivery guy shows up to the door with the pizza.
Tip the pizza delivery boy A college pizza delivery boy arrived at Jim's house. He delivered the pizza to his trailer. After giving it to him, Jim asked: "What is the usual tip?" "Well," replied the youth, "this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I'll be doing great." "Is that so?" snorted Jim. "Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here's five dollars." "Thanks," replied the youth, "I'll
BoBoMoe! Pretender! Hi Kim Pizza Delivery FBI agents conducted a raid of a psychiatric hospital in San Diego that was under investigation for medical insurance fraud. After hours of reviewing tho
A new employee is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory, to report to work promptly at 8:00 AM. The next day at 8:45 AM, there's a knock at the personnel manager's door. The assembly line foreman comes in and starts ranting about this new employee. He says she's incredibly slow, and the whole line is backing up. The foreman takes the personnel manager down to the factory floor to show him the problem. Sure enough, Elmo's are backed u
The 86 rules of bar drinking 1. If you owe someone money, always pay them back in a bar. Preferably during happy hour. 2. Always toast before doing a shot. 3. Whoever buys the shot gets the first chance to offer a toast. 4. Change your toast at least once a month. 5. Buying someone a drink is five times better than a handshake. 6. Buying a strange woman a drink is still cool. Buying all her drinks is dumb. 7. Never bo
Sometimes the title comes before the work...sometimes I have a working name that never sees the light of day and I end up calling it something else! so I fit in the MikeB catagory as well.
Congratulations Ingui!! I was just wondering the other day why you weren't already an Apprentice with your work constantly being on the top authors and top downloads listing. Well anyway, it's much deserved and well earned. Way to go, my friend! <img src="http://images.stardock.com/images/smiles/events.gif
The Cheap Suit The fellow was being sold a very cheap suit. "But the left arm is a lot longer than the right arm," he complained. "That's why the suit is such a bargain," the sales clerk explained. "Just cock your left shoulder up a little, like this, and tuck this left lapel under your chin a bit, like this." "But the right leg is way too short," argued the customer. "No problem," the sales clerk answered. "Just keep your right knee bent a little
I use IE Spell too..thanks elvee for turning me on to it. My wish list for the messages above a spell checker would include to be able to preview the message before sending.
Ohhhh! Kim's gonna get you for that BoBo! Just when we had a truce going with the sex wars! Speaking of which...good to see you back, Kim! Bungee Jumping Al and Joe are bungee-jumping one day. Al says to Joe, "you know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumpin
Whoa! BoBo! TRUTHS 1. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks. 2. Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs. 3. I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to t
Good one David! HILLBILLY LOVE POEM Suzie Anne done fell in love; She planned to marry Joe. She was so happy 'bout it all She told her Pappy so. Pappy told her, "Susie gal, You'll have to find another. I'd just as soon yo'Ma don't know, But Joe is yo'half brother" So Susie put aside her Joe And planned to marry Will. But aft
Pleased to meet ya BoBoMoe! Great Jokes! Signs That You Are Broke 1. American Express calls and says: "Leave home without it!" 2. Your idea of a 7-course meal is taking a deep breath outside a restaurant. 3. You're formulating a plan to rob the food bank. 4. You've rolled so many pennies, you've formed a psychic bond with Abe Lincoln. 5. Long distance
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